8 ms·

My experience doesn't line up with your preconceived notions of the Bay Area at all. I've worked at three different jobs in San Francisco, and all of them were

by skylark 10y ago

My experience doesn't line up with your preconceived notions of the Bay Area at all. I've worked at three different jobs in San Francisco, and all of them were standard 9-5 jobs. I've worked weekends under 5 times. Most of my friends are in the same situation. Sure if you want to work at an early stage startup, you can grind yourself into a paste. But there are plenty of jobs here where that's not the case.

chrisper 10y ago
Maybe it is because I live in the South Bay. But here it seems that everyone is just going to work and back home.. and that's it. There is nothing else going on here, but work work work.
- Mz 10y ago
  It might be your specific location. It also might be a combination of "selection bias" -- people tend to be friends with people who are like them in some way -- and psychological filtering where you just don't see anything else for some reason. I remember reading a piece about alcoholism where it was describing an alcoholic who concluded that everyone drinks a great deal and just doesn't admit it because that was what their social circle was like. I rarely drink alcohol and have known plenty of people like me, so, no, not everyone drinks. Most people suffer confirmation bias. We look for confirmation of what we believe to be true about a thing. It is unusual for someone to actively seek more objective data and try to determine what the actual truth is. Most of us default to trying to fit the world to our preconceived notions of it.
  - yarou 10y ago
    I think it comes down to culture. The culture of the South Bay is relatively non-existent outside of small pockets like Palo Alto, Los Gatos, Mountain view, and maybe Santana Row. It's geared toward raising kids and family life in general.
    - Mz 10y ago
      I am having enormous difficulty parsing that comment. I have tried to just let it go, but I am failing at that, and I am seriously struggling to reply in a way that does not sound like snark. Could you clarify what you mean? Because it sounds like either you are saying "Culture only exists in tiny parts of certain places, no place else in the South Bay even has a culture" (which is utterly nonsensical) or maybe you are saying "People who have kids and put family life first are not part of any culture." (again, a big fat nope).
      - hisham_hm 10y ago
        I'm guessing what was meant by culture was "cultural life", as in "things to do outside" (think the Arts & Culture section of the newspaper).
        drdeadringer 10y ago
        I look for that type of thing and seem to find an alright selection. I don't always select, but there's a selection.
      - imesh 10y ago
        A culture of people with no kids doesn't sound like a real culture to me.
      - therealpeal 10y ago
        I think what he is saying is that the South Bay is completely without culture, unless you count strip malls and chain restaurants.
        ghaff 10y ago
        "Chain restaurants" Really? I don't even live in the Bay area but I visit a fair bit on business and I don't know the last time I've eaten at a chain either in the city or the South Bay. But the South Bay is basically suburbia, SJ technically being a "city" notwithstanding. So just like pretty much every other urban area in the US, there's enormously more "culture" (in the Arts, Theater, and Culture section of the newspaper sense) in the city, SF in this case, than in the suburbs. Boston/Cambridge are exactly the same way. I live well West and like it but if I want to go to see a show or music performance, 95% of the time I'm going to drive into town.
- astrange 10y ago
  Try Meetup or joining ridiculous activities like crossfit. I read someone here call them "secular cults" - why do you think people go to church everywhere else?
- kobeya 10y ago
  Going straight from work to home and staying there is indicative of a "work work work" culture? That's some doublespeak. I have lots of hobbies (and kids) at home, and wish I could do more of that. The South Bay is a residential suburb. It doesn't have much of a nightlife. The same can be said about most of the places people live in this country outside of the densest urban centers. If that's not what you want, then by all means move. But recognize that this is exactly the sort of stability many people strive hard for.
- mwfunk 10y ago
  Whether or not that's true, your lifestyle isn't dictated by what "everyone" does, it's only dictated by what you do. I know lots of people who are workaholics or spend all of their non-work time with their families, and I know as many or more people with rich and varied lifestyles that go out and do stuff with friends all the time. It's what you make of it, like many things in life.
  - chrisper 10y ago
    Sadly, what everyone does determines what is available to me. They are not going to create nightlife and other interesting stuff if there is no target demographic.
- minwcnt5 10y ago
  I don't know what exactly you're looking at, because from my perspective "everyone" is an insane exaggeration on your part. I know countless people who run, cycle, ski, mountain bike, play soccer, go backpacking, play board games, travel, partake in live music, and so on and so forth. Sure there are disproportionately more workaholics in the area. There are also disproportionately fewer people who work 9-5 then go home and veg out on their couch. To me, the lifestyle here is rich and amazing. Where I grew up, which was in an equally large and cosmopolitan city, it's too cold or too hot for 4-6 months of the year to do much outdoors, salaries weren't high enough for people to routinely go to expensive restaurants or travel, and the geography is nowhere near as beautiful or interesting. Maybe you should look inward more and take charge of your life; it may be that you're hanging around people who focus entirely on work, and so your perception is skewed.
  - jartelt 10y ago
    I totally agree. If people want to gripe about high rent/COL or lack of public transit that is fine and legitimate. But complaining about lack of things to do just doesn't add up. You can go hiking in Marin or in the open space preserves on the peninsula. You can drink great beer at several breweries or go to Napa/Sonoma to wine taste. You can go skiing in Tahoe. You can go to Yosemite or Sequoia. You can ride your bike in the mountains/hills on the peninsula. You can go to several different beaches. There is a good restaurant scene (albeit expensive). There are NBA, NFL, and NHL teams if you are into sports. As someone who moved here from Illinois, I think the variety of things to do in the Bay Area is huge.
    - chrisper 10y ago
      But all the places you mentioned are at least 1.5 hours drive from San Jose. You can't expect me to drive 1.5 hours just to not have to sit at home every time I want to have some fun? I love day trips, but I don't want to have to to a day trip every weekend or every day I want to have some fun. Compare that to LA or San Diego where you don't have to drive far to have fun (nightlife for example) or awesome beaches. All I see in San Jose is empty streets after 9pm. There is nothing going on in this town besides work.
- reality_czech 10y ago
  You need to broaden your horizons. There are tons of things to do in the South Bay. * Rock climbing * Scuba diving in Monterey * Bicycling on the bay trail * Board gaming clubs * Meetups * Wineries * The boardwalk in Santa Cruz You can even take an hour train ride straight to SF and spend the day with the snobs and homeless. And then take the same train home to a place that doesn't stink like urine.
kLeeIsDead 10y ago
When he said "mind work", I took it as the constant, 24 hour stress I experienced while living there. Which sometimes is completely unrelated to work. The insane commutes, the work culture, the high rent / COL, the culture of trying to look as rich/smart/successful as possible, the sue happy people, the fact that there's absolutely nothing else to do other than work, etc really wore down on me. I lived in the south bay though... admittedly it seemed slightly better in SF. Less money grobbing and more hipsters. But it looks like all that is going out the window very quickly. The south bay culture is spreading like a cancer.
- chrisper 10y ago
  Yeah, same. I live in San Jose and feel 100% like you. I haven't even worked yet and only went to school here and I am already exhausted. This is why I chose not to live here after graduation.
  - kLeeIsDead 10y ago
    The crazy part about it is it's just going to get worse and worse. I was born and raised in SJ... since the 80s this tech stuff has been slowly building on top of itself like some sort of tumor, and the city does absolutely nothing to stop the gentrification and overall shittyness of the money-money-money mindset from taking over. I'm 23 now, most of my friends and 100% of my parents friends (lived there since the 60s) have moved out because of the constant influx of migrant workaholics. It's given me a very cynical view on life. I really don't know where else to move, I feel like I need to leave the country as well, or at least leave California. Where are you going, if you don't mind me asking?
    - chrisper 10y ago
      I am moving (back) to Europe (Germany). I have a European Passport, so I don't have to worry about a visa, like I would have to if I decided to stay here.
      - kLeeIsDead 10y ago
sangnoir 10y ago
> My experience doesn't line up with your preconceived notions of the Bay Area at all Your phrasing is needlessly incendiary and possibly mistaken, since parent says >> I am young and about to finish school, but I am moving away from the Bay Area and even move to a different country.

by skylark 10y ago

chrisper 10y ago

Maybe it is because I live in the South Bay. But here it seems that everyone is just going to work and back home.. and that's it. There is nothing else going on here, but work work work.

Mz 10y ago
It might be your specific location. It also might be a combination of "selection bias" -- people tend to be friends with people who are like them in some way -- and psychological filtering where you just don't see anything else for some reason. I remember reading a piece about alcoholism where it was describing an alcoholic who concluded that everyone drinks a great deal and just doesn't admit it because that was what their social circle was like. I rarely drink alcohol and have known plenty of people like me, so, no, not everyone drinks. Most people suffer confirmation bias. We look for confirmation of what we believe to be true about a thing. It is unusual for someone to actively seek more objective data and try to determine what the actual truth is. Most of us default to trying to fit the world to our preconceived notions of it.
- yarou 10y ago
  I think it comes down to culture. The culture of the South Bay is relatively non-existent outside of small pockets like Palo Alto, Los Gatos, Mountain view, and maybe Santana Row. It's geared toward raising kids and family life in general.
  - Mz 10y ago
    I am having enormous difficulty parsing that comment. I have tried to just let it go, but I am failing at that, and I am seriously struggling to reply in a way that does not sound like snark. Could you clarify what you mean? Because it sounds like either you are saying "Culture only exists in tiny parts of certain places, no place else in the South Bay even has a culture" (which is utterly nonsensical) or maybe you are saying "People who have kids and put family life first are not part of any culture." (again, a big fat nope).
    - hisham_hm 10y ago
      I'm guessing what was meant by culture was "cultural life", as in "things to do outside" (think the Arts & Culture section of the newspaper).
      - drdeadringer 10y ago
        I look for that type of thing and seem to find an alright selection. I don't always select, but there's a selection.
    - imesh 10y ago
      A culture of people with no kids doesn't sound like a real culture to me.
    - therealpeal 10y ago
      I think what he is saying is that the South Bay is completely without culture, unless you count strip malls and chain restaurants.
      - ghaff 10y ago
        "Chain restaurants" Really? I don't even live in the Bay area but I visit a fair bit on business and I don't know the last time I've eaten at a chain either in the city or the South Bay. But the South Bay is basically suburbia, SJ technically being a "city" notwithstanding. So just like pretty much every other urban area in the US, there's enormously more "culture" (in the Arts, Theater, and Culture section of the newspaper sense) in the city, SF in this case, than in the suburbs. Boston/Cambridge are exactly the same way. I live well West and like it but if I want to go to see a show or music performance, 95% of the time I'm going to drive into town.
astrange 10y ago
Try Meetup or joining ridiculous activities like crossfit. I read someone here call them "secular cults" - why do you think people go to church everywhere else?
kobeya 10y ago
Going straight from work to home and staying there is indicative of a "work work work" culture? That's some doublespeak. I have lots of hobbies (and kids) at home, and wish I could do more of that. The South Bay is a residential suburb. It doesn't have much of a nightlife. The same can be said about most of the places people live in this country outside of the densest urban centers. If that's not what you want, then by all means move. But recognize that this is exactly the sort of stability many people strive hard for.
mwfunk 10y ago
Whether or not that's true, your lifestyle isn't dictated by what "everyone" does, it's only dictated by what you do. I know lots of people who are workaholics or spend all of their non-work time with their families, and I know as many or more people with rich and varied lifestyles that go out and do stuff with friends all the time. It's what you make of it, like many things in life.
- chrisper 10y ago
  Sadly, what everyone does determines what is available to me. They are not going to create nightlife and other interesting stuff if there is no target demographic.
minwcnt5 10y ago
I don't know what exactly you're looking at, because from my perspective "everyone" is an insane exaggeration on your part. I know countless people who run, cycle, ski, mountain bike, play soccer, go backpacking, play board games, travel, partake in live music, and so on and so forth. Sure there are disproportionately more workaholics in the area. There are also disproportionately fewer people who work 9-5 then go home and veg out on their couch. To me, the lifestyle here is rich and amazing. Where I grew up, which was in an equally large and cosmopolitan city, it's too cold or too hot for 4-6 months of the year to do much outdoors, salaries weren't high enough for people to routinely go to expensive restaurants or travel, and the geography is nowhere near as beautiful or interesting. Maybe you should look inward more and take charge of your life; it may be that you're hanging around people who focus entirely on work, and so your perception is skewed.
- jartelt 10y ago
  I totally agree. If people want to gripe about high rent/COL or lack of public transit that is fine and legitimate. But complaining about lack of things to do just doesn't add up. You can go hiking in Marin or in the open space preserves on the peninsula. You can drink great beer at several breweries or go to Napa/Sonoma to wine taste. You can go skiing in Tahoe. You can go to Yosemite or Sequoia. You can ride your bike in the mountains/hills on the peninsula. You can go to several different beaches. There is a good restaurant scene (albeit expensive). There are NBA, NFL, and NHL teams if you are into sports. As someone who moved here from Illinois, I think the variety of things to do in the Bay Area is huge.
  - chrisper 10y ago
    But all the places you mentioned are at least 1.5 hours drive from San Jose. You can't expect me to drive 1.5 hours just to not have to sit at home every time I want to have some fun? I love day trips, but I don't want to have to to a day trip every weekend or every day I want to have some fun. Compare that to LA or San Diego where you don't have to drive far to have fun (nightlife for example) or awesome beaches. All I see in San Jose is empty streets after 9pm. There is nothing going on in this town besides work.
reality_czech 10y ago
You need to broaden your horizons. There are tons of things to do in the South Bay. * Rock climbing * Scuba diving in Monterey * Bicycling on the bay trail * Board gaming clubs * Meetups * Wineries * The boardwalk in Santa Cruz You can even take an hour train ride straight to SF and spend the day with the snobs and homeless. And then take the same train home to a place that doesn't stink like urine.

kLeeIsDead 10y ago

When he said "mind work", I took it as the constant, 24 hour stress I experienced while living there. Which sometimes is completely unrelated to work. The insane commutes, the work culture, the high rent / COL, the culture of trying to look as rich/smart/successful as possible, the sue happy people, the fact that there's absolutely nothing else to do other than work, etc really wore down on me. I lived in the south bay though... admittedly it seemed slightly better in SF. Less money grobbing and more hipsters. But it looks like all that is going out the window very quickly. The south bay culture is spreading like a cancer.

chrisper 10y ago
Yeah, same. I live in San Jose and feel 100% like you. I haven't even worked yet and only went to school here and I am already exhausted. This is why I chose not to live here after graduation.
- kLeeIsDead 10y ago
  The crazy part about it is it's just going to get worse and worse. I was born and raised in SJ... since the 80s this tech stuff has been slowly building on top of itself like some sort of tumor, and the city does absolutely nothing to stop the gentrification and overall shittyness of the money-money-money mindset from taking over. I'm 23 now, most of my friends and 100% of my parents friends (lived there since the 60s) have moved out because of the constant influx of migrant workaholics. It's given me a very cynical view on life. I really don't know where else to move, I feel like I need to leave the country as well, or at least leave California. Where are you going, if you don't mind me asking?
  - chrisper 10y ago
    I am moving (back) to Europe (Germany). I have a European Passport, so I don't have to worry about a visa, like I would have to if I decided to stay here.
    - kLeeIsDead 10y ago

sangnoir 10y ago

> My experience doesn't line up with your preconceived notions of the Bay Area at all Your phrasing is needlessly incendiary and possibly mistaken, since parent says >> I am young and about to finish school, but I am moving away from the Bay Area and even move to a different country.