5 ms·
A few years ago I ran into a girl I went on a few dates with on the corner panhandling. She was now homeless. But because she knew me she wouldn't take anything
by jhwhite 10y ago
A few years ago I ran into a girl I went on a few dates with on the corner panhandling. She was now homeless. But because she knew me she wouldn't take anything from me.
I told her she could stay with me for a bit and she said no, I offered to put her up in a hotel and she said no, I offered money and she said no. She did let me buy her lunch. I saw her at different corners around town and she would never take money. But I would sometimes swing by some place and pick up a breakfast biscuit for her.
I haven't seen her in a while now. I hope she got help.
- dankohn1 10y agoDo you believe she was addicted to drugs or alcohol when you saw her on the street?
- mistermann 10y agoDid someone downvote this, because it's a perfectly valid question. It's maddening that this problem is so hard to solve or even manage to provide conditions slightly better than third world, and here we have a newly homeless girl speaking to a "former" I guess peer, and she won't take any help? Why?
- dazc 10y agoAs someone who's been homeless I'll try and answer from my own perspective. It is very difficult to accept help sometimes, especially from people you know. It's partly pride and, maybe, a fear that they'll always hold it against you somehow? For example, I have friends and family who would have helped me out if I had asked but that's the last thing I would ever do, still wouldn't even though I know it's a sure fire road to ruin. I got lucky and took help from a stranger at the first opportunity. Not sure that explains anything other than saying human beings don't always act rationally?
- Mz 10y agoWhy? A) It is problematic to accept help of that sort from someone in your social circle. It makes you "a charity case" and that term is quite insulting. Once you are marked as "a charity case," good luck getting any actual respect ever again. So, many people resist that because they don't want to be your bitch and would rather go hungry. B) Women face special safety challenges above and beyond that. The vast majority of men offering a woman a few bucks in charity will, sooner or later, conclude she "owes" them and want her to pay them back on her back, so to speak. So perhaps she had already been badly burned by that once, learned her lesson and was unwilling to risk it again.
- deleted 10y ago[deleted]
- tqkxzugoaupvwqr 10y agoHm, wouldn’t addicts take money because then they can afford the next high / scratch that itch? I wonder if she panhandled as a job. (Apparently very proficient ones can make $200 a day. The less homeless you look, the more people tend to believe your stories and are willing to give.) If she did it as a job on the side, maybe she didn’t want to swindle jhwhite. A more positive outlook: She was in need and to proud to take money from (former) friends. Today, she doesn’t live on the streets anymore.
- jhwhite 10y agoNo. The times I talked to her she didn't seem drunk or high. I do know that she had mental health issues. When we went out a few times I could tell something was a little off because sometimes she would have a lot of energy and sometimes it was hard for her to talk. She told me about her mental health problems (I won't go into them here), we went out a few more times and we stopped seeing each other.
- dankohn1 10y agoThanks for sharing. It's hard to imagine how difficult that life would be, and also sad to realize how many people will be losing access to mental health services as Obamacare is repealed.
- dankohn1 10y agoThanks for sharing. It's hard to imagine how difficult that life would be, and also sad to realize how many people will be losing access to mental health services as Obamacare is repealed.