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I like some of the ideas in this article, but brushing off punishment as ineffective seems short-sighted. For parents with kids who end up at a clinic because
by agarden 10y ago
I like some of the ideas in this article, but brushing off punishment as ineffective seems short-sighted.
For parents with kids who end up at a clinic because of problem behavior, punishment is ineffective. There is a selection bias going on here. Punishment, as noted in the article, is the first go-to for most parents. In situations where that works, they don't end up at a clinic for problem behavior.
If the first go-to for parents were offering shallow choices and rewarding desirable behavior, clinicians would probably find that problem behavior can't be solved that way. They might even be finding that the most effective way to deal with problem behavior is to just punish it immediately and decisively.
In other words, there is a large toolkit to be used to solve behavioral problems. Different tools work in different situations.
- jernfrost 10y agoI agree that punishment sometimes has to be used. But I think the reason why they emphasized why it didn't work, is because punishment is the go to tool for parents almost no matter what you tell them. Despite know all this advice I easily fall into the trap myself, and I see clearly how inefficient it usually is. Punishment is often the simple way out when you are too tired to really put the effort into doing it the proper way. Making sure you observe proper behavior and complement on that requires more effort. If I got a good amount of energy I am also usually able to convince my child to go with what I want them to without shouting, or threaten with punishment. But that often requires more imagination and when you are tired and worn out, there is no energy left to be imaginative.