4 ms·

Ask HN: How to support someone with burnout syndrome?

A good friend of mine has a severe burnout syndrome and I would like to know how to help. And maybe more importantly, how NOT to help. The NOT is important since I see all his friends/family/etc. giving him unasked advice, which I fear will not make it better.

endswapper 10y ago
My recommendation (not a doctor) is to makes it easy for them to engage, so it is almost accidental. With burnout, at least in part, and depending on the person, there is a tendency to withdraw. Invite them to go do something already planned, that they don't have to pay for, that won't take too long and you know they enjoy. Then just be a friend without expectations. I think advice and suggestions can make things worse because making a decision or taking action is often the thing that has them locked-up.
brudgers 10y ago
My first advice is to avoid the temptation to practice pop psychology. Burnout is not a recognized clinical diagnosis in the DSM {https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupational_burnout https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupational_burnout}. The pop-psychology of is a way of perpetuating the stigma associated with accurate clinical diagnosis for a mental health condition. My second piece of advice follows from that. There my be clinical issues and those may best be addressed by a professional clinician such as a licensed psychologist, mental health councilor, or clinical social worker.[1] A role you can play is to normalize and destigmatize the idea of professional mental health treatment. Ask the people you know if they can recommend a clinician for your friend. Yes, "I have a friend who might need a professional mental health clinician, do you know anyone?" has a certain "No, really it's a friend" connotation. Accepting that people may reach the wrong conclusion is part of being able to destigmatize and normalize mental health treatment. Good luck. [1]: I don't have anything against Psychiatrists. It's more a matter of access to Psychiatrists is limited and [in the US] typically done via referral from a councilor or MD general practitioner for the purpose of prescription based on an existing diagnosis. Which reminds me that your friend might also address their burnout with their regular doctor and likewise, your regular doctor might be a source of referral for licensed clinicians for your friend.
angersock 10y ago
Are they in tech? Why do you think they're in burnout, and why do you think it's severe? A little more background here would help.
joshuapassos 10y ago
I believe with the best option is to send to doctor.Tbe sooner the better.
BrandiATMuhkuh 10y ago
Yes he is in tech (developer). And yes, he was at the doctors. I think it's his official diagnosis. So he is now for 1-2 month on leave. Luckily, being on "sick" leave for such a long time is no problem in Austria. So he won't have problems getting the job back and he still receives normal payment.
- webmaven 10y ago
  Thanks for the clarification. Your best bet is to involve them in activities that are completely non-tech related, and preferably don't try to engage the overworked analytical skills. It would be great if some (but not all) of the other folks participating are also techies looking to get away. Movie nights, pot-luck dinners, low impact walking/hiking/cycling, drawing/painting lessons, pottery, museum visits, a book club, gardening, are all possibilities, and I am sure you can think of others. Just, find a way to let the "burned out" capabilities rest while letting (not making) them engage with others on entirely different terms.
  - BrandiATMuhkuh 10y ago
    Thank you. That is great advice. Especially for the techi friends who often think a fun software-side-project is relaxing.
csorrell 10y ago
If you're involved in any fun non-tech related hobbies that he might be interested in, invite him to join you.
allfou 10y ago
V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N

endswapper 10y ago

My recommendation (not a doctor) is to makes it easy for them to engage, so it is almost accidental. With burnout, at least in part, and depending on the person, there is a tendency to withdraw. Invite them to go do something already planned, that they don't have to pay for, that won't take too long and you know they enjoy. Then just be a friend without expectations. I think advice and suggestions can make things worse because making a decision or taking action is often the thing that has them locked-up.

brudgers 10y ago

My first advice is to avoid the temptation to practice pop psychology. Burnout is not a recognized clinical diagnosis in the DSM {https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupational_burnout https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Occupational_burnout}. The pop-psychology of is a way of perpetuating the stigma associated with accurate clinical diagnosis for a mental health condition. My second piece of advice follows from that. There my be clinical issues and those may best be addressed by a professional clinician such as a licensed psychologist, mental health councilor, or clinical social worker.[1] A role you can play is to normalize and destigmatize the idea of professional mental health treatment. Ask the people you know if they can recommend a clinician for your friend. Yes, "I have a friend who might need a professional mental health clinician, do you know anyone?" has a certain "No, really it's a friend" connotation. Accepting that people may reach the wrong conclusion is part of being able to destigmatize and normalize mental health treatment. Good luck. [1]: I don't have anything against Psychiatrists. It's more a matter of access to Psychiatrists is limited and [in the US] typically done via referral from a councilor or MD general practitioner for the purpose of prescription based on an existing diagnosis. Which reminds me that your friend might also address their burnout with their regular doctor and likewise, your regular doctor might be a source of referral for licensed clinicians for your friend.

angersock 10y ago

Are they in tech? Why do you think they're in burnout, and why do you think it's severe? A little more background here would help.

joshuapassos 10y ago

I believe with the best option is to send to doctor.Tbe sooner the better.

BrandiATMuhkuh 10y ago

Yes he is in tech (developer). And yes, he was at the doctors. I think it's his official diagnosis. So he is now for 1-2 month on leave. Luckily, being on "sick" leave for such a long time is no problem in Austria. So he won't have problems getting the job back and he still receives normal payment.

webmaven 10y ago
Thanks for the clarification. Your best bet is to involve them in activities that are completely non-tech related, and preferably don't try to engage the overworked analytical skills. It would be great if some (but not all) of the other folks participating are also techies looking to get away. Movie nights, pot-luck dinners, low impact walking/hiking/cycling, drawing/painting lessons, pottery, museum visits, a book club, gardening, are all possibilities, and I am sure you can think of others. Just, find a way to let the "burned out" capabilities rest while letting (not making) them engage with others on entirely different terms.
- BrandiATMuhkuh 10y ago
  Thank you. That is great advice. Especially for the techi friends who often think a fun software-side-project is relaxing.

csorrell 10y ago

If you're involved in any fun non-tech related hobbies that he might be interested in, invite him to join you.

allfou 10y ago

V.A.C.A.T.I.O.N