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There was a TV programme in the UK called The 3 Day Nanny, about a super nanny who would come in and sort out problem children and parents in 3 days. It ran for

by JonoBB 10y ago

There was a TV programme in the UK called The 3 Day Nanny, about a super nanny who would come in and sort out problem children and parents in 3 days. It ran for a few seasons. Fast forward till she had her own child, and I saw an interview with her. She was completely shattered. Like a wreck. She had her own difficult child, and coupled with little available help from others, she couldn't cope. She looked and sounded defeated and expressed that she felt guilty that, of all people, she was not coping. There is a reason some parents "get it right" and, I'm sorry to say, but thats just as likely down to the kid.

taneq 10y ago
Exactly this. People compare stories about what they did and try to figure out what was right or wrong, but in the end, so often it's just a matter of what the kid in question is like. Something very similar happens in business, IMO. Managers talk about different styles or techniques but in the end, the success of their team is as much about the team members' skills and dynamics as it is about the manager.
pavel_lishin 10y ago
I think it's also different for her because it's different when it's not your kid. Enforcing rules and boundaries is really easy on Monday when you're not going to be there on Thursday.
- isolli 10y ago
  It's also easier to enforce rules on kids that you don't have a deep, visceral attachment to.
deleted 10y ago
[deleted]
anonbanker 10y ago
Is there a link for this? I would love to satiate my need for schadenfreude.
- Jaruzel 10y ago
  See my link posted to the parent [post].
colanderman 10y ago
I wonder if this has anything to do with kids learning how to work around their own parents' parenting style. They'll have had years to learn how to disobey their own parents by the time this woman comes into the picture. If her style is different enough, the kids won't know how not to behave. Then when she has a kid, her kid learns exactly the mental tricks needed to be able to disobey her, by virtue of spending 24×7 with her. Nature equips kids with instincts, one of which is to be selfish, the others of which can be exploited by parents to override that instinct. But nature also equips kids with a brain, and it is only natural that selfishness uses the brain to learn how not to be manipulated by those other instincts. But that takes time; hence the above results.
- westiseast 10y ago
  I firmly believe in nuture over nature, but... Some kids have physical issues like bags of energy or stomach/sleep issues and some parents equally have physical or mental problems dealing with that. And everything goes out the window when you've had a month or four with no sleep. I think a lot of people discount that side of things - it's like in the fight world: everyone has a game plan until they get punched in the face.
Jaruzel 10y ago
I looked this up because the only nanny show I know of in the UK was SuperNanny with Jo whats-her-name[1], and I didn't think this was her. It's not: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/kathryn-mewes-the-supernanny-who-is-now-a-struggling-mum/ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/kathryn-mewes-the-su... Totally unaware of this woman, and her show. -- [1] Edit: It's Jo Frost.
- DanBC 10y ago
  The best show was "House of Tiny Tearaways", with Dr Tanya Byron. (She's a paediatric psychologist.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_House_of_Tiny_Tearaways https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_House_of_Tiny_Tearaways
dalore 10y ago
For some reason kids tend to listen to other adults more then their parents.
coryfklein 10y ago
Alternative interpretation: All parents become a wreck with kids, and having a nanny come to help you focus on alternative parenting strategies is helpful. Once you're down in the trenches, it's sometimes hard to rise above the tantrums and emotions and calmly reason about the latest psychological parenting research methods instead of just screaming, "GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

by JonoBB 10y ago

taneq 10y ago

Exactly this. People compare stories about what they did and try to figure out what was right or wrong, but in the end, so often it's just a matter of what the kid in question is like. Something very similar happens in business, IMO. Managers talk about different styles or techniques but in the end, the success of their team is as much about the team members' skills and dynamics as it is about the manager.

pavel_lishin 10y ago

I think it's also different for her because it's different when it's not your kid. Enforcing rules and boundaries is really easy on Monday when you're not going to be there on Thursday.

isolli 10y ago
It's also easier to enforce rules on kids that you don't have a deep, visceral attachment to.

deleted 10y ago

[deleted]

anonbanker 10y ago

Is there a link for this? I would love to satiate my need for schadenfreude.

Jaruzel 10y ago
See my link posted to the parent [post].

colanderman 10y ago

I wonder if this has anything to do with kids learning how to work around their own parents' parenting style. They'll have had years to learn how to disobey their own parents by the time this woman comes into the picture. If her style is different enough, the kids won't know how not to behave. Then when she has a kid, her kid learns exactly the mental tricks needed to be able to disobey her, by virtue of spending 24×7 with her. Nature equips kids with instincts, one of which is to be selfish, the others of which can be exploited by parents to override that instinct. But nature also equips kids with a brain, and it is only natural that selfishness uses the brain to learn how not to be manipulated by those other instincts. But that takes time; hence the above results.

westiseast 10y ago
I firmly believe in nuture over nature, but... Some kids have physical issues like bags of energy or stomach/sleep issues and some parents equally have physical or mental problems dealing with that. And everything goes out the window when you've had a month or four with no sleep. I think a lot of people discount that side of things - it's like in the fight world: everyone has a game plan until they get punched in the face.

Jaruzel 10y ago

I looked this up because the only nanny show I know of in the UK was SuperNanny with Jo whats-her-name[1], and I didn't think this was her. It's not: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/kathryn-mewes-the-supernanny-who-is-now-a-struggling-mum/ http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/family/kathryn-mewes-the-su... Totally unaware of this woman, and her show. -- [1] Edit: It's Jo Frost.

DanBC 10y ago
The best show was "House of Tiny Tearaways", with Dr Tanya Byron. (She's a paediatric psychologist.) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_House_of_Tiny_Tearaways https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_House_of_Tiny_Tearaways

dalore 10y ago

For some reason kids tend to listen to other adults more then their parents.

coryfklein 10y ago

Alternative interpretation: All parents become a wreck with kids, and having a nanny come to help you focus on alternative parenting strategies is helpful. Once you're down in the trenches, it's sometimes hard to rise above the tantrums and emotions and calmly reason about the latest psychological parenting research methods instead of just screaming, "GO TO YOUR ROOM!"