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I think you need a complete change in mindset, because you're just setting yourself up for failure. You shouldn't need to develop a habit like reading or exerc

by nickjj 10y ago

I think you need a complete change in mindset, because you're just setting yourself up for failure. You shouldn't need to develop a habit like reading or exercise. If you don't truly want to do these things then you'll stick to your systematic habit for a few days and it'll fizzle out, then it's back to the drawing board. I've been walking/jogging a few miles a day for the last 5 years or so. Now it's part of my life because I straight up enjoy it. I also quit smoking cigarettes cold turkey after smoking a pack a day for a long time. Both were honestly really easy to do because deep down I wanted to do them. I woke up one day and the room was spinning which is something I never encountered before. It scared the shit out of me, so I immediately changed my life style. You should be asking yourself why you want to read and exercise more. Is it because of a long term goal? Good, write that goal down and stick to doing things that point you towards it. That's all there is to it. If you find that too difficult, then your goal is not really something you care about, so think harder. Keep repeating that until you find what you really want.

theptip 10y ago
I think this fundamentally misses an important part of human nature -- we can want things in the abstract (be more healthy, be more well-read, etc.) but not actually "straight up enjoy" them. There are techniques for training yourself to think differently about tasks though; Tony Robbins talks a lot about how to train yourself to have the positive associations that you choose, instead of the ones that your environment and upbringing bestowed on you[1]. Some of that reads a bit cultish but I think there's some good stuff in there. [1]: https://www.amazon.com/Unlimited-Power-Science-Personal-Achievement/dp/0684845776/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1480789025&sr=8-4&keywords=tony+robbins https://www.amazon.com/Unlimited-Power-Science-Personal-Achi...
dpandey 10y ago
While I agree with the part that you need to really enjoy an activity for it to sustain long term, the claim that you need to enjoy it when you're starting out doesn't sound right. I love running. Yet, I struggle massively when I try getting back to it after a break. I love math. But it can be really painful to learn (most) of the math stuff the first time. I have to make a genuine effort and enforce discipline and trick/game my mindset to pick the initial momentum. When people start a routine, they usually do have a desire of where they want to be. But that's not enough to create momentum. On the other hand, once you get some momentum, that itself creates further motivation and additional momentum from the sense of accomplishment.
- nickjj 10y ago
  Why do you love math? I don't walk only because of enjoyment. I want to do serious long term travel, and I know being able to walk long periods of time is going to be part of that life style. If I REALLY want to spend years traveling the world (which I do), then I need to do things that help move the meter towards that goal. It should be exciting to do these things every day because it's one step closer to where you want to be. It's measurable progress and at the end of the day, that's a big win.
  - dpandey 10y ago
    Love for X (math/running/anything else) is hard to explain. It intrinsically appeals to me and I enjoy it once I have mastered it a bit.
goblin89 10y ago
> If you find that too difficult, then your goal is not really something you care about, so think harder. From personal experience, agreed that you shouldn’t have to make yourself, and instead realizing that you want it. Disagreed with ‘think harder’, though. When mind is foggy, thinking harder doesn’t seem to help; and when mind is clear, things tend to be obvious without thinking. When you woke up to a spinning room, you probably didn’t have to think too hard about goals or whether you’d want to experience that again. It was a moment of clarity. However, when everything is going mostly well and there are no incoming existential warnings—just normal ups and downs of life—such moments can be elusive to some of us. I’d say regularly practicing different ways of inducing bouts of mindfulness (how? I wish I knew) might be the only habit worth development per se.
- nickjj 10y ago
  Right, when the room was spinning, I didn't think "I better read a Tim Ferris book!" or "what type of application should I use to schedule my time to monitor habits". It was more like sitting down and having a conversation with myself that went something like this: "You're not in that bad shape, but something is messed up. Cigarettes are terrible and while you're not overweight, you're inactive and that needs to change or you're going to die". Then I basically evaluated my life up until that point and made sweeping changes based on a bunch of goals that I wrote out. The really funny thing is, death wasn't enough to keep me motivated with walking. Not because I hated it that much, but it was really easy to get trolled by my own brain with thoughts such as "you just walked 4 miles in 4 days after sitting at a computer desk for years... you're fine man". Now I have long term goals and walking meshes well with my life style. I've grown to like it because of what it allows me to do, not because of the mechanical motion of walking.
- DenisM 10y ago
  > regularly practicing different ways of inducing bouts of mindfulness (how? I wish I knew) Talk to a shrink. Having paid for it does wonders for your ability to focus the conversation on your goals.

by nickjj 10y ago

theptip 10y ago

I think this fundamentally misses an important part of human nature -- we can want things in the abstract (be more healthy, be more well-read, etc.) but not actually "straight up enjoy" them. There are techniques for training yourself to think differently about tasks though; Tony Robbins talks a lot about how to train yourself to have the positive associations that you choose, instead of the ones that your environment and upbringing bestowed on you[1]. Some of that reads a bit cultish but I think there's some good stuff in there. [1]: https://www.amazon.com/Unlimited-Power-Science-Personal-Achievement/dp/0684845776/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1480789025&sr=8-4&keywords=tony+robbins https://www.amazon.com/Unlimited-Power-Science-Personal-Achi...

dpandey 10y ago

While I agree with the part that you need to really enjoy an activity for it to sustain long term, the claim that you need to enjoy it when you're starting out doesn't sound right. I love running. Yet, I struggle massively when I try getting back to it after a break. I love math. But it can be really painful to learn (most) of the math stuff the first time. I have to make a genuine effort and enforce discipline and trick/game my mindset to pick the initial momentum. When people start a routine, they usually do have a desire of where they want to be. But that's not enough to create momentum. On the other hand, once you get some momentum, that itself creates further motivation and additional momentum from the sense of accomplishment.

nickjj 10y ago
Why do you love math? I don't walk only because of enjoyment. I want to do serious long term travel, and I know being able to walk long periods of time is going to be part of that life style. If I REALLY want to spend years traveling the world (which I do), then I need to do things that help move the meter towards that goal. It should be exciting to do these things every day because it's one step closer to where you want to be. It's measurable progress and at the end of the day, that's a big win.
- dpandey 10y ago
  Love for X (math/running/anything else) is hard to explain. It intrinsically appeals to me and I enjoy it once I have mastered it a bit.

goblin89 10y ago

> If you find that too difficult, then your goal is not really something you care about, so think harder. From personal experience, agreed that you shouldn’t have to make yourself, and instead realizing that you want it. Disagreed with ‘think harder’, though. When mind is foggy, thinking harder doesn’t seem to help; and when mind is clear, things tend to be obvious without thinking. When you woke up to a spinning room, you probably didn’t have to think too hard about goals or whether you’d want to experience that again. It was a moment of clarity. However, when everything is going mostly well and there are no incoming existential warnings—just normal ups and downs of life—such moments can be elusive to some of us. I’d say regularly practicing different ways of inducing bouts of mindfulness (how? I wish I knew) might be the only habit worth development per se.

nickjj 10y ago
Right, when the room was spinning, I didn't think "I better read a Tim Ferris book!" or "what type of application should I use to schedule my time to monitor habits". It was more like sitting down and having a conversation with myself that went something like this: "You're not in that bad shape, but something is messed up. Cigarettes are terrible and while you're not overweight, you're inactive and that needs to change or you're going to die". Then I basically evaluated my life up until that point and made sweeping changes based on a bunch of goals that I wrote out. The really funny thing is, death wasn't enough to keep me motivated with walking. Not because I hated it that much, but it was really easy to get trolled by my own brain with thoughts such as "you just walked 4 miles in 4 days after sitting at a computer desk for years... you're fine man". Now I have long term goals and walking meshes well with my life style. I've grown to like it because of what it allows me to do, not because of the mechanical motion of walking.
DenisM 10y ago
> regularly practicing different ways of inducing bouts of mindfulness (how? I wish I knew) Talk to a shrink. Having paid for it does wonders for your ability to focus the conversation on your goals.