Zen Option: Be patient. When the ketchup is ready to come out it will. Place it on the counter upside-down. Go do some gardening. Yoga. Meditate. Physics O

Zen Option: Be patient. When the ketchup is ready to come out it will. Place it on the counter upside-down. Go do some gardening. Yoga. Meditate. Physics Option: Centrifuge. Not only does it work, it's the law. Close lid firmly. Point the bottle down. Hold firmly. Spin in large circles. Switch arms if tired. Physics Option, Extreme Edition: Grab 4 or 5 Walmart (or whatever) grocery bags. Place one inside the other to form one thicker, stronger bag. Place bottle in bag pointing down as much as possible. Remove people and animals from general area. Move way from hanging fans, lights, etc. Grab from handles and spin around at high speed. Works great for Mayo and most other higher viscosity bottled goods. Environmental Option: The universe doesn't want you to consume this stuff any more. This was your last bottle. You are done. Post about it on Facebook. Mechanical Option: Find a hydraulic press of at least 1 ton capacity. Place the bottle in it. You might have to sandwich it between two metal plates to cover the more of the bottle. Have the end point in the desired direction. Remove the cap. Squeeeeeeeeez while you catch the ketchup in a cup. Does not work very well for glass bottles. Chemical Option #1: Place it upside-down in a bath of warm water. Should flow nicely after that. Or is that physics? Chemical Option #2: Fill with water. Shake vigorously. Empty into sauce pan. Boil off water until desired consistency is achieved. Or, is that physics? Pessimist Option: The bottle is empty. Forget it. Optimist Option: Get a gallon jug of ketchup. Re-fill the small bottle. The bottle is full. Aerospace Option: Place bottle upside-down on a vibration test fixture. Run through a full 6 minute simulation of an orbital launch mission. Motorsport Option #1: Travel to local skid-pad. Get going as close to 1 g as possible. Point bottle radially outward. Motorsport Option #2: Get in Tesla. Point bottle to the rear. Engage the most insane acceleration mode. Gun it. Motorsport Option #3: Sneak into a crash test facility. Strap bottle to the car, point it forward. Conduct crash test against solid wall. Retrieve bottle while pretending to check sensors. Baseball Option: Pitch the bottle. Have someone hit a home run. Does not work well for glass bottles. Does not work well, period. Soccer Option: Strap bottle to ball. Have a player kick a penalty shot. Have them fall to the ground and pretend they are hurt for five minutes. Golf Option: T-off and smack it with 9 iron. Will not work well for glass bottles. Model Rocketry Option: Strap to rocket. Ignite. For everything else there's Mastercard.