4 ms·

Marry someone who isn't dependent on your income and doesn't want to be. Get a prenup so it stays that way. End of story.

blowski 10y ago
And they say romance is dead!
- erikpukinskis 10y ago
  A relationship that's based on things other than money is unromantic? Is "you get half my assets" really the height of romance?
  - blowski 10y ago
    My vision of romance is more like "I love you for who you are, so I give you everything I am, and everything I have, until death do us part". Corny and old-fashioned, but that's me.
    - xenihn 10y ago
      http://reddit.com/r/bpdlovedones http://reddit.com/r/bpdlovedones And before you say "well you can always see the signs"...sadly, no, some people are really good at hiding it.
      - blowski 10y ago
        Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean.
        deleted 10y ago
        [deleted]
    - gertef 10y ago
      Old-fashioned romance is a financial agreement. "marrying for love" is a modern innovation, not necessarily a good one.
- sporkenfang 10y ago
  Er, pardon my confusion, but I have no idea what that has to do with my comment.
  - blowski 10y ago
    At least in the terrible romcoms my wife makes me watch, people just marry someone they love. They don't ask "what's my exit strategy when this marriage inevitably fails?".
    - graedus 10y ago
      It's a good idea to prepare for risks even if they don't have a 100% chance of occurring ("inevitable"). Your point stands that preparing for a non-zero chance of relationship failure is certainly "unromantic" in the traditional sense, but it might be a wise move anyway.
      - blowski 10y ago
        Knowing a breakup would have a lot of painful consequences encourages me to focus on making my marriage work. Carrying a "get out of jail free card" would me make more reckless during arguments, this increase the chances of failure. What's missing from this thread is the psychological effect of breakups - on you, your ex-partner, your children, your friends, etc. A prenup doesn't wave away all that damage.
        graedus 10y ago
        > Carrying a "get out of jail free card" would me make more reckless during arguments, this increase the chances of failure. This is interesting. Does wearing a seat belt in a car equipped with airbags make you drive more recklessly? Does wearing a helmet make you bike more recklessly? This may be true for some people but not for me. None of those countermeasures claims to guarantee you'll walk away without a scratch if the worst happens - they are designed to mitigate damage. I'm sure it's not a perfect analogy - none are - but what do you think?
known 10y ago
"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." --Socrates

blowski 10y ago

And they say romance is dead!

erikpukinskis 10y ago
A relationship that's based on things other than money is unromantic? Is "you get half my assets" really the height of romance?
- blowski 10y ago
  My vision of romance is more like "I love you for who you are, so I give you everything I am, and everything I have, until death do us part". Corny and old-fashioned, but that's me.
  - xenihn 10y ago
    http://reddit.com/r/bpdlovedones http://reddit.com/r/bpdlovedones And before you say "well you can always see the signs"...sadly, no, some people are really good at hiding it.
    - blowski 10y ago
      Sorry, I'm not sure what you mean.
      - deleted 10y ago
        [deleted]
  - gertef 10y ago
    Old-fashioned romance is a financial agreement. "marrying for love" is a modern innovation, not necessarily a good one.
sporkenfang 10y ago
Er, pardon my confusion, but I have no idea what that has to do with my comment.
- blowski 10y ago
  At least in the terrible romcoms my wife makes me watch, people just marry someone they love. They don't ask "what's my exit strategy when this marriage inevitably fails?".
  - graedus 10y ago
    It's a good idea to prepare for risks even if they don't have a 100% chance of occurring ("inevitable"). Your point stands that preparing for a non-zero chance of relationship failure is certainly "unromantic" in the traditional sense, but it might be a wise move anyway.
    - blowski 10y ago
      Knowing a breakup would have a lot of painful consequences encourages me to focus on making my marriage work. Carrying a "get out of jail free card" would me make more reckless during arguments, this increase the chances of failure. What's missing from this thread is the psychological effect of breakups - on you, your ex-partner, your children, your friends, etc. A prenup doesn't wave away all that damage.
      - graedus 10y ago
        > Carrying a "get out of jail free card" would me make more reckless during arguments, this increase the chances of failure. This is interesting. Does wearing a seat belt in a car equipped with airbags make you drive more recklessly? Does wearing a helmet make you bike more recklessly? This may be true for some people but not for me. None of those countermeasures claims to guarantee you'll walk away without a scratch if the worst happens - they are designed to mitigate damage. I'm sure it's not a perfect analogy - none are - but what do you think?

known 10y ago

"By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." --Socrates