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Microsoft's Guide to Humor
- defen 16y ago> Do I ever encourage a near party atmosphere because of my comfort with using humor? How many points do I get for encouraging near party atmospheres because of my comfort with using alcohol?
- tchvil 16y agoHey boss, I learned 50 jokes last year. Will I have my pay rise?
- asimjalis 16y agoLevel 5: You cracked the humor algorithm and developed a small humor library that now ships with the operating system.
- chbarts 16y agoThis library thinks Franz Kafka and Charlie Chaplain were the funniest people ever, particularly as epitomized in The Trial and Modern Times, respectively.
- Raphael 16y agoI don't get it.
- houseabsolute 16y agoHumor: something Microsoft could stand to learn a bit of.
- navyrain 16y agoI can't believe this is real. Just wow.
- mindcreek 16y agoGuide itself is more funny than the subject.
- RiderOfGiraffes 16y agoI'm surprised they haven't used a PowerPoint presentation.
- pw0ncakes 16y agoSay "Aidsfart" four times fast. Now say it backwards. Now stick out your tongue.
- deleted 16y ago[deleted]
- pw0ncakes 16y ago^ I wish I could delete this. I realize the comment sounds very tasteless out of context. I was ripping on the sterility and general uselessness of corporate so-called "humor" by describing a behavior that would be offensive and bizarre in normal interaction, but hilarious and awesome within a corporate context (because of its offensiveness and, therefore, its departure from what is expected).
- Luyt 16y agoAt first I thought this was a joke. But it's dead serious.
- greyman 16y agoAnd that is the joke itself, isn't it? The fun is in the fact that one can't tell whether it is meant to be serious or not.
- lanstein 16y agoThis has to be a joke.
- sethg 16y agoYou need to think like a large-company HR director. Every employee must have an appropriate rank to justify his or her salary, and a list of qualifications to justify the rank, so that nobody can say “hey, this guy across the hall is doing exactly the same work as me, but I’m paid less, that’s not fair”. All other things being equal, wouldn’t you rather have a manager or co-worker with a good sense of humor than one without? Therefore, don’t employees with good senses of humor deserve to be paid more than the humorless ones? If Microsoft doesn’t recognize and reward how employee-led humor adds value to their stakeholders, then all the employees with good senses of humor will bolt the company, attracted by the free clown suits that Google offers.
- justinweiss 16y agoNope, these are actual guidelines Microsoft uses to make hiring, promotion, and compensation decisions. city41's comment is 100% accurate about how these things are used. The entire list of 'competencies' is here: http://www.microsoft.com/education/competencies/allcompetencies.mspx http://www.microsoft.com/education/competencies/allcompetenc... It probably started as your typical big-company CYA in case someone tries to sue them for HR-related stuff and grew into this monster as some middle manager began empire-building. There's even a wheel, in case you felt like making a poster: (pdf) http://download.microsoft.com/download/3/4/7/3477e49d-315d-4ee7-a8ca-ff653a4455d6/Competency_Wheel.pdf http://download.microsoft.com/download/3/4/7/3477e49d-315d-4...
- izaidi 16y ago"Since you are reading this because you or others don't think you are good at using humor, the best technique is to follow the lead of others."
- aphyr 16y agoLearning From Bad Situations All of us will find ourselves in bad situations from time to time. Good intentions gone bad. Impossible tasks and goals. Hopeless projects. Even though you probably can’t perform well, the key is to at least take away some lessons and insights. Was there anything ironic, odd, or downright funny in all of this? Trapped on the thirty-second floor of Microsoft Documentation Complex 27B/6, Will Burnham shuddered, silently, and wept.
- henning 16y agoReminds me of Microserfs.
- nagrom 16y agoThis reminds me of E. B. White's quote: "Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind." http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/E._B._White http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/E._B._White It's also reminiscent of Louis Armstrong's "Man, if you gotta ask you'll never know" http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Louis_Armstrong http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Louis_Armstrong Is it really possible to develop a sense of humour by reading a list of bullet points, action plans and self-help advice? I'm not really convinced that this isn't a really brilliant, very subtle joke on a completely higher level. I can't decide whether this is funnier if posted by someone in earnest, or if posted in total seriousness. I think that's the joke.
- gcheong 16y ago"I'm not really convinced that this isn't a really brilliant, very subtle joke on a completely higher level." It probably started out that way.
- ajscherer 16y agoYou don't have to decide. Earnestness and seriousness are synonyms.
- nagrom 16y agoBleurgh. I rewrote that sentence a few times and ended up posting a mish-mash. s/earnest/jest/ :o)
- eru 16y ago> "Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind." Sometimes the frog dies in amusing ways. See http://xkcdexplained.com/ http://xkcdexplained.com/
- msg 16y agoHehe, those are pretty good, but xkcd makes too much sense. The king of this particular block is Marmaduke Explained. http://marmadukeexplained.blogspot.com/ http://marmadukeexplained.blogspot.com/ http://www.29-95.com/time-suck/comic-strip/marmaduke-explained http://www.29-95.com/time-suck/comic-strip/marmaduke-explain...
- hop 16y agoStrategic Agility and Innovation Management - http://www.microsoft.com/education/competencies/comp_strategicagilityandinnovationmanagement.mspx http://www.microsoft.com/education/competencies/comp_strateg... Really, Microsoft...
- tom_ilsinszki 16y agoRule #28941: When someone cracks a joke say "ha-ha-ha" out loud.
- ElbertF 16y agoIf online, post the letters L, O and L (in that order) to indicate laughter in real life. Optionally the letters X and D may be used to form a so called "emoticon", for added effect.
- eru 16y agoIf (or perhaps when) making a joke yourself, you can also use a (semi-)colon and o or dash and a closing parenthesis at the end of your sentence as a hint to the recipient who may otherwise--in the absence of body language or tone of spoken words--not notice that your utterance was meant to be humorous. However, in some circles this may be frowned up on as an insult on the readers intelligence.
- projectileboy 16y agoWow, I thought this would be ridiculous, but it's actually a pretty sharp analysis of how to effectively use humor in the workplace.
- emilis_info 16y agoSo did you find the information useful? [Yes] [No]
- thinkbohemian 16y agoDoesn't look like they have a policy on "that's what she said"
- deleted 16y ago[deleted]
- ashishbharthi 16y agoIs this their 'Intranet' accidentally published on the Web? I don't understand what is the purpose of it being up there.
- city41 16y agoIt's similar. They use the same proficiency level guidelines for many different aspects when doing employee reviews. There is also a pre-established ruling on at what level of proficiency an employee of a certain level should be at for each one. So, for example, a level 62 employee should be at level 2 humor proficiency. Level 64 should be at proficiency 3, etc. Being above the expected proficiency for your level is a factor in getting a bigger bonus. You also can't get promoted until your proficiencies are at least at the next expected level.
- mkramlich 16y agoLevel 5: Super Expert Can recognize the humor in Microsoft publishing strict guidelines documenting requirements for various "proficiency" levels in humor. Microsoft spent money doing this. Money that came ultimately from Windows license revenue. Can barely hold back tears at the thought of this.
- leif 16y ago> Can see humor in almost everything I must be an expert because this page is hilarious. Particularly the fact that they suggest learning to shoot skeet.
- cptvideo 16y agoIs this a joke?
- sz 16y agoThat's what she said.
- mooneater 16y agoIts smart. They know that the best executives will be able to use humor, anger, and a spectrum of human emotions, to further their goals.
- nandemo 16y agoThe funny thing is that some people think it's serious.
- gabrielroth 16y agoLevel one, 'Basic,' includes: "Tries to diffuse tense situations with appropriate humor." In a different row, level two, 'Intermediate,' includes: "Uses humor to boost morale or decrease tension." Similarly, level one includes "Is conscientious about timing and setting for humor," and level three, 'Advanced,' includes "Realizes when and where humor will backfire, and withholds." If this were a real skill being assessed, that kind of redundancy would be a problem. In fact, it probably wouldn't be there at all, because the person writing it would sense that something was a level-one trait or a level-three trait. But when you start down the path of bullshit like this, you find yourself in the land of arbitrariness, and pretty soon you're just desperate for some more words to fill up the boxes. And it is, indeed, bullshit. A good sense of humor is important in the workplace, as it is everywhere, but it's not something that can be assessed in some abstract way like this, separate from the person's other qualities.
- ezy 16y agoThis is depressing. How can you work for Microsoft, see that, and not be depressed? Whatever you think of the company's technology over the years, you have to wonder how old timers feel about starting a career at a software company and ending it at a company that exists solely as charity for office workers.
- klochner 16y agoI can't believe I'm the first to post this nugget: "In a seemingly serious situation, what nuggets of humor or irony can I find?"
- madmanslitany 16y agoAll I can think of right now is the Chinese room thought problem for artificial intelligence. Even if you make people laugh following these guidelines to the letter, would you have a sense of humor?
- deleted 16y ago[deleted]
- dolphenstein 16y agoThe author of that page is obviously a "Level 4: Expert" in humor.
- jjs 16y agoThis is well and good for those zany jokesters at Microsoft, but what are we to do?
- aufreak3 16y agoThis is really funny! The one who wrote this has to have an incredible "expert level" sense of humour!
- phugoid 16y agoHumor in the workplace is mostly a way to assert dominance.
- prole 16y agoFrom the article: "Learning From Bad Things That Happen Bad things happen to everyone, sometimes because of what we do and sometimes with help from us. We all have bad bosses, bad staffs, impossible and hopeless situations, impossible tasks, and unintended consequences. Aside from the trouble these bad things cause for you, the key is how can you learn from each of them. Learning From Bad Situations All of us will find ourselves in bad situations from time to time. Good intentions gone bad. Impossible tasks and goals. Hopeless projects. Even though you probably can’t perform well, the key is to at least take away some lessons and insights. Was there anything ironic, odd, or downright funny in all of this?" Hmm, the Internet Explorer team wrote this? At least they've proven their "Level 1: Basic" proficiency by being able to laugh at themselves and their hopeless predicament.