It's not that simple. These sensitivities don't come out of nowhere. People learn to communicate in different environments, and so in a new environment, they ca

It's not that simple. These sensitivities don't come out of nowhere. People learn to communicate in different environments, and so in a new environment, they can often make a lot of incorrect inferences. If someone is defensive at what you think are innocent questions, it's probably because they're used to communicating with people who only ask questions like that when they think something is wrong. In that context, trying to work out what the other person thinks is wrong and respond to it is potentially a more effective way to communicate than simply answering the question as posed. So if you encounter such a person, you can sneer and blame their inexperience if you like (and you're probably correct), but it's probably more effective to try and adapt your own communication.