Let me just emphasize that you need to get professional help. I had been dealing with some stuff and I started getting some professional help and it's amazing t

Let me just emphasize that you need to get professional help. I had been dealing with some stuff and I started getting some professional help and it's amazing the difference just dissecting your problems in a constructive environment does. As for your job situation I'd mirror what dbg31415 said. Keep your chin up. Just to make you feel a little bit better let me share what I went through when first looking for a job. I applied for 120 positions when I started and only 3 got back to me and 2 wanted to hire me. I took an internship and worked up from there. I made connections and used those to branch out.