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Just want to comment on this real quick: > Do not, under any circumstances, bitch to your friends about your personal problems. That's not what friends are fo

Just want to comment on this real quick: > Do not, under any circumstances, bitch to your friends about your personal problems. That's not what friends are for, that's what you pay a shrink for. There is some truth to this. Not everyone is equipped to help friends who are suffering from depression. Some may be too selfish, some may just not know how, and some may be dealing with too many issues of their own at the time. If one indiscriminately reaches out to "friends" for help with serious issues like this, one may come away more disappointed and discouraged than helped. However, there are people who are able to help, and sometimes one is lucky enough to have one as a friend. So I would recommend being careful which friends one reaches out to, but I would not say that one should never reach out to friends. :)

dbg31415 10y ago
Friends are too close to you, and typically buy your bullshit. When you are down, your narrative is highly skewed by your perspective. You need someone a little farther away for objectivity. Someone who realizes that anything you say is probably your shit-side talking, and has no real basis in reality. If you can't afford a shrink... or are traveling... I've found that your nearest Rabbi or Catholic Priest will generally do in a pinch. Your friends... well maybe your friends are better than mine, but since I don't know what my friends can take, and I don't want to burden them with stuff that I carry in my head. When you are depressed you aren't yourself -- not the you that your friends recognize anyway. I personally don't like showing my friends that side of me... over the years I've found that the whiney neurotic insecure blob I turn into when I'm depressed isn't able to maintain friendships and scares people away. I used to blame them, but really it's just a lot to process. Now I find it better to just segment that part of my life away from the people who care about me. I like having friends around when I'm good, and having them around helps me from slipping back into depression... but friends can't cure depression. It's gotta be a choice to not be depressed any more and take the appropriate actions... easy to conceptualize, but feels like lifting Mt. Everest when you're going through it.
- imranq 10y ago
  Also want to add to make sure to SLEEP WELL. Just as there's advice to have a waking routine, have a sleeping routine too. Sleep at a set time with no screen use for ah hour before. Additionally drink green tea and focus on a plant based diet.
  - dbg31415 10y ago
    Excellent point. I sleep in a cool room without any electronics. Every night -- when I'm up or down. I have an alarm clock, and that's it. I leave my laptop in my office, and my phone plugged into a charger in the kitchen. The body will try and heal itself, you have to give it the right resources to do that... clean food, lots of water, and plenty of sleep.
  - dvtv75 10y ago
    Don't know about the rest of it, but when I'm at my worst (and that happens a bit these days), a good solid night of sleep can work wonders. It's no substitute for professional help when you need it, but it can help get things in perspective for long enough to get the help your friends and family NEED you to get.
- alphapapa 10y ago
  I agree with you. When I needed encouragement and support the most, my closest friends did the opposite: pulled out of my life completely, one of them quite abruptly and abusively, taking some others with him. It hurt. But, since then, I have other friends who have been there for me. And there are some friends whom I have been there for, because I know what it was like. So it's not impossible. :) It's wise to be careful in choosing whom you try to lean on. Maybe it's not possible without a hard learning experience first. And it's made harder by not being in the most rational state of mind at the time.

dbg31415 10y ago

Friends are too close to you, and typically buy your bullshit. When you are down, your narrative is highly skewed by your perspective. You need someone a little farther away for objectivity. Someone who realizes that anything you say is probably your shit-side talking, and has no real basis in reality. If you can't afford a shrink... or are traveling... I've found that your nearest Rabbi or Catholic Priest will generally do in a pinch. Your friends... well maybe your friends are better than mine, but since I don't know what my friends can take, and I don't want to burden them with stuff that I carry in my head. When you are depressed you aren't yourself -- not the you that your friends recognize anyway. I personally don't like showing my friends that side of me... over the years I've found that the whiney neurotic insecure blob I turn into when I'm depressed isn't able to maintain friendships and scares people away. I used to blame them, but really it's just a lot to process. Now I find it better to just segment that part of my life away from the people who care about me. I like having friends around when I'm good, and having them around helps me from slipping back into depression... but friends can't cure depression. It's gotta be a choice to not be depressed any more and take the appropriate actions... easy to conceptualize, but feels like lifting Mt. Everest when you're going through it.

imranq 10y ago
Also want to add to make sure to SLEEP WELL. Just as there's advice to have a waking routine, have a sleeping routine too. Sleep at a set time with no screen use for ah hour before. Additionally drink green tea and focus on a plant based diet.
- dbg31415 10y ago
  Excellent point. I sleep in a cool room without any electronics. Every night -- when I'm up or down. I have an alarm clock, and that's it. I leave my laptop in my office, and my phone plugged into a charger in the kitchen. The body will try and heal itself, you have to give it the right resources to do that... clean food, lots of water, and plenty of sleep.
- dvtv75 10y ago
  Don't know about the rest of it, but when I'm at my worst (and that happens a bit these days), a good solid night of sleep can work wonders. It's no substitute for professional help when you need it, but it can help get things in perspective for long enough to get the help your friends and family NEED you to get.
alphapapa 10y ago
I agree with you. When I needed encouragement and support the most, my closest friends did the opposite: pulled out of my life completely, one of them quite abruptly and abusively, taking some others with him. It hurt. But, since then, I have other friends who have been there for me. And there are some friends whom I have been there for, because I know what it was like. So it's not impossible. :) It's wise to be careful in choosing whom you try to lean on. Maybe it's not possible without a hard learning experience first. And it's made harder by not being in the most rational state of mind at the time.