It slices, it dices, it opens cans, bottles and jars; but wait there's more; you can also use it as an axe, can your shovel do THIS, I don't think so! So call n

It slices, it dices, it opens cans, bottles and jars; but wait there's more; you can also use it as an axe, can your shovel do THIS, I don't think so! So call now, operators are standing by. Repeat above sentence with different features, repeatedly. Until someone buys every last shovel you have in stock.