4 ms·

Not sure why you are being downvoted. It may seem crass, but it is true. In the last 6-7 years I seem to have mentally and physically aged twice as much if not

Not sure why you are being downvoted. It may seem crass, but it is true. In the last 6-7 years I seem to have mentally and physically aged twice as much if not more. WE are still together but honestly, I don't think I can handle this much more to the point I'm getting depressed as well (suicide thoughts)

googletazer 10y ago
Is it worth it? Staying out of "obligation" or "guilt"?
- arghIdontwantto 10y ago
  Honestly, it isn't. But I'm waiting until I can sort somethings that are related to my kid so he doesn't have to suffer. After that, I think I'll be out, but until then, I need to 'put up' with it for his sake.
- sankae 10y ago
  I see my wife as "family." You don't abandon family. Then again I'm Asian so perhaps our sense of family is different. For example, we often treat our cousins like siblings.
  - nathan_f77 10y ago
    You should never make a blanket statement like "you don't abandon family." There are many situations where the best (and only) option is to get away. This includes both your spouse and your family. Abuse is one obvious example. I'm not saying that we should run away at the first sign of mental health issues. I just think that there are plenty of situations where it might be the right decision. It's obvious in extreme cases, but the decision will always be extremely difficult. For what it's worth, I think most people view their spouse as "family". It's hard to imagine a different arrangement.
    - nommm-nommm 10y ago
      I agree with you. My parents are very, very toxic people. I still see them a couple times a year but the best thing I ever did for myself was stop trying to have any kind relationships with them.
Sgt_Apone 10y ago
> I don't think I can handle this much more to the point I'm getting depressed as well (suicide thoughts) I'd strongly suggest telling someone how you are feeling if you have not already. I've been there myself where my significant other was having physical health issues and I was just spent emotionally, physically and financially. That discussion with my spouse and family was a big turning point for all of us for the better.
- arghIdontwantto 10y ago
  I have, for the first time in 5 years, yesterday I opened up to someone with all of this. People around me know she has 'problems' but not what I'm going through or how I feel. As for my wife, we've talked about this many times, but due to her illness, even if she tries to take the load off my back, it just doesn't work and things go back to 'normal' in a few days. I rather have this so-so state even though I'm in pain and exhausted, but at least my son doesn't suffer for it than put more responsibility on her so I can get better and have my son be the victim of it.
  - Sgt_Apone 10y ago
    That's good that you've reached out. I hope you work through it all for the better. I know it's easier said than done, but just remember to take care of yourself in whatever way that you can. Your wellbeing is always worth fighting for.

googletazer 10y ago

Is it worth it? Staying out of "obligation" or "guilt"?

arghIdontwantto 10y ago
Honestly, it isn't. But I'm waiting until I can sort somethings that are related to my kid so he doesn't have to suffer. After that, I think I'll be out, but until then, I need to 'put up' with it for his sake.
sankae 10y ago
I see my wife as "family." You don't abandon family. Then again I'm Asian so perhaps our sense of family is different. For example, we often treat our cousins like siblings.
- nathan_f77 10y ago
  You should never make a blanket statement like "you don't abandon family." There are many situations where the best (and only) option is to get away. This includes both your spouse and your family. Abuse is one obvious example. I'm not saying that we should run away at the first sign of mental health issues. I just think that there are plenty of situations where it might be the right decision. It's obvious in extreme cases, but the decision will always be extremely difficult. For what it's worth, I think most people view their spouse as "family". It's hard to imagine a different arrangement.
  - nommm-nommm 10y ago
    I agree with you. My parents are very, very toxic people. I still see them a couple times a year but the best thing I ever did for myself was stop trying to have any kind relationships with them.

Sgt_Apone 10y ago

> I don't think I can handle this much more to the point I'm getting depressed as well (suicide thoughts) I'd strongly suggest telling someone how you are feeling if you have not already. I've been there myself where my significant other was having physical health issues and I was just spent emotionally, physically and financially. That discussion with my spouse and family was a big turning point for all of us for the better.

arghIdontwantto 10y ago
I have, for the first time in 5 years, yesterday I opened up to someone with all of this. People around me know she has 'problems' but not what I'm going through or how I feel. As for my wife, we've talked about this many times, but due to her illness, even if she tries to take the load off my back, it just doesn't work and things go back to 'normal' in a few days. I rather have this so-so state even though I'm in pain and exhausted, but at least my son doesn't suffer for it than put more responsibility on her so I can get better and have my son be the victim of it.
- Sgt_Apone 10y ago
  That's good that you've reached out. I hope you work through it all for the better. I know it's easier said than done, but just remember to take care of yourself in whatever way that you can. Your wellbeing is always worth fighting for.