I somewhat understand your situation: I often thought that it would simply be easier to believe in God. I tried really hard growing up (parents both being relig

I somewhat understand your situation: I often thought that it would simply be easier to believe in God. I tried really hard growing up (parents both being religious). I thought there was something wrong with me for a while. My sister goes to church, my brother actually believes and goes. And it was in the culture after all. But nevertheless, I'm still an athiest. And weirdly, an occultist. The viewpoint I have is that it is all a mental construct - something that goes between you and your mind. So when I do "religion", in my world known greater as Chaos magick, I really only have to believe in the moment, and then get back to the real world where I don't. In a way, it is like having a backup for all the things you can't quite explain, and gives a way to focus your thoughts towards goals or having meaning behind it all and so on. Perhaps it is applied psychology. It doesn't require me to believe in dieties, but it is an option if I would choose it (I personally don't). But I only really got here by reading about a lot of different religions and things like that, along with a long period of self-realization. And that is where I think you should start. If you are under 25, I'd suggest waiting until later to make a choice, mostly because the brain is different at that time. It might not matter if you actually believe in the god, so long as the basic construct of the religion has a positive impact on your life. Maybe the community does it: maybe it yields to scientific explanation first, and so on. Much luck to you.