4 ms·

Or "friends", as they once used to be called.

by SCdF 10y ago

FroshKiller 10y ago
No, I have to disagree. Personally, I have a wide gamut of relationships at work. I'm lucky enough to work with my wife and many of my college friends, and I have several "work friends" and a work spouse. They're all quite different. I'd never describe my work spouse as a "friend."
- SCdF 10y ago
  What would the differences be to you? The article describes them as "a significant, but platonic, other whom you pair up with at the office". To me that's what a close friend is (as opposed to an acquaintance etc). I've definitely had friends like that at work, and usually only one or two at any given job.
  - FroshKiller 10y ago
    Again, I'm speaking personally, I'm aware other people have different experiences and different opinions. That said: Work is not the most important thing in my life. A friend is a person who is meaningful to me outside of work. A work friend is someone who is meaningful to me only at work. I can be friends with someone from work, but that is quite a shift that I haven't made with many people. A work spouse is someone I'm quite a bit closer to than a work friend, but that person still isn't a friend in the meaning I ascribe to the term. I talk to work friends about what movies we've seen, which browser we prefer, who has the most annoying laugh in the office, whatever. But we don't generally talk about how we expect our reviews to go, what teams we'd like to manage, etc. Conversely, I do talk about that stuff with my work wife. If I'm not sure about how best to convey that I think an assignment is a waste of time, I talk it over with her, not with the guy on the fifth floor I exchange TV show reviews with. I like my work wife quite a bit, and I value her opinions and trust her with mine, but we've never been to each other's home. We don't make plans for weekend outings. We've never seen each other drunk. She's not a friend. If she leaves the company, I probably won't keep in touch. Part of the point of a work spouse is the shared experience of the place of employment. That's why it's "work" spouse and not "professional" spouse. I could see a work spouse becoming a close friend, sure. But one doesn't imply the other.
    - SCdF 10y ago
      That's really interesting, thanks for your response.
    - hawski 10y ago
      Work-friend: friend only at work. Work-spouse: close friend only at work. Work-close-friend: work-spouse without strange connotations. Semantics - the greatest source of long discussions. EDIT: Better term: Close work-friend
      - FroshKiller 10y ago
        "Work close friend" is a clunky phrase, and most people in my experience understand "work spouse" easily.
    - emilsoman 10y ago
      Thanks for the explanation. Curious to know this - when and to whom do you usually mention this term (work-spouse). As for me, I have never had a need to use a term that represents such kind of work relationship, "a good colleague" usually conveys the message.

Or "friends", as they once used to be called.

by SCdF 10y ago

Or "friends", as they once used to be called.

No, I have to disagree. Personally, I have a wide gamut of relationships at work. I'm lucky enough to work with my wife and many of my college friends, and I have several "work friends" and a work spouse. They're all quite different. I'd never describe my work spouse as a "friend."

SCdF 10y ago
What would the differences be to you? The article describes them as "a significant, but platonic, other whom you pair up with at the office". To me that's what a close friend is (as opposed to an acquaintance etc). I've definitely had friends like that at work, and usually only one or two at any given job.
- FroshKiller 10y ago
  Again, I'm speaking personally, I'm aware other people have different experiences and different opinions. That said: Work is not the most important thing in my life. A friend is a person who is meaningful to me outside of work. A work friend is someone who is meaningful to me only at work. I can be friends with someone from work, but that is quite a shift that I haven't made with many people. A work spouse is someone I'm quite a bit closer to than a work friend, but that person still isn't a friend in the meaning I ascribe to the term. I talk to work friends about what movies we've seen, which browser we prefer, who has the most annoying laugh in the office, whatever. But we don't generally talk about how we expect our reviews to go, what teams we'd like to manage, etc. Conversely, I do talk about that stuff with my work wife. If I'm not sure about how best to convey that I think an assignment is a waste of time, I talk it over with her, not with the guy on the fifth floor I exchange TV show reviews with. I like my work wife quite a bit, and I value her opinions and trust her with mine, but we've never been to each other's home. We don't make plans for weekend outings. We've never seen each other drunk. She's not a friend. If she leaves the company, I probably won't keep in touch. Part of the point of a work spouse is the shared experience of the place of employment. That's why it's "work" spouse and not "professional" spouse. I could see a work spouse becoming a close friend, sure. But one doesn't imply the other.
  - SCdF 10y ago
    That's really interesting, thanks for your response.
  - hawski 10y ago
    Work-friend: friend only at work. Work-spouse: close friend only at work. Work-close-friend: work-spouse without strange connotations. Semantics - the greatest source of long discussions. EDIT: Better term: Close work-friend
    - FroshKiller 10y ago
      "Work close friend" is a clunky phrase, and most people in my experience understand "work spouse" easily.
  - emilsoman 10y ago
    Thanks for the explanation. Curious to know this - when and to whom do you usually mention this term (work-spouse). As for me, I have never had a need to use a term that represents such kind of work relationship, "a good colleague" usually conveys the message.