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Yes, I don't get why we need that "wife/husband/spouse" name instead of "friend" or "buddy"? Wife/husband/spouse sounds very intimate, and I don't think it's a

by kbart 10y ago

Yes, I don't get why we need that "wife/husband/spouse" name instead of "friend" or "buddy"? Wife/husband/spouse sounds very intimate, and I don't think it's a good idea to imply something intimate with your coworker (unless you really like her/him and plan to advance, but that's another problem). Also, I don't think my girlfriend would be excited either when I text her back: "oh, don't worry, I'm just having dinner with my work-wife".

FroshKiller 10y ago
I can only speak for myself, but it is a more intimate relationship than that of a work friend. "Intimate" doesn't mean "romantic." I spend much more time interacting with my work spouse than with any other co-worker. We trust each other with things we wouldn't necessarily take to other work friends, like plans for our careers. We also provide for each other: snacks, Tylenol, contact solution, a fresh pen, whatever.
- frgtpsswrdlame 10y ago
  That still just sounds like a friend...
  - pqs 10y ago
    Exactly. Friend is not a binary concept, there are many degrees of friendship.
coldnebo 10y ago
I think the term stems from hearing two of these people interact at work: "what, are you guys married or something?" "Nah, he's just my work wife".
usrusr 10y ago
It's like the trouble with design patterns: it is perfectly reasonable to assign a name to some pattern you can repeatedly observe in reality, but that does not necessarily turn them into a good guideline. Personally, I have seen the pattern quite often, but never saw a name for it until today. A "foodies group" kind of relationship, that happens to be strengthened by things that might have lead to something romantic had they met in a different context. Even the name chosen hints at it not being an overly romantic state: it skips right over date, girlfriend/boyfriend, bride/groom to the wife/husband stage which can be more like a well worn in mechanism than like an uncontrolled infatuation in many cases. It (jokingly) references marriage as in "old couple", not as in "a pact to raise children".

by kbart 10y ago

FroshKiller 10y ago

I can only speak for myself, but it is a more intimate relationship than that of a work friend. "Intimate" doesn't mean "romantic." I spend much more time interacting with my work spouse than with any other co-worker. We trust each other with things we wouldn't necessarily take to other work friends, like plans for our careers. We also provide for each other: snacks, Tylenol, contact solution, a fresh pen, whatever.

frgtpsswrdlame 10y ago
That still just sounds like a friend...
- pqs 10y ago
  Exactly. Friend is not a binary concept, there are many degrees of friendship.

coldnebo 10y ago

I think the term stems from hearing two of these people interact at work: "what, are you guys married or something?" "Nah, he's just my work wife".

usrusr 10y ago

It's like the trouble with design patterns: it is perfectly reasonable to assign a name to some pattern you can repeatedly observe in reality, but that does not necessarily turn them into a good guideline. Personally, I have seen the pattern quite often, but never saw a name for it until today. A "foodies group" kind of relationship, that happens to be strengthened by things that might have lead to something romantic had they met in a different context. Even the name chosen hints at it not being an overly romantic state: it skips right over date, girlfriend/boyfriend, bride/groom to the wife/husband stage which can be more like a well worn in mechanism than like an uncontrolled infatuation in many cases. It (jokingly) references marriage as in "old couple", not as in "a pact to raise children".