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It used to be called 'having friends.' Everything has to have a stupid new name for it now.
by mhurron 10y ago
It used to be called 'having friends.' Everything has to have a stupid new name for it now.
- kbart 10y agoYes, I don't get why we need that "wife/husband/spouse" name instead of "friend" or "buddy"? Wife/husband/spouse sounds very intimate, and I don't think it's a good idea to imply something intimate with your coworker (unless you really like her/him and plan to advance, but that's another problem). Also, I don't think my girlfriend would be excited either when I text her back: "oh, don't worry, I'm just having dinner with my work-wife".
- FroshKiller 10y agoI can only speak for myself, but it is a more intimate relationship than that of a work friend. "Intimate" doesn't mean "romantic." I spend much more time interacting with my work spouse than with any other co-worker. We trust each other with things we wouldn't necessarily take to other work friends, like plans for our careers. We also provide for each other: snacks, Tylenol, contact solution, a fresh pen, whatever.
- frgtpsswrdlame 10y agoThat still just sounds like a friend...
- pqs 10y agoExactly. Friend is not a binary concept, there are many degrees of friendship.
- coldnebo 10y agoI think the term stems from hearing two of these people interact at work: "what, are you guys married or something?" "Nah, he's just my work wife".
- usrusr 10y agoIt's like the trouble with design patterns: it is perfectly reasonable to assign a name to some pattern you can repeatedly observe in reality, but that does not necessarily turn them into a good guideline. Personally, I have seen the pattern quite often, but never saw a name for it until today. A "foodies group" kind of relationship, that happens to be strengthened by things that might have lead to something romantic had they met in a different context. Even the name chosen hints at it not being an overly romantic state: it skips right over date, girlfriend/boyfriend, bride/groom to the wife/husband stage which can be more like a well worn in mechanism than like an uncontrolled infatuation in many cases. It (jokingly) references marriage as in "old couple", not as in "a pact to raise children".
- FroshKiller 10y agoI don't consider myself friends with my work spouse, and I don't consider my friends at work to be work spouses. Thanks for describing the most accurate term for this particular real human relationship of mine as "stupid."
- namaemuta 10y agoI can't agree more with you. It's exasperating.
- pqs 10y agoThere are too many experts inventing new areas of expertise. We thought that new tech would create a world of leisure, but, on the contrary, we created a world where we work on stupid concepts. Our work world is so meaningless that people invent new and stupid concepts trying to find some meaning, and then people in need of income, become experts on these concepts, in order to sell meaningless books on meaningless subjects for people having meaningless jobs.
- jazzyk 10y agoI think the problem here is that the word 'friend' in US English means someone you know, but are not necessarily really close to (should really be described as an 'acquaintance'). People usually use 'good friend' or 'BFF' to describe actual friendship.
- mhurron 10y agoFriend has many different meanings, all depending on context. Saying that in the US it only means 'someone you're acquainted with' is simply choosing to ignore all the other uses.