4 ms·

> There was no alternative before this article. You know, you don't need an engagement ring to get married. Much less one with a shiny stone of any kind.

by aianus 10y ago

sangnoir 10y ago
> You know, you don't need an engagement ring to get married You also need a partner who wants to get married to you. Where does HN get it's perfectly compatible partners from? A difference in opinion is not unexpected - not everyone is equally pragmatic. Also,things that are considered "deal-breakers" are far from universal.
- mirimir 10y ago
  So why does only one partner get a ring? Why, typically, the female one? In same-sex marriages, how do partners determine who gets the ring? Flip a coin? Damn.
  - sangnoir 10y ago
    The answer to all your questions is: it depends on the partners and what they agree to. But on the most part, it is driven by cultural momentum - the same reason men's formal clothing includes a tie. One could equally argue "One does not need to wear a tie to go to work", but there are people who love ties and how they look wearing them.
    - mirimir 10y ago
      Ties = strangulation devices ;)
- cmdrfred 10y ago
  "Where does HN get it's perfectly compatible partners from?" Truth is women in our culture are still somewhat of a status symbol. My wife is essentially perfectly compatible with me that was achieved by not simply selecting the most physically attractive person who would marry me but instead finding someone who actually is a decent human being. Her ring cost under 50 dollars. She wants me to spend the short time we all have on earth with her, not working to buy her shiny rocks, a overvalued house or an expensive car so she can impress her friends. I wouldn't have it any other way.
  - knz 10y ago
    If people want to spend their money on a ring then I have no issue with that. Personally my wife is quite frugal about signs of material wealth (raised in a family with money that drove old Honda's etc) and had very strong opinions about not wanting an expensive ring. Instead we spent our money on a honeymoon exploring Asia and Europe - I wouldn't trade that time for any ring. Travel may be a privilege but teaches you a lot more about the world and the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
mcv 10y ago
Stoneless rings are common in other countries. Tattoos are up and coming. A bit more painful, but still cheaper than a diamond (and much more permanent).
- at-fates-hands 10y ago
  >> A bit more painful, but still cheaper than a diamond (and much more permanent). My best friend is a tattoo artist. He said the top two coverups he does are for: a. band names b. significant other initials or names He joked that its practically a harbinger of a failed relationship since most are back in his chair within 12-18 months to get them covered up.
  - mcv 10y ago
    Name or initial is not quite the same thing, I think. I don't know anyone who has names or initials as a wedding/engagement tattoo. It's usually a simple symbol, like a rune, or in my case, a Moebius ring (two sides that are one, what better wedding symbolism is there?). Although I do know one person with both a wedding and an engagement tattoo who is about to get a divorce after more than 10 years of marriage.

> There was no alternative before this article. You know, you don't need an engagement ring to get married. Much less one with a shiny stone of any kind.

by aianus 10y ago

> There was no alternative before this article. You know, you don't need an engagement ring to get married. Much less one with a shiny stone of any kind.

sangnoir 10y ago

> You know, you don't need an engagement ring to get married You also need a partner who wants to get married to you. Where does HN get it's perfectly compatible partners from? A difference in opinion is not unexpected - not everyone is equally pragmatic. Also,things that are considered "deal-breakers" are far from universal.

mirimir 10y ago
So why does only one partner get a ring? Why, typically, the female one? In same-sex marriages, how do partners determine who gets the ring? Flip a coin? Damn.
- sangnoir 10y ago
  The answer to all your questions is: it depends on the partners and what they agree to. But on the most part, it is driven by cultural momentum - the same reason men's formal clothing includes a tie. One could equally argue "One does not need to wear a tie to go to work", but there are people who love ties and how they look wearing them.
  - mirimir 10y ago
    Ties = strangulation devices ;)
cmdrfred 10y ago
"Where does HN get it's perfectly compatible partners from?" Truth is women in our culture are still somewhat of a status symbol. My wife is essentially perfectly compatible with me that was achieved by not simply selecting the most physically attractive person who would marry me but instead finding someone who actually is a decent human being. Her ring cost under 50 dollars. She wants me to spend the short time we all have on earth with her, not working to buy her shiny rocks, a overvalued house or an expensive car so she can impress her friends. I wouldn't have it any other way.
- knz 10y ago
  If people want to spend their money on a ring then I have no issue with that. Personally my wife is quite frugal about signs of material wealth (raised in a family with money that drove old Honda's etc) and had very strong opinions about not wanting an expensive ring. Instead we spent our money on a honeymoon exploring Asia and Europe - I wouldn't trade that time for any ring. Travel may be a privilege but teaches you a lot more about the world and the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

mcv 10y ago

Stoneless rings are common in other countries. Tattoos are up and coming. A bit more painful, but still cheaper than a diamond (and much more permanent).

at-fates-hands 10y ago
>> A bit more painful, but still cheaper than a diamond (and much more permanent). My best friend is a tattoo artist. He said the top two coverups he does are for: a. band names b. significant other initials or names He joked that its practically a harbinger of a failed relationship since most are back in his chair within 12-18 months to get them covered up.
- mcv 10y ago
  Name or initial is not quite the same thing, I think. I don't know anyone who has names or initials as a wedding/engagement tattoo. It's usually a simple symbol, like a rune, or in my case, a Moebius ring (two sides that are one, what better wedding symbolism is there?). Although I do know one person with both a wedding and an engagement tattoo who is about to get a divorce after more than 10 years of marriage.