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I sent this to my SO and she now wants one instead of a diamond. Until now, it's been non-negotiable. Thanks for writing. I did not want to buy a diamond :)
by ejcx 10y ago
I sent this to my SO and she now wants one instead of a diamond. Until now, it's been non-negotiable.
Thanks for writing. I did not want to buy a diamond :)
- matthewaveryusa 10y agoI gave my wife a moissanite and seeded are to-be joint saving account with the 10k we saved. You just have to remember that the burden of wearing the moissanite is on the woman. The choice is obvious but the social pressure is huge. Women love to look at other women's rings and chat about it. If she is open to the idea, just remember that she's the one being brave and breaking out of the mold more so than you :)
- Zombieball 10y ago> Women love to look at other women's rings and chat about it. If she is open to the idea, just remember that she's the one being brave and breaking out of the mold more so than you. This is a great description that captures the social pressure aspect quite well. Guys aren't the ones wearing the ring everywhere!
- _nedR 10y agoAlso most guys wouldn't care in the least about rings (unless you know it has bluetooth or zigbee or something). Agree grandparent comment truly made me understand the woman's side of thing. It's easy for men to dismiss them as being irrational. I am glad that diamond engagements aren't a thing in India. (Although in place of it we have a ton of other retarded customs). Gold is pretty much the standard here - which is actually quite practical. It makes a good liquid asset, holds its value, stays as an insurance and safety during hard times.
- hobarrera 10y ago> Guys aren't the ones wearing the ring everywhere! I believe that the bride-only thing is US-only, or (maybe) limited maybe limited to ex-british regions, but it's definitely not universal, and definitely not a thing in latinamerica (diamonds aren't a thing here either) or a great deal of europe.
- k_sze 10y agoIn Hong Kong, both the husband and the wife wear a ring. My mother lost hers, my dad is still wearing his. My wife lost hers, I'm still wearing mine. XD
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- pyrale 10y agoIt's pretty much the same in France, although social pressure has eased on that as of late. Usually the only jewel men wear is their wedding band.
- Akkuma 10y agoI'm probably odd, but I personally wouldn't be marrying anyone who "caved" to social pressures about a non-functional fashion accessory barely noticeable from anything other than up close. Thankfully, I already found someone like that.
- qb45 10y agoYes, I feel like there is a growing social pressure to resist social pressure ;)
- mavhc 10y agoDon't give in to peer pressure, none of the cool kids do
- k_sze 10y agoAre you peer pressuring them to not give into peer pressure?
- twothamendment 10y agoIt sounds a lot like my marriage advise which is "Don't listen to any marriage advise - except mine".
- saiya-jin 10y agoit's about strength of the personality - are you a conformist which tries hard to not stick out of the crowd, behaves as all the others, listens to the same stuff, thinks the same or do you forge your own way, whatever it means for you specifically? I prefer this strength in women - as it is not an isolated feature of personality. Life is too short to spend it with someone that shallow, unless that is exactly what you want/need. And yes, if it's not clear, women requesting diamond rings as statement of true love (that's just not true and won't make the relationship any better), or blabbing about 3-salary-worth of diamonds... meh, I say you can do better.
- lacampbell 10y ago> Until now, it's been non-negotiable. I really hate to be a random person on the internet giving personal advice but... diamonds being "non-negotiable" seems like a huge, glowing, neon warning sign. Don't be surprised to find out a bunch of other things are non-negotiable if you divorce.
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- Ironchefpython 10y ago> diamonds being "non-negotiable" seems like a huge, glowing, neon warning sign It's deeply ingrained in Western culture. Think about it like eating dogs. There's no rational reason not to use dogs for meat, but most Westerners would throw a hissy fit rather than eat dog meat. So don't assume the prospective bride is unreasonable. In fact, assume the opposite, as she was able to read a rational explanation of the issues with diamonds, and change her mind.
- tedunangst 10y agoHorse may be a better example. Meat from carnivores tends to concentrate more toxins, which actually is a rational reason to avoid it.