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There's a catch-22 here: you can't raise the topic of diamonds without her understanding you are thinking about marriage. And even if you've been together for y

There's a catch-22 here: you can't raise the topic of diamonds without her understanding you are thinking about marriage. And even if you've been together for years, it may just not have come up. And people are unpredictable: she may just have an irrational dream of a diamond ring. So I think the worry is justified and not necessarily a sign of insufficient marriage-maturity. But that doesn't change the advice: the only solution is talking about it.

acjohnson55 10y ago
A complete surprise proposal is a bad idea, IMO. We're talking about a (nominally) lifelong decision. In a relationship with good communication, the proposal should be a formality, because marriage has been explicitly discussed, probably many times, over the course of the relationship. It can and should still be a romantic moment and even a bit of a surprise.
klodolph 10y ago
It's only a catch-22 if you can't let her know you are thinking about marriage before you propose. Just saying that out loud it sounds like such a ridiculous idea: I might want to marry her, but I can't let her know that I'm thinking about it. You say it's not a sign of a lack of maturity, but it sounds exactly like a lack of maturity to me (an inability to communicate honestly with someone who you want to spend the rest of your life with about really basic stuff).