4 ms·

Great advice. Possibly coming from someone who doesn't have a girlfriend. :) try to give such a stone to a girl and see how amused she is gonna be. You are just

by mk89 10y ago

Great advice. Possibly coming from someone who doesn't have a girlfriend. :) try to give such a stone to a girl and see how amused she is gonna be. You are just gonna sound "cheap". Diamonds are a status, not a beautiful stone. edit: I see many downvotes. Guys, seriously, was it for me, I would buy nothing. It's just how this world works. You can express your anger by downvoting me, I'll be fine, but please don't fall into this belief that diamonds are just a stone. They are unfortunately just a status, like brands...

crazypyro 10y ago
Or you could try having a conversation about it before making the actual decision. It's going to vary from person to person...
dudul 10y ago
If your girlfriend dumps you because you're not spending $5,000 on a diamond ($5,000 that could be invested for your future house, baby, etc) then you should probably celebrate.
- deleted 10y ago
  [deleted]
klodolph 10y ago
Yes, this discussion reappears every time diamonds are mentioned on HN. Pretty brilliant marketing campaign by De Beers, though, that somebody will think you're "cheap" if you don't buy a big enough diamond that somebody dug out of the ground. In the end it's just a conversation between people who say, "You can't just ignore these social conventions" and people who say "these social conventions are stupid, find someone who isn't so shallow." If you think everyone falls into one camp or the other, however, then you have a lot to learn.
- digitaltrees 10y ago
  Here is the article that talks about the De Beers marketing plan that created the concept of a diamond engagement ring. http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how-an-ad-campaign-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/ http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how...
icantdrive55 10y ago
Yea, I know what you mean, but times are changing. Diamonds will eventually be the Fox, or Mink coat. It's not quite there yet though. There are some enlightened people out there, and then there's the Kardashian. You don't want a Kardashian. They have an expiration date. If you think I'm being sexist; I mean Rob. Yes, the boy who has the personal chef, and cries about his weight. (I like the kid, but I knew I would get blowback. So covered my statement with an easy target.)
bing_dai 10y ago
I am a woman in a happy, long term relationship. I have issues with your assumption about "girls". I told my boyfriend not to give me a diamond because every aspect of what diamond actually embodies goes against my value. There are certainly women who adore diamonds, but not every woman does.
- ftrflyr 10y ago
  Will you please speak to my GF! I am afraid we have different values and any time the ring conversation comes up, it ends in an argument. The last argument ended in her telling me that we shouldn't talk about it anymore.
  - tirant 10y ago
    Then you have an issue on the values you have, and willing to spend the rest of your life together with someone that doesn't share those same values. You should really have an open conversation about that and weight the implications of it. It can slowly build up to an unavoidable obstacle for the relationship.
onion2k 10y ago
If it's great advice from your perspective as a man then surely it's also great advice from the perspective of any woman who thinks the same way you do. Women have as much interest in the ethics of the things that they wear and the value (which isn't just the price) of things that their partner buys as any man does. Plus, to be honest, I imagine if you gave a woman the choice between an engagement ring that cost $6000 and a much cheaper engagement ring that their boyfriend spent 6 months finding, most would choose the ring that their boyfriend spent time thinking about and choosing. Women have as much money as men do for buying status symbols; when it comes to an engagement ring they're looking for something that mere money can't buy.
andai 10y ago
Hope you don't mind I ride off the bottom comment ;) I came here to post that the article misses the point! As you said, diamond rings are about the status. They are a signal, first and foremost. It's like expensive cars and (dare I say) Apple products: the wastefulness is an indicator of wealth, just like the peacock's massive tail is wasteful: it is expensive to grow and detrimental to its ability to escape predators. So, as dimino suggested, I would spend the same amount... but I'd spend it on Moissanite ;)
ionised 10y ago
You have bad taste in women it seems.

by mk89 10y ago

crazypyro 10y ago

Or you could try having a conversation about it before making the actual decision. It's going to vary from person to person...

dudul 10y ago

If your girlfriend dumps you because you're not spending $5,000 on a diamond ($5,000 that could be invested for your future house, baby, etc) then you should probably celebrate.

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]

klodolph 10y ago

Yes, this discussion reappears every time diamonds are mentioned on HN. Pretty brilliant marketing campaign by De Beers, though, that somebody will think you're "cheap" if you don't buy a big enough diamond that somebody dug out of the ground. In the end it's just a conversation between people who say, "You can't just ignore these social conventions" and people who say "these social conventions are stupid, find someone who isn't so shallow." If you think everyone falls into one camp or the other, however, then you have a lot to learn.

digitaltrees 10y ago
Here is the article that talks about the De Beers marketing plan that created the concept of a diamond engagement ring. http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how-an-ad-campaign-invented-the-diamond-engagement-ring/385376/ http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2015/02/how...

icantdrive55 10y ago

Yea, I know what you mean, but times are changing. Diamonds will eventually be the Fox, or Mink coat. It's not quite there yet though. There are some enlightened people out there, and then there's the Kardashian. You don't want a Kardashian. They have an expiration date. If you think I'm being sexist; I mean Rob. Yes, the boy who has the personal chef, and cries about his weight. (I like the kid, but I knew I would get blowback. So covered my statement with an easy target.)

bing_dai 10y ago

I am a woman in a happy, long term relationship. I have issues with your assumption about "girls". I told my boyfriend not to give me a diamond because every aspect of what diamond actually embodies goes against my value. There are certainly women who adore diamonds, but not every woman does.

ftrflyr 10y ago
Will you please speak to my GF! I am afraid we have different values and any time the ring conversation comes up, it ends in an argument. The last argument ended in her telling me that we shouldn't talk about it anymore.
- tirant 10y ago
  Then you have an issue on the values you have, and willing to spend the rest of your life together with someone that doesn't share those same values. You should really have an open conversation about that and weight the implications of it. It can slowly build up to an unavoidable obstacle for the relationship.

onion2k 10y ago

If it's great advice from your perspective as a man then surely it's also great advice from the perspective of any woman who thinks the same way you do. Women have as much interest in the ethics of the things that they wear and the value (which isn't just the price) of things that their partner buys as any man does. Plus, to be honest, I imagine if you gave a woman the choice between an engagement ring that cost $6000 and a much cheaper engagement ring that their boyfriend spent 6 months finding, most would choose the ring that their boyfriend spent time thinking about and choosing. Women have as much money as men do for buying status symbols; when it comes to an engagement ring they're looking for something that mere money can't buy.

andai 10y ago

Hope you don't mind I ride off the bottom comment ;) I came here to post that the article misses the point! As you said, diamond rings are about the status. They are a signal, first and foremost. It's like expensive cars and (dare I say) Apple products: the wastefulness is an indicator of wealth, just like the peacock's massive tail is wasteful: it is expensive to grow and detrimental to its ability to escape predators. So, as dimino suggested, I would spend the same amount... but I'd spend it on Moissanite ;)

ionised 10y ago

You have bad taste in women it seems.