As an overachiever, I got this done in my 20s. It's in my 30s that I've begun to reverse course when I didn't even have casual friends left in meatspace. > We

As an overachiever, I got this done in my 20s. It's in my 30s that I've begun to reverse course when I didn't even have casual friends left in meatspace. > We should hang out! This isn't actionable. It's a statement about how it's such a shame the universe doesn't conspire to make you accidentally hang out with each other. And I agree it is a shame - however, fortunately, one can make do without such contrivances! > Wanna do X on Y? This is actionable. It's the switch of passive to active in the social relationship. It's strange and weird, way outside of my comfort zone, and I do so awkwardly and nervously - but it works! Sure, they notice I'm awkward and nervous - they just don't care. Or if they do, it's a sign I don't want to hang out with them anyways. Realizing this - not just on an intellectual level, but actually internalizing that logic - makes it surprisingly bearable to be awkward and nervous. Busy lives do mean the answer is often "I can't make it". But sometimes they can, and sometimes it's yes to "Hey, want me to send you a text the next time we're thinking about doing X?" - I'll take the answer to this at face value. Some people might only be available 10% of the time, but it's good to see them when they do. And sometimes they'll suggest a different time - and hey, that might work too. Few I know will go that far to merely feign polite interest - they no longer have time for that. I consider myself rather deeply introverted, and yet I'm playing the role of the social butterfly in causing things to happen in my circles, if only occasionally. It's very strange. I should start dating again at some point. Don't ask me how one works such strange and powerful magic. Baby steps...