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All I can say is that, based only on the comment (I don't know you at all, of course) you may be missing out on literally the best things in life. I don't think

All I can say is that, based only on the comment (I don't know you at all, of course) you may be missing out on literally the best things in life. I don't think I've seen a long-term relationship that matches your description, I haven't read an expert describe them that way, and I don't think it would be healthy or tenable. Sex drives, for example, diminish as people age; and IME relationships primarily focused on sex don't last to become long-term ones. Another way of looking at it is that long-term relationships with prostitutes would fit your description. Sex is great and valuable; it's probably necessary at certain points in the relationship; but it's certainly not sufficient or the most important thing. Love, intimacy and human bonding are far more rewarding and valuable (and all enhanced by positive sex). As another easy example, beyond a doubt anyone I know with kids would give up sex before they gave up their child; it wouldn't be a close decision - it would be offensive to suggest otherwise to them. EDIT: I omitted a very valuable reason for long term relationships: To have someone to care for, for whom you matter. I believe research (and plenty of anecdotal examples) shows that, lacking this benefit, isolated people feel like they don't really exist.

77pt77 10y ago
All I'm stating is that all romantic relationships start with sexual attraction. Otherwise they are friendships. The two are different concepts. They can and many times overlap, but don't have to. The conflation of these two concepts is a recent phenomenon and far from universal (far less common in the far east and in the so called underdeveloped world where survival is difficult) > Another way of looking at it is that long-term relationships with prostitutes would fit your description. There's not much data on that but I remember vividly reading an academic study that interviewed many prostitutes and cases where regular "clients" used their services for more than 2 decades while racking several divorces in that time where common. I was really surprised at the time. Maybe friends disappearing (like the article states) leads those men (in that study it was only male "clients") to pay to have a permanent human element in their lives.
- coldtea 10y ago
  >All I'm stating is that all romantic relationships start with sexual attraction. You'd be surprised, but the qualifier "romantic" messes up with clearly addressing this (since it presupposes sexuality). Marriage in most cultures have been more about the economic and companionship part than about sexuality up until recently. Heck, marriages were mostly arranged in most cultures until the last 1-2 centuries... After all you can "play" around without getting married too, no need to marry for that.
  - colx 10y ago
    Marriage used to be mainly economic. If anything the friendship was at best a third reason.

77pt77 10y ago

All I'm stating is that all romantic relationships start with sexual attraction. Otherwise they are friendships. The two are different concepts. They can and many times overlap, but don't have to. The conflation of these two concepts is a recent phenomenon and far from universal (far less common in the far east and in the so called underdeveloped world where survival is difficult) > Another way of looking at it is that long-term relationships with prostitutes would fit your description. There's not much data on that but I remember vividly reading an academic study that interviewed many prostitutes and cases where regular "clients" used their services for more than 2 decades while racking several divorces in that time where common. I was really surprised at the time. Maybe friends disappearing (like the article states) leads those men (in that study it was only male "clients") to pay to have a permanent human element in their lives.

coldtea 10y ago
>All I'm stating is that all romantic relationships start with sexual attraction. You'd be surprised, but the qualifier "romantic" messes up with clearly addressing this (since it presupposes sexuality). Marriage in most cultures have been more about the economic and companionship part than about sexuality up until recently. Heck, marriages were mostly arranged in most cultures until the last 1-2 centuries... After all you can "play" around without getting married too, no need to marry for that.
- colx 10y ago
  Marriage used to be mainly economic. If anything the friendship was at best a third reason.