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At least for me, I've found that in order to maintain friendships I need to see the person at least once per month. (Go get drinks or something.) If it goes mor
by sndean 10y ago
At least for me, I've found that in order to maintain friendships I need to see the person at least once per month. (Go get drinks or something.) If it goes more than a few months, then we pretty much stop talking.
Is that ~1 month timeframe normal? Just curious what other people think.
Looking back, recently, there's been a few friends where I say to myself "I really should've hung out with them that weekend," because now we're not talking..
- cesarbs 10y agoOne of my best friends lives across the world in the southern hemisphere. Another lives across the Atlantic in Europe. Some weeks we chat online almost every day. But sometimes we'll go 2-3 months without communicating at all. When we touch base again, the friendship seems as great as ever. To me those are the best kind of friends :)
- thex10 10y agoI don't know if it's 'normal', but I share the feeling. My timeframe might be shorter. It's my opinion that the more extreme manifestation of this need for frequent contact arises from a lack of emotional object constancy[0]. Unfortunately I've found no strategic way out so far... > This is because of my ineptness at maintaining object constancy. I always struggle to feel loved by a person unless they are in the process of demonstrating it to me - I just can't feel it unless I'm seeing it, touching it, or hearing it. Otherwise I feel totally disconnected, and potentially abandoned. [1] [0] thoughtsfromj8.com/2015/01/15/object-constancy-adult-version/ [1] bpdbunny.blogspot.com/2013/01/bpd-object-constancy-or-why-i-love.html?m=1