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Author here. Thanks for all the comments, I'm surprised to see so much interest here on Hacker News. I figured this would be one of my posts that collected dust

Author here. Thanks for all the comments, I'm surprised to see so much interest here on Hacker News. I figured this would be one of my posts that collected dust. For the record, my way out of this happened to be psychological, but that doesn't mean I'm against medication. It just didn't happen to be my experience, so I can't comment on it. I try to avoid topics I don't know anything about.

upstarter 10y ago
Reading through the suggestions here, I would suggest, if you're in a really deep hole, combine as much as you can from "all of the above".
- swimorsinka 10y ago
  Agreed. At this point, I use meditation, exercise, omega 3 supplementation, and therapy all in addition to the mental attitudes I discussed.
  - Broken_Hippo 10y ago
    I've an odd question for you: How did you wind up sticking with meditation? What made you notice that it helped and how long did that take? I generally quit after 2-3 months. At first it is kind of nice, but as time goes, I become a bit frustrated and bored. I don't notice a difference in myself, and I always wonder if it isn't just that I don't know what I should be looking for. I'm mostly asking to get your personal perspective on it, in the hopes that I might identify with it.
    - swimorsinka 10y ago
      I'm careful about suggesting meditation to my friends because I think it's different for everybody. For me, I've always had high anxiety. OCD is essentially anxiety when you boil it down to its core. That means I carry around a great deal of stress, sometimes to the point where I can feel it in my stomach all day every day. 3-5 days of meditation makes this feeling go away. I've seen studies that show your cortisol drops after 3-5 days of doing it for 20-30 mins a day. So to answer your question: I notice it a lot when I stop. I still fall off on the habit periodically, but I see the benefits shortly after I start again. Some of the benefits for me: * Less Stress. * I make better eye contact with people because I'm not anxiously looking away. * I listen to my employees (and everyone) better because I'm not so tempted to interrupt them when they're speaking. * My body feels better - any pain or injuries I have get better. * My focus during the workday is dramatically improved. I don't get distracted nearly as easily. But for someone who has less natural anxiety, I can imagine not having as many benefits. So use the classic test: if it helps you, keep doing it. If you don't see any benefit, then don't bother. Don't do it just because you think you ::should::.
      - itschekkers 10y ago
        Sorry to hear about your experience, but I'm glad you have found ways of managing symptoms. Like you say, people absolutely do respond differently to different medications. I'm a researcher at Yale, and we've been developing algorithms to figure out which antidepressant is most likely to help a specific patient. We've published some papers, and made our algorithm available online through our startup (www.spring.care/spring-assessment). If you find it helpful, please do send us feedback!! hello at spring dot care
    - artifaxx 10y ago
      I find that yoga classes that integrate meditation (such as hatha) tend to work better. It also forces you to sit and work through it for at least an hour. Here is a page to get started with the evidence: http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/yoga-for-anxiety-and-depression http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/yoga-for-anxiety...
josscrowcroft 10y ago
I enjoyed your post, great and very real writing. Thank you for publishing.
stbn 10y ago
Thank you for publishing this. The mere notion that there's other people dealing with similar problems helps easing the pain, maybe because one feels understood for a change, to some extent at least. In fact, I found your piece so valuable that I created an offline copy to keep. And I think all the reactions in this thread are just substitutional for a multitude of readers; you never know how many lives you have actually touched. Even writing this ridicilous comment needed to be overcome because depression feels like such a shameful thing to admit.
morbidhawk 10y ago
Thanks for sharing your experience. My set of problems are different but I noticed my experience has been somewhat similar to yours. I'm working in therapy on acceptance and recognizing the internal shaming that came about because of my upbringing. The frustrating part is that my relationship with my wife (who suffers from borderline personality disorder) makes it extremely difficult when she is fighting the new me that is emerging. She needs constant reassurance about going better places in the future and doesn't like that I'm starting to be ok with the present. The other day I tried to get something done but couldn't since she needed to talk for 6 hours on her day off work and the talk wasn't going the way she liked so it escalated and she got suicidal. She keeps arguing with me to go to a big tech company and make enough money so she never has to work and can be at home with the kids all the time but she's been a stay at home mom before and it ends up being her sitting at home stewing with anger and neglecting the kids and the house. It's hard to make real progress when it is met with so much resistance by loved ones

upstarter 10y ago

Reading through the suggestions here, I would suggest, if you're in a really deep hole, combine as much as you can from "all of the above".

swimorsinka 10y ago
Agreed. At this point, I use meditation, exercise, omega 3 supplementation, and therapy all in addition to the mental attitudes I discussed.
- Broken_Hippo 10y ago
  I've an odd question for you: How did you wind up sticking with meditation? What made you notice that it helped and how long did that take? I generally quit after 2-3 months. At first it is kind of nice, but as time goes, I become a bit frustrated and bored. I don't notice a difference in myself, and I always wonder if it isn't just that I don't know what I should be looking for. I'm mostly asking to get your personal perspective on it, in the hopes that I might identify with it.
  - swimorsinka 10y ago
    I'm careful about suggesting meditation to my friends because I think it's different for everybody. For me, I've always had high anxiety. OCD is essentially anxiety when you boil it down to its core. That means I carry around a great deal of stress, sometimes to the point where I can feel it in my stomach all day every day. 3-5 days of meditation makes this feeling go away. I've seen studies that show your cortisol drops after 3-5 days of doing it for 20-30 mins a day. So to answer your question: I notice it a lot when I stop. I still fall off on the habit periodically, but I see the benefits shortly after I start again. Some of the benefits for me: * Less Stress. * I make better eye contact with people because I'm not anxiously looking away. * I listen to my employees (and everyone) better because I'm not so tempted to interrupt them when they're speaking. * My body feels better - any pain or injuries I have get better. * My focus during the workday is dramatically improved. I don't get distracted nearly as easily. But for someone who has less natural anxiety, I can imagine not having as many benefits. So use the classic test: if it helps you, keep doing it. If you don't see any benefit, then don't bother. Don't do it just because you think you ::should::.
    - itschekkers 10y ago
      Sorry to hear about your experience, but I'm glad you have found ways of managing symptoms. Like you say, people absolutely do respond differently to different medications. I'm a researcher at Yale, and we've been developing algorithms to figure out which antidepressant is most likely to help a specific patient. We've published some papers, and made our algorithm available online through our startup (www.spring.care/spring-assessment). If you find it helpful, please do send us feedback!! hello at spring dot care
  - artifaxx 10y ago
    I find that yoga classes that integrate meditation (such as hatha) tend to work better. It also forces you to sit and work through it for at least an hour. Here is a page to get started with the evidence: http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/yoga-for-anxiety-and-depression http://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/yoga-for-anxiety...

josscrowcroft 10y ago

I enjoyed your post, great and very real writing. Thank you for publishing.

stbn 10y ago

Thank you for publishing this. The mere notion that there's other people dealing with similar problems helps easing the pain, maybe because one feels understood for a change, to some extent at least. In fact, I found your piece so valuable that I created an offline copy to keep. And I think all the reactions in this thread are just substitutional for a multitude of readers; you never know how many lives you have actually touched. Even writing this ridicilous comment needed to be overcome because depression feels like such a shameful thing to admit.

morbidhawk 10y ago

Thanks for sharing your experience. My set of problems are different but I noticed my experience has been somewhat similar to yours. I'm working in therapy on acceptance and recognizing the internal shaming that came about because of my upbringing. The frustrating part is that my relationship with my wife (who suffers from borderline personality disorder) makes it extremely difficult when she is fighting the new me that is emerging. She needs constant reassurance about going better places in the future and doesn't like that I'm starting to be ok with the present. The other day I tried to get something done but couldn't since she needed to talk for 6 hours on her day off work and the talk wasn't going the way she liked so it escalated and she got suicidal. She keeps arguing with me to go to a big tech company and make enough money so she never has to work and can be at home with the kids all the time but she's been a stay at home mom before and it ends up being her sitting at home stewing with anger and neglecting the kids and the house. It's hard to make real progress when it is met with so much resistance by loved ones