It could be OCD, or it could be the downfall of most young men (many of whom I'm friends with) when they leave tech companies in bay area to strike out on their

It could be OCD, or it could be the downfall of most young men (many of whom I'm friends with) when they leave tech companies in bay area to strike out on their own: "for fame and fortune". Thats your problem. You need to do it because you are passionate about the problem you are trying to solve and genuinely interested in the work you do. You were frustrated with the rest of your life because you were looking for it to supplement your job, because you werent excited about it for the right reasons. It's not just a problem with you, so many high level VCs are sick and tired of seeing really smart engineers come up with ideas that clutter the system with another food delivery service or the "next facebook". When you are aiming for fame and fortune, youre aiming to emulate people who have already come up with original ideas, instead of focusing on your own originality. That's why the bay area is filled with so many "me too" ideas while the rest of the world has multi billion dollar low hanging fruit begging to be worked on. Because they exist in neighborhoods that arent cool or hip, that do not resonate fame or fortune, when it is precisely when you leave the things you are trying to emulate that you find what you are looking for.