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One Road Out of Depression
- deleted 10y ago[deleted]
- vocatan 10y agoLooks like we melted it -- or the server got depressed.
- craftkiller 10y agohttps://twitter.com/sadserver https://twitter.com/sadserver
- chenshuiluke 10y agoI honestly couldn't finish reading it because the article was so long-winded.
- Jtsummers 10y agoFor others: It took me less than ten minutes to read, and is worth it if you want a well-written, insightful article on both OCD and depression.
- nzjrs 10y agoReally. I have suffered in my life, this didn't resonate with me at all. Quoting Mr. Robot and Blink 182....
- Jtsummers 10y agoMeh, I didn't really read the quotes. The biographical elements certainly fit with my own experience of depression and (minor, not as severe as his) OCD.
- RankingMember 10y agoI agree they didn't add anything to the article, but if you ignore them I think it's a worthwhile read.
- unknownzero 10y agoIt's an article more or less about his personal experience with Depression and OCD, on his personal blog, where he mentions several times angsty/sad songs were his escape, especially in his teens. It seems silly to pick apart who he quotes to me.
- bjoveski 10y agocache: https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:BycZQaCJ5pkJ:https://thinkfaster.co/2016/10/one-road-out-of-depression/+&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk https://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:BycZQa...
- petercooper 10y agoMy "road out" was having kids and taking on a lot of responsibility (both family and business). It's worked for 7 years now and I've never felt happier and mentally healthy, even if I am super busy and under a lot of pressure :-) I never thought I'd be the sort of person to thrive on pressure but it turns out I am.
- Jtsummers 10y agoI think many people do who don't realize it. There's a balance, certainly, and having a cause that you care about helps a great deal. Pressure from a job that just feels like a grind can leave you feeling stressed and unessential (why do we need yet another widget?!?). Pressure in supporting people you care about (family, friends), a country, a cause (ending hunger, eliminating a disease, etc.), and so on can leave you feeling stress, certainly, but also a sense of having a purpose.
- agumonkey 10y agoI believe the switch from half excitement born and half imposed-but-accepted pressure from childhood regime toward the adult kind of pressure is hard to feel, understand and accept at first. The universe seems to be about pressures and waves, I wouldn't be surprised if our minds needs it too.
- webmaven 10y agoPressure is a fine motivator (we all know people who do their best work when under a tight deadline), but only if you are capable of being realistic about the consequences of failure (and attribution of blame). If you raise the stakes enough for almost anyone (or they are of a mindset to ratchet those stakes up for themselves) it can be paralyzing, unless the consequences of not making a decision are somehow worse. In some ways, SV-style celebration of failure is great, but if you're fixated on a "Unicorn or Bust" (or even an "FU money or Bust") career path, well, having a few "busts" in a row (which is a fairly likely outcome, even if you have both a good idea and execution) might just kill you. In this sense, choosing a cause to have a sense of purpose may be a terrible option for some folks to pursue, since the consequences of not solving it completely are still dire - eg. don't choose to work on solving the World Hunger Problem if, having eliminated 90% of the problem in five years, you are going to blame yourself for the less tractable remaining 10% that still die of malnutrition and hunger.
- kidager 10y agohttps://i.imgur.com/YJAiSyF.png https://i.imgur.com/YJAiSyF.png
- yk 10y agoThat's accidentally pretty bleak.
- agumonkey 10y agoMight trigger a long walk in nature, which is one with the highest ROI to alleviate depressive states.
- chris_wot 10y agoFor me, it's less a problem with the database and more a problem with the connection. Not to mention the fact that I am no longer able to seek professional help for suicidal thoughts. Those, they come unbidden, and I will never be able to be honest or open about it again.
- elcct 10y agoThere is actually one simple trick to get out of the depression - just cheer up!
- Jtsummers 10y agoThat's not accurate at all, and if you're intending a joke based on the article misrepresents its contents.
- elcct 10y agoThere another simple trick - don't be so serious :-)
- dangraziano 10y agoThis server error is making me a little emotional.
- arthur2e5 10y agoMade an archive in case it fails again: https://archive.fo/Vyz09 https://archive.fo/Vyz09 (https://archive.fo/20161108171830/https://thinkfaster.co/2016/10/one-road-out-of-depression/ https://archive.fo/20161108171830/https://thinkfaster.co/201...) P.S. Someone took a snapshot of that error 2 hours ago.
- jackhack 10y agoA resource for tech workers struggling with depression: https://forums.osmihelp.org/ https://forums.osmihelp.org/ (the former DevPressed.com ) "We are a non-profit org (just applied for 501c3) that works to improve mental wellness in the tech industry."
- icantdrive55 10y agoMy Psychiatrist has been telling me, for over two decades, "All my patients are different." It's one of his better stock answers to questions. I have never been truely suicidial, but I had, I guess, a panic attack in my twenties, and from the next day on I was a nervous emotional mess for years. I tried to go back to a professional school I was in, but just crossing the Richmond bridge was a feat in itself. I knew my life would never be the same. Looking back--I'm not sure that was a terrible thing? I spent my savings(financial aid, and dirty money) on Therapy. I got introduced to the right Psychiatrist--I think? (Yes--try to avoid drugs if you can.) It's ironic he brought up M. Scott Peck's Book. The Road Less Traveled. It was required reading in a college speech class. Yea, I think the professor decided to become a Healer? The book has a great first paragraph. Maybe the best I have ever heard. 'Life is difficult--why not work hard in school, or work, and become someone with a great life', or something along those lines. Then he goes into the second half of the book, 'If you can't disprove the existence of a god, why not embrace religion.' I read the book, but I was trying my best in life. I was doing the hard work. I was doing what they(society) told me to do. I was young, idealistic, and wired pretty tight. I believed I could do anything, and up to my breakdown, I could. I was one of the more capable persons everwhere I went. Then I busted a gasket. And I was a trembling mess. I needed two 375 ml bottles of wine, just to get through the door of a chitty/easy job. I was a dizzy mess all day. I've been in about a year of therapy, been on >10 drugs. Looked into four Psychiatrists faces. What worked? The more addictive drugs helped a bit. Exercise helped. I didn't have a problem with a higher power, but that higher power didn't help me, even on a Placebo level. The biggest factor in my healing was time. And yes--we don't have much time, but it's the only thing I can look back on with confidence. I hear about people committing suicide, and I always think they didn't give it enough time. And yes, sometimes it's years, but Everyone is Different. It might be a few months until you don't feel like your in that cloud of misery? It's usually just a few weeks though. Mine was unusual according to a professional. I have a theory, and it's just geared towards Americans, because I've never been anywhere else. It's this: We are so conditioned to be great; we push ourselves too hard. We take on too much stress in our twenties/thirties, and the brain which is basically geared(evolutionary) to procreate, and eat--sometimes just breaks down, and we get OCD, depression, anxiety, etc. Most of you will be able to work towards having everything, but some of us will break down. I really don't have any advice, other than don't beat yourself up. Work, or to school, but don't work youself sick. Don't try to have everything right out of high school, or college. It's just so hard to have everything in life. By the way, most people don't have everything. Everyone I know is missing something. There's the person with the great job, and can buy anything, but is all alone. And the reverse. We're all kinda misserable. My heart goes out to anyone in agony. Just please give it time.
- alexashka 10y agoCliff notes: guy raised in a family of over-achievers, worked himself to the bone while never taking the time to grow up emotionally, hoping achievement would fill the gap. It didn't, he had to face that fact and now that he's let go of the false hopes of success fixing his life - he's slowly but surely getting his shit together and is very glad to be doing so. Perhaps the one thing missing from this article is how common this is - I see it all the time, in all walks of life. You have to address whatever is really bothering you, sooner or later. The more you put it off and try to band-aid it, the harder it will be later on. A quote that I really liked related to this is - a year from now, you'll wish you had started today. That resonated with me.
- agumonkey 10y agoI too got stuck into a restricted life path because that was a very plausible and effective life drive (the neverending good student). Until it stopped. Gotta realign your priorities (emotional, familial and social balance) and it's surprisingly difficult for a while. It's hard to avoid over specification in life, it's a natural reflex to aim at what seems and feels the best, thinking the rest, scary and annoying has no value whatsoever. I write this very very often nowadays. I'm sad that our cultures completely ignores such things, and itself too, optimizes for other indicators (economy, foo) while so many people spend years in life confusion because simple things aren't said earlier.
- deltawave 10y agoDo you or somebody else have an idea on where I could explore this idea further, in terms of books, websites etc…? Having semi-recently graduated University and moved out on my own, I am having quite a few personal issues related to an achievement-obsession that I have been socialized into but which is holding me back from much day-to-day happiness.
- agumonkey 10y agoNo, I never researched this, mostly because I had to cope with too many little problems to really deal with things calmly and I don't even know if there's a term or idiom about this. I mentioned it a few times on the web and you're the first to actually discuss it. At least you seem to be aware of it and ready to reflect.
- drzaiusapelord 10y agoMy road out, even though its still rocky as my treatments are not perfect, is getting checked for sleep apnea and getting treated for it. I wonder how many depressed people have an undiagnosed sleep disorder. Its incredible what just one or two nights of poor sleep quality can do to a person, let alone years.
- at-fates-hands 10y agoMy "road out" was pretty severe. I had to move on from my social group who were not healthy (some of my closet friends at the time), I stopped drinking and partying entirely, I started working out, and started to plan out my goals for the next two years. I completely closed ranks on my life - which was a major decision and started from scratch again. Probably the hardest decision I've ever made. Two years of being clinically depressed and I felt like I needed to jump start my life again. It wasn't easy, but in the long run it's been well worth it.
- agumonkey 10y ago> I had to move on from my social group who were not healthy (some of my closet friends at the time), I stopped drinking and partying entirely, I started working out, and started to plan out my goals for the next two years. I suppose you mean closest. Even though closet could explain depression too. It's far from easy to express yourself [1] in your traditional circles when the inner self distance is very large. I spent lots of years following the average persons because I couldn't really accept my own desires. [1] This comment has a lot of homosexual subtext, but it's only half pun, I believe they're a good extrapolation for having to deal with lives they didn't want but are force fed on them. Anybody who doesn't listen and accept himself ends up in the same situation.
- at-fates-hands 10y agoyeap one "s" can change the whole meaning right? Thanks for the good laugh this afternoon.
- patrickdavey 10y agoWhen I got Depressed (capital D, though I was only 4 on a 10 point scale) the hardest part for me was accepting that I needed to take medication, that I couldn't WILL myself better (not for want of trying I can tell you). Maybe some people can think themselves better, but if you are properly depressed, and your doctor is suggesting medication, it's not failing/losing/lessening to take the drugs to correct a chemical imbalance. And stay on them until you're supposed to come off (not when you begin to feel better), as the last thing you want is to ping-pong between highs & lows. Of course, fix the underlying issue (if there is one) when you can (i.e. see a psychologist and get proper instruction), but you want to get to a stable place first. This is just my comment, a sample size of 1, but if it helps anyone else reading through this, so much the better.
- Swizec 10y agoI don't know what I was on the scale, but at some point the only thing keeping me aluve was the fear of inflicting a traumatic experience on my 8 years younger sister. Making an 8 year old discover her dead brother would be just a shitty thing to do. The obly thing that finally helped, even after meds (I think) didn't do much, was a very solid "Fuck this, I don't want this anymore" and willing myself out of it by forcing myself to become a workoholic. It gave me interesting things to do and kept me distracted from the ultimate pointlessnes of it all. Eventually the pointlessnes became my greatest asset. If nothing matters, then you can do anything right? Why give a shit about how a thing turns out, just try. My psychiatrist at the time said that the meds gave me space to will myself out of it but who knows. I'm sure it went hand in hand. On the other hand, it's been 13-ish years and too much leisure time still gets me sliding back towards a pit of despair. I'm probably not cured at all, just coping, and I'm likely to have to continue coping forever. Like a former drug addict or alcoholic.
- Broken_Hippo 10y agoIn a way, I think your doctor was correct. The meds change the way you see life - supposedly - even if you didn't actually feel better. My unprofessional opinion is that LSD and other hallucinogens function about the same way - gets you out of your mindset enough so that your perspective is different when you get back in.
- rapjs 10y agoGreat article. Currently fighting to claw out of my own depression.
- adamc 10y agoFrom personal experience: I recommend considering both a psychiatrist (medication) and a therapist (works on your thinking patterns. Both help a lot. Depending on the depth of your depression, you might be able to get by with just the therapist, but in my case, both help.
- drhayes9 10y agoI finally realized I was depressed when I couldn't remember a time I wasn't angry. I didn't know that constant irritation and low-level anger are also depression symptoms. I remembered trouble sleeping and no energy and sadness, but "anger" was new to me. When I started getting pissed at other drivers and couldn't be patient with my son, my wife said, "Are you okay?" I wasn't. I was depressed. I started taking medication and I slowly got better. I still had a lot of the mental habits of depression ("How long has it been since I've showered?" and "Why aren't I telling my friends what I'm going through?") but I worked on those. And I asked for help, from everyone who loved me. And they helped a lot. Who knew! ( =
- da02 10y agoHow old was your son and what were the things that he did that made you impatient with him? He didn't want to do homework or chores?
- drhayes9 10y agoHe was three, and was mostly just being a toddler: he would get grumpy, get frustrated and yell when he couldn't do things, was making us tell him stuff dozens of times, over and over. My responses felt reasonable at the time. Why wouldn't I get angry at him when he yelled at me? Oh, right, he's a toddler and I'm an adult. I've been in the saddle with respect to my emotions for decades. This could, no fooling, only be the 200th time he's ever been truly angry. I'm the responsible one here. Realizing I lost sight of that perspective was what took me by surprise and scared me a little.
- adamc 10y agoJust wanted to say thanks for this. Was feeling a little down, and this was just the ray of light I needed.
- costcopizza 10y agoThe "chemical imbalance" theory has been losing steam for quite some time. The British Psychological Society has issued this consensus statement: There is actually no evidence for the current view – and we agree with many senior psychiatrists in saying that – we do have an overwhelming amount of evidence that even severe psychiatric breakdown is actually the end result of a complex mix of social and psychological circumstances. People who have suffered things like bereavement, loss, discrimination, poverty, trauma, abuse, domestic violence, in other words things that have happened to you. From my experience, and many others, we have a script running in the background of our minds. Nonstop. This script is brutal, telling us we're worthless, unable to do this, will always be alone, etc etc. It gets etched in our mind and we become it, and likely impacts all aspects of our brain chemistry. (Depressed patients are often deficient in many key areas Omega 3, Magnesium, Vitamin B, etc) https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-depression-just-bad-chemistry/ https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/is-depression-jus...
- mistermann 10y agoWait, so are you saying it is or is not a chemical imbalance?
- tbrownaw 10y agoIt exists at a different level of abstraction. There might be a correlation, but there's no simple causation (or at least, not going in that direction).
- costcopizza 10y agoI think depression is a beast with many intersecting roads. The chemical imbalance seems like it could be more the result of something than the root cause.
- marxidad 10y agoEven if that is the case, if the root cause is just some triggering event, then the chemical imbalance can still remain even if the cause is no longer present.
- Briel 10y agoI used to replay the same negative thoughts as well. Here's how I broke free: Reframe all your negative thoughts. I used to obsess about past mistakes. Thought: "I wish I didn't do that." Reframe: "If I didn't do that, I wouldn't have learned that lesson to be the person I am today. Or in the position I am today." Stop worrying about problems that haven't even materialized yet and very likely never will. We waste tons of mental energy worrying about problems that never happen. If you don't believe me, make a list of all you worries about near future events. Wait a week and see how many of them actually happen. You'll find 99% didn't. This one was the hardest to put into practice: be kind to yourself. A lot of people believe that if you stop criticizing yourself, you won't learn. You won't improve. You'll become arrogant. When you criticize yourself, you actually make it even harder to learn from your experiences / actions. Why? Because when we feel badly, we're not very productive about forming ideas on how to change and putting them into action. Instead, we seek distractions (sometimes really unhealthy ones) to try to make ourselves feel better. When you do something that leads to a negative outcome for you, preventing that negative outcome from happening again is enough motivation to change in of itself. You don't need to make yourself feel bad to learn and change.
- deleted 10y ago[deleted]
- kayman 10y agoThis is the basis of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy). Rewrite the negative loops of thought with constructive ones.
- mercer 10y agoAnd, further 'down' there's zen buddhism. I've had very good experiences with CBT, but as a fan of zen buddhism, on some level I couldn't help but wonder if CBT sometimes still emphasizes/reifies 'thoughts' a bit too much. Perhaps CBT is effective precisely because it's a kind of middle-ground. It's hard to describe, but CBT sometimes felt like bug-fixing when perhaps refactoring the whole thing was in order. But then again in my daily life I regularly face the difficulty of choosing between fixing bugs and rewriting the whole thing, and I haven't found an easy answer. Try one, and if it doesn't work try the other?
- rickdale 10y agoI am going to suggest something that is not usually suggested. But I have seen it work wonders. Find a place where it is legal, and grow marijuana. If it suits you, smoke it, but ultimately start a garden and grow the plant. People refer to the medicinal values of marijuana, but the one fact that is scientifically proven that is often left out is that having a garden and working in a garden is good for your mental health. That is not speculation. This part is speculation. I believe a marijuana is the perfect plant to grow if you are fighting depression. First off, potentially you can harvest every 60-70 days. That means every single day you have to take care of the plants, but every day they grow significantly. Problems one day are disasters the next and if you can just stick to it every day, there's a harvest which can be rewarding monetarily or just intrinsically. If you are really good at it, you will find out that you are actually helping a bunch of people with all sorts of medical conditions. So the reward is comes fast, and then you can start again! Also, one more point, the grow lights can be another form of light therapy. I have journaled about this stuff in the past, this is just a brief overview of my feelings of the hidden benefits of cannabis. Like the title states, this is just One Road and often the one less traveled...
- rmwaite 10y agoJust want to say, this is terrible advice. If only because marijuana is illegal in most states. I can buy the gardening advice, but I would suggest something legal.
- rickdale 10y agoNot true. 25 States and DC currently have medical marijuana laws AND more to come after today. http://medicalmarijuana.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourceID=000881 http://medicalmarijuana.procon.org/view.resource.php?resourc...
- elcct 10y agoThis law is only to serve interest of politicians, corporations and cartels.
- Mz 10y agoFYI: It is still illegal at the federal level. This is causing all kinds of headaches for people growing it legally as part of a medical marijuana business (such as difficulty getting a bank account). So, this advice is not good advice anywhere in the US.
- usmeteora 10y agoIt could be OCD, or it could be the downfall of most young men (many of whom I'm friends with) when they leave tech companies in bay area to strike out on their own: "for fame and fortune". Thats your problem. You need to do it because you are passionate about the problem you are trying to solve and genuinely interested in the work you do. You were frustrated with the rest of your life because you were looking for it to supplement your job, because you werent excited about it for the right reasons. It's not just a problem with you, so many high level VCs are sick and tired of seeing really smart engineers come up with ideas that clutter the system with another food delivery service or the "next facebook". When you are aiming for fame and fortune, youre aiming to emulate people who have already come up with original ideas, instead of focusing on your own originality. That's why the bay area is filled with so many "me too" ideas while the rest of the world has multi billion dollar low hanging fruit begging to be worked on. Because they exist in neighborhoods that arent cool or hip, that do not resonate fame or fortune, when it is precisely when you leave the things you are trying to emulate that you find what you are looking for.
- wdewind 10y ago> the rest of the world has multi billion dollar low hanging fruit begging to be worked on go on...
- thisisforyou 10y agoThis article: (https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201510/the-important-difference-between-sadness-and-depression https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/20151...) seems relevant to the posted article, as well as some of the comments here.
- hackaflocka 10y agoWhen I was unhappy I was always unhappy (eventually). Whether it was by myself or with other people. Smallco or Bigco. IMHO, 5 things are essential. Everything else is secondary: - Sleep / resting the body-mind - Exercise / moving the body - Meditation / moving the mind - Nutrition / feeding the body-mind - Access to high quality internet on a high quality computer with a good electricity network
- elsurudo 10y agoI realize this is subjective to you, but one of these is not like the others, as they say. Care to explain?
- upstarter 10y agoI was able to drop anti-depressants with 1 super-well-prepared LSD experience in nature. Since then, I do meditation daily, up to 1.5 hours at most (Jon Kabat-Zinn's mindful meditation method). Plus, I redo LSD once every 6 months. This worked extremely well. The pharma industry hates me for saying that. Not sorry.
- ythl 10y ago> with 1 super-well-prepared LSD experience in nature Please tell me you didn't run naked into a jungle
- pmoriarty 10y agoNutrition for me has been a big one. I've only very gradually realised the enormous impact my diet has had on my mood and cognition in general. Sure, I've heard a million times before that a good diet, sleep[1], and exercise[2] have a great impact on one's mood and brain function. And if I was ever challenged on it, I would have said that I believed it. But I never acted like I believed in it, until I actually started to change and improve each of these areas and felt the impact for myself. So for anyone suffering depression (or other mental/cognitive issues), I strongly recommend you take a very thorough and serious look at what you're eating, and consider the possibility that you might be deficient in some nutrients that are good for you or maybe getting too many that are bad for you. Nutritional advice is unfortunately all over the place, and it's very difficult to find any kind of consensus on what's actually good and what's bad. Fortunately, you can simply experiment on yourself, and try various things that are widely regarded as "healthy" and see how they affect you (just thoroughly do your research first and be safe!). Doing this does take motivation, something very depressed people don't tend to have much of. So in whatever way works for you, you have to first get motivated enough to seriously want to make a change and do the hard work it takes to get there. Perhaps that way is medication[3] or therapy[4]. Once you have the real motivation to change, the really hard work begins. In my case, all my life I had verious allergies which kept me from eating certain foods which I later found out were really critical for brain function. In addition, I was a really picky eater, and didn't like to eat a lot of food which was good for me. That made it worse. Even worse yet, I didn't take my diet seriously, and ate lots of things which I knew were bad for me and on top of that didn't have a very varied diet. All of that eventually caught up to me, and I suffered from a variety of medical conditions which I'm discovering are diet-related. I'm slowly making positive changes and am seeing impressive results. I'm still nowhere near where I want to be with my mental and physical health. But both are improving and I've finally gotten interested in diet and nutrition, investigating them, and am taking them seriously. Thanks to improvements in nutrition, my mood has improved a lot, I am more motivated, and have a lot more energy than I used to. My physical health is improving also. As I eat more nutritiously, I hope to see even more benefits in the long run. Some other tips which, I think, have saved my life over the years: The most important one is the ability to gain perspective. A lot of depressed people tend to get stuck in a sort of tunnel vision and magnify their problems all out of proportion, thinking that theirs are the most important, only, and worst problems in the world. I believe my study of philosophy, psychology, religion, history, my experience in living abroad, and interest in the fate, outlook and suffering of others has repeatedly helped me to realize that my problems really aren't so bad when compared to those of a lot of other people throughout the world and through history. Over and over again I've seen that it can always be worse, and in many ways even in my worst and darkest days, I'm very, very fortunate. At the same time I recognize that my pain is real, and can be very severe. But it will end. This leads to the next point. Over the decades of my life, I've had many run-ins with depression. When I was young, it often felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel, that the depression would never end, and that there was no way out. But eventually it did get better. This cycle has repeated many times for me now, but now I have evidence from my own experience that it always gets better. Time does heal all wounds. So now when I get depressed, I try to remind myself of that and try to keep perspective. I try to just make it to the next day. I've found that meditation helps. It can help with mental and physical pain, and sometimes helps me to break out of of a cycle of feeling sorry for myself and dwelling on the past. But at the same time, I don't believe it nor any of the other techniques here are a complete answer, as they can be a way of avoiding dealing with important issues, which should be dealt with in therapy. Journaling helps. I've often felt a lot of relief by writing down what I've been feeling or thinking -- things that I had a hard time admitting to others. More recently, I've started using a portable voice recorder to just talk in to about the things that are on my mind, and do so much faster and more freely than I can write. That's helped a lot. There was a time when I was in therapy that I kept a dream journal, and analysed my dreams with the help of the therapist. I can definitely recommend that as a way of gaining insight in to one's own mind.[5] Talking with someone on a crisis hotline can help, but shouldn't be used as a substitute for therapy.. more as an emergency measure. On the other hand, if you're not in therapy and have no one to talk to, it can definitely be a lot better than nothing. Also, I try not to dwell on the past, and rather look to the future. I try to learn the lessons that are there to learn from the past, and then move on. Looking to the past with the aid of a therapist, however, can be very constructive, and I consider that to be quite different and a lot better than simply going in an endless loop over the same events in the past on your own, without making progress and without learning anything. It's that latter, unconstructive type of dwelling on the past that I try to avoid. I try to be happy with myself, enjoy my own company, spend a lot of time pursuing my own interests, and seeking out new ones. This helps to deal with boredom, low self esteem, and loneliness, which have at times been major contributing factors to my depression. Helping others can be a great way to get out of your own problems, to recognize how bad others have it, to feel solidarity with them, and to feel positive about making a difference and being needed. I can definitely recommend volunteering as a way to help oneself feel better in all sorts of ways. Finally, what's helped me a lot is to keep busy with something (like work and/or hobbies). I don't think this is ultimately super constructive, especially if you keep busy at the cost of introspection and really facing your demons and dealing with aspects of your life you really have to deal with. But it can very effectively keep depression at bay -- at least it has done so repeatedly for me.. until I burn out and am forced to take a reassessment of my life and deal with the issues I've been putting off. So I only reluctantly mention it here. The best, I think, is to keep busy with something that's really fulfilling and is really in line with your highest ethics, goals, and motivations. I haven't found my way to that yet. [1] - Sleep is super important, and I try to get as much as possible because I instantly see the effect on my mood and my mind when I get little or bad quality sleep for a long time. Getting enough sleep (ideally about 10 hours for me) is very difficult when working in tech, at most jobs, and I see sleep deprivation as one of the major downsides of working in this profession. [2] - I've experienced great improvement in my mood when regularly doing intensive exercise, like strength training and aerobic exercise. Unfortunately, I've not able to make a long-term habit of it. It's worked for me in the past, though, and I intend to get back in to it soon. [3] - I generally see antidepressants as emotional bandaids -- they can temporarily stop the bleeding, but won't treat the underlying illness. They can also have some very serious side effects. One person I knew had their emotions dulled permanently by antidepressants. Another underwent serious negative personality changes while taking them. There have been many reports of even more serious side effects, including worsening depression and suicide. [4] - I'm a great believer in therapy. But there's no guarantee that any particular therapy or therapist will work. It may be necessary to try a lot of different ones until you find the one that works for you. Effective therapy can also take a lot of motivation and commitment to do the hard work on your part for the therapy to work. A lot of people think that therapy is like having a tooth pulled -- you sit there and the doctor does all the hard work. But that's not how it works. You are the one that has to do the hard work. The therapist just facilitates, guides, and helps you along the way. [5] - Whether dreams have significance and what that significance is is controversial. Some people think they are just random or meaningless, just reflect what's happened in the day, or are just a way your mind has of processing experience and reinforcing memories, but I think they have a deeper meaning and are a way for the subconscious part of your mind to communicate with the conscious part (a Jungian view). I could write another very long post just on dreams, but I'll spare you. If you're interested, read up on the Jungian view of dreams, and that's close to my view. Jungian therapy in general is the type I prefer, though I have some problems with it -- in particular, I'm not very big on all the myth stuff. But apart from that, I find it to be the most insightful and beneficial type of therapy for me.
- crispweed 10y agoI experienced some depression, as a teenager, and remember eventually finding a kind of 'logical' (or perhaps 'philosophical') way out of it. A key part of this was that, for me, depression is linked to lack of purpose. So there was this question hanging over me, 'what is the purpose of it all'. Well the answer to that question was then essentially 'why are you asking?'. Putting it less glibly, if you are unhappy about your life, and need some purpose, then introspection about your unhappiness (exactly what are you unhappy about?) can be a way to find for yourself a kind of implied purpose. And then, another part of it was the realisation that depression can actually make you more powerful, in some ways. To explain this a bit more, if you find yourself in a state where you are not so much able to be motivated by simple desires, then you are also not constrained by them. So, you are able to do do/achieve things that you might not normally be able to do, because you would get bored, for example, or be distracted by the need to do things that make you happy. And I kind of liked the idea, and aesthetic, of 'just getting your head down and moving stolidly forward'. And, 'if you can't find something to do that will make you happy or interested, maybe you are then free to do something that is right'.
- M_Grey 10y agoI just want to add a cautionary note, which is that sometimes introspection isn't the solution, but the problem itself. Especially in the case of a combination of depression and anxiety, it may be that introspection drops you further down the rabbit hole, when the way out is to do not think.
- jayjay71 10y agoObviously this is a complex issue, but in general I've found introspective people are the saddest. People that live in the moment are often the happiest. http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3501 http://www.smbc-comics.com/?id=3501
- crispweed 10y agoFair point. But on the other hand, not exploring the root cause of a problem can be like papering over the cracks..
- manmal 10y agoThere's lots of good advice here already - let me add one, for the supplement lovers: Find a good probiotic and run with it for a few months. You might feel some benefits for mood after only a couple days. I've tried a lot of supplements in the last few years (any kind of vitamin, and some broadest-band multivitamins, even methylation stuff like Methyl-B12, Folate, active B6) - but the only ones that really made an impact were probiotics. My favorite probiotics are Mutaflor and Prescript Assist, both costing ~€1 per day - but they are so worth it. Call me a lunatic, but they affect my mood in different ways. Mutaflor makes me grateful for things, and P.A. gives me focus and a sense of purpose in life.
- perfectfire 10y agoIt looks like Mutaflor isn't available outside Canada.
- manmal 10y agoOr Europe, in my case (mainly in Germany.. it was actually prescribed to Hitler, so long has it been around). The FDA banned it, I'm reading right now. That sucks.
- swimorsinka 10y agoAuthor here. Thanks for all the comments, I'm surprised to see so much interest here on Hacker News. I figured this would be one of my posts that collected dust. For the record, my way out of this happened to be psychological, but that doesn't mean I'm against medication. It just didn't happen to be my experience, so I can't comment on it. I try to avoid topics I don't know anything about.
- upstarter 10y agoReading through the suggestions here, I would suggest, if you're in a really deep hole, combine as much as you can from "all of the above".
- swimorsinka 10y agoAgreed. At this point, I use meditation, exercise, omega 3 supplementation, and therapy all in addition to the mental attitudes I discussed.
- Broken_Hippo 10y agoI've an odd question for you: How did you wind up sticking with meditation? What made you notice that it helped and how long did that take? I generally quit after 2-3 months. At first it is kind of nice, but as time goes, I become a bit frustrated and bored. I don't notice a difference in myself, and I always wonder if it isn't just that I don't know what I should be looking for. I'm mostly asking to get your personal perspective on it, in the hopes that I might identify with it.
- swimorsinka 10y agoI'm careful about suggesting meditation to my friends because I think it's different for everybody. For me, I've always had high anxiety. OCD is essentially anxiety when you boil it down to its core. That means I carry around a great deal of stress, sometimes to the point where I can feel it in my stomach all day every day. 3-5 days of meditation makes this feeling go away. I've seen studies that show your cortisol drops after 3-5 days of doing it for 20-30 mins a day. So to answer your question: I notice it a lot when I stop. I still fall off on the habit periodically, but I see the benefits shortly after I start again. Some of the benefits for me: * Less Stress. * I make better eye contact with people because I'm not anxiously looking away. * I listen to my employees (and everyone) better because I'm not so tempted to interrupt them when they're speaking. * My body feels better - any pain or injuries I have get better. * My focus during the workday is dramatically improved. I don't get distracted nearly as easily. But for someone who has less natural anxiety, I can imagine not having as many benefits. So use the classic test: if it helps you, keep doing it. If you don't see any benefit, then don't bother. Don't do it just because you think you ::should::.
- blahster23213 10y agoWell, I mean, it's too late for many. A lot of folks are only a few years away from a heart attack and have nothing to live for. You've let down everyone and your dreams haven't come true.
- zodPod 10y agoAre you my mind?
- safini 10y agoI don't see any way out :(
- safini 10y agoI don't see any way out :(
- ilikerashers 10y agoGreat piece. Be happy on your own terms, not ycombinators and startup marketing siren songs. The smartest among us are often the most vulnerable.
- rl3 10y agoTrying to work on a startup when your emotional gas tank is on empty is basically a cruel paradox. Doing anything productive is virtually impossible when you're consumed with self-hatred. By the same token, starting a startup because you have nothing to lose is generally a terrible idea, because the aforementioned tank is already empty before you even begin. Road trips seldom succeed when you have to push the entire way. While the author didn't make the latter mistake per se, his situation sounds more akin to having embarked upon a road trip with a single tank of gas, and no gas stations along the route.
- stevens32 10y agoThat sense of entitlement really makes it worse - the feeling that things should be better for you but they aren't and it wasn't even your fault. Rosebush Inside by Sean Hayes helped put things into perspective for me when I was probably very lost.