>This is why, I think, shyness cures itself as we move through life (for many if not most people). We come to realise that a) we don't matter as much as we thin

>This is why, I think, shyness cures itself as we move through life (for many if not most people). We come to realise that a) we don't matter as much as we think to the other person, and b) sharing our thoughts and feelings helps other people connect to us. That depends heavily on how much you think and feel like the people around you. While it's true that for most people your conclusions are correct, for others it has the opposite effect. If your thought and feelings are significantly different from those of the people around you, the result is utter rejection, not connection. This could still be a good idea if you have the means to move around until you find others that are like you, but it's a very bad road for those who don't. At that point though, it's not shyness, but being reserved because they know society would reject them. See homosexuals in conservative societies, being conservative in some SV companies, having very different religious beliefs from those around you, and so on. This is why I'd say that shyness is the delta between how someone thinks their openness will be perceived by the average stranger vs reality. If most people would find you essentially likable, you are shy. If instead you would be looked down upon, rejected, or feared, you are not shy: you just know you live in enemy territory. This means why we can approach shyness with reason. My son, 7, is extremely shy: He is a good person and very good looking, so we work on getting him to realize that he just doesn't have bad interactions when he is open with strangers: His radar is just not accurate, and we just get to slowly teach him how far off his predictions are. I am not that fortunate, and yet , I realize that still, I am lucky because I can appear to be shy. There are people that are rejected for something that they can't hide, like skin color, a speech impediment, or a major physical deformity. We can't say that someone that wants to avoid an area because they would get attention by the police just by their looks is just shy.