> Everything I try feels messy and strange, leading me to a lot of frustration. It appears you've learned to program but have not yet learned to learn. Like le

> Everything I try feels messy and strange, leading me to a lot of frustration. It appears you've learned to program but have not yet learned to learn. Like learning to do anything new, you start with minimum viable product. Let it be messy, buggy with edge cases, etc, just be completely persistent until it works and then build from there. Then do it again and you'll do it better and faster. You MUST persist. Don't worry about using anti patterns. I know this is somewhat controversial, but in the beginning shipping with antipatterns is better than someone who gave up. Besides, a diligent engineer spends their lifetime perfecting their craft. I say this because when I was learning I was completely debilitated by fear of doing it "wrong" and setting myself up for failure in the future. If you're actually interested in becoming a better engineer this simply will not be true. Lastly I leave you with a quote: Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. [Calvin Coolidge]