5 ms·
"I have not set foot in a grocery store in years. Nevermore will I bumble through endless confusing aisles like a pack-donkey searching for feed while the smell
by jayess 10y ago
"I have not set foot in a grocery store in years. Nevermore will I bumble through endless confusing aisles like a pack-donkey searching for feed while the smell of rotting flesh fills my nostrils and fluorescent lights sear my eyeballs and sappy love songs torture my ears. Grocery shopping is a multisensory living nightmare."
This kind of writing is insufferable.
- awj 10y agoYou just have to read it in the voice of a stage actor clearly overdoing it on a dramatic soliloquy. Not sure if you're into comedians, but Paul F. Tompkins does this pretty frequently and well. That said, it's still insufferable, just mildly entertaining as well.
- kelseydh 10y agoThis reminds me of the "Rails is Omakase" video ripping on DHH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E99FnoYqoII https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E99FnoYqoII
- paavokoya 10y agoNot everyone wants to read through life like Nathan Lane.
- webmaven 10y agoOr Jon Lovitz. "Acting!"
- GFK_of_xmaspast 10y agoIt doesn't even have decent scansion tho.
- yolesaber 10y agoMy favorite is when he talks about his enlightened post-kitchen lifestyle. "I think it was a bit presumptuous for the architect to assume I wanted a kitchen with my apartment and make me pay for it. My home is a place of peace. I don’t want to live with red hot heating elements and razor sharp knives. That sounds like a torture chamber." Did this dude just leave the stove on all the time and keep the knives pointed up next to the fridge or something?
- n72 10y agoYeah, so presumptuous of the architect to assume he'd want a kitchen. I'll bet this architect also dared to assume he'd want a toilet.
- klipt 10y agoNow included with Soylent: antimatter suppositories! Never use the toilet again!
- chillingeffect 10y agoI think when we get intensely focused and emotionally invested, we tend to think our work is the answer to the world's problems and every other way of doing things is flawed. For instance, Sergey Brin claiming Google Glass would prevent the "emasculating" effect of smart phones....[1] [1] http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/28/tech/innovation/brin-google-glass/index.html http://www.cnn.com/2013/02/28/tech/innovation/brin-google-gl...
- CPLX 10y agoLooks clear now however that opting for the toilet was a prescient move.
- monochromatic 10y agoGood Lord. Anybody using the word "nevermore" outside of a discussion of Poe is 99% likely to be someone I won't get along with.
- krick 10y agoHey, and when writers of newyorker.com do it, it is called "fantastic journalism"…
- n72 10y agoYou seriously can't dustinguish between his writing and that of in the New Yorker?