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"And I guarantee that none of these hundreds of thousands of exceptional cases ever had a parent that read some special book. Perhaps there is a pattern to how

"And I guarantee that none of these hundreds of thousands of exceptional cases ever had a parent that read some special book. Perhaps there is a pattern to how they were raised. If so, that empirical data is long lost to history." While I agree that you should read "with a pinch of salt", that's true for anything you read. But the sentiment that you oughtn't read anything is a bit overstated, it seems. Why? One would (theoretically) avoid engaging a massive project without understanding the fundamentals of project design / development. Nor ought we, say, start a home renovation project without understanding the basics of construction. While one could certainly _end up_ successfully completing one's objectives, there's a hefty 'dumb tax' to be paid without learning from the mistakes of others. Child rearing is no different. We don't magically know how to raise children. Some of us are lucky in having had good models in our parents. But even in that instance, a broader basis of knowledge is helpful because your children aren't your parent's children. Certainly one can go overboard. And certainly some parents latch on to cargo cult science as if it were holy writ. But one can also go too far in the other direction and not read anything.

DanielBMarkham 19y ago
I was being somewhat rhetorical. But only somewhat. Your statement that "We don't magically know how to raise children" I find to be very interesting. How then, do we learn how to raise children? Certainly parenting is indeed built into the species, as it is in every other species. I would not go so far as to ban any learning at all, only to understand that there is a financial motive in people giving you advice from self-help books. New parents are nervous, worried about doing the right thing. This is exactly as it should be. In response to this worry the free market provides us with lots of "security blankets" in the form of books and advice to make us feel like we have nothing to worry about. The odd side-effect to this is that people reading different books feel the _other_ people are all full of tripe. Let the baby cry. Don't let the baby cry. Spank the kid. Don't ever spank the kid! Nurture children. Teach children self-reliance. Discipline. Self-exploration. These are somewhat contradictory to say the least. Here's an idea: when presented with lots of self-contradictory information, look at nature. Nature is neither good nor bad, nor is it necessarily optimized for modern life. But it certainly has worked for eons. Must be something of value going on in there. In fact, I lean towards trusting genetic learning over self-promotion any day. My opinion only. YMMV. Do not operate heavy machinery while raising your child.

DanielBMarkham 19y ago

I was being somewhat rhetorical. But only somewhat. Your statement that "We don't magically know how to raise children" I find to be very interesting. How then, do we learn how to raise children? Certainly parenting is indeed built into the species, as it is in every other species. I would not go so far as to ban any learning at all, only to understand that there is a financial motive in people giving you advice from self-help books. New parents are nervous, worried about doing the right thing. This is exactly as it should be. In response to this worry the free market provides us with lots of "security blankets" in the form of books and advice to make us feel like we have nothing to worry about. The odd side-effect to this is that people reading different books feel the _other_ people are all full of tripe. Let the baby cry. Don't let the baby cry. Spank the kid. Don't ever spank the kid! Nurture children. Teach children self-reliance. Discipline. Self-exploration. These are somewhat contradictory to say the least. Here's an idea: when presented with lots of self-contradictory information, look at nature. Nature is neither good nor bad, nor is it necessarily optimized for modern life. But it certainly has worked for eons. Must be something of value going on in there. In fact, I lean towards trusting genetic learning over self-promotion any day. My opinion only. YMMV. Do not operate heavy machinery while raising your child.