6 ms·

Well said, employee 107 at Google, he must be wealthy by now. I got someone in my office that does those kind of exercises etc. I highly respect him, but as yo

by muse900 10y ago

Well said, employee 107 at Google, he must be wealthy by now. I got someone in my office that does those kind of exercises etc. I highly respect him, but as you said he has a kid and he has loads of things in his mind etc. Believe me once a car rental company charged him extra money for something and all the mindfulness and exercises went out of the window, he was unhappy by it and he seemed unhappy for a few days. While money is not everything and you can most certainly be happy without them, being able to provide what you deem necessary to your family is the most important thing.

sliverstorm 10y ago
Literally starving is a problem, as is being homeless. But the hedonic treadmill is real, and people's notions of what is necessary tend to scale with income. Being rich isn't, by itself, the key.
- toomuchtodo 10y ago
  Happiness is feeling useful/having purpose (autonomy, mastery, purpose) [1], meeting your basic needs (~$75K/year research shows [2]), and spending time with friends and loved ones [3] [4]. [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc [2] http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019628,00.html http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019628... [3] https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-fiv... [4] http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/happiness_is_being_socially_connected http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/happi...
  - davidjnelson 10y ago
    Good stuff, but 75k seems awfully low when houses cost 2MM.
    - toomuchtodo 10y ago
      Doesn't apply to some real estate locale outliers.
  - shostack 10y ago
    Is there a difference between whether that income (which obviously would need to be adjusted for different areas) comes from a single job you can't afford to quit vs say, passive investment income where you don't feel pressure to stay with a bad boss or something else? Those seem like big distinctions.
drzaiusapelord 10y ago
>and he seemed unhappy for a few days. This. There's a real dark side to this 'feel good' culture. I've been into meditation for quite some time and it really does make you much more entitled. You get complacent with low stress and it becomes your new norm. When that new norm gets broken its very jarring and you realize you have less control of your emotions than you assumed. Apparantly, this stuff is like a muscle. If you don't use it, you lose it. Meanwhile the guys who deal with shit all day don't get fazed as much. Of course the car company screwed up, they almost always do, and the people who work there are barely above working at McDonalds. Having lowered expectations and a low regard for others seem to be the real way toward contentment in the modern world. Sure, that sounds cruel, but its probably true. We just hired a new guy straight out of school to help out in IT and he's just easily stressed, surprised, and sometimes borderline livid at how bad some of our staff are and how terrible some of our vendors are. Life's different in college as college is something of a meritocracy. The office world and 'real life' are a non-stop shitshow of dishonesty, laziness, entitlement, rip-offs, and incompetence most of the time. You learn to live with it and things like meditation and positive thinking don't really help, especially if your tradition empathizes the 'goodness' in others. Thats simply is a disservice to you. People tend to follow a simple game theory-like strategy in life. They aren't going to be your pals and have your best interests in mind. They will have their own best interests in mind and a lot of times that means being shitty or lazy at their job. No 'happiness guru' is going to change that. I used to think I could live without cynicism (or perhaps Stoicism) and with always thinking the best of the other person, but it just made me like your friend. A bit drugged up via my own practice and being unable to handle real life, real stress, and real everyday people.
- knz 10y ago
  I think this is why the idea of teaching resiliency to children seems to have had a resurgence. It's hardly a new concept and I wonder if it's blowback from the stereotypes that are pushed onto millennials (coddled and entitled) as they now represent the child raising demographic.
  - almostarockstar 10y ago
    How is resiliency being thought to children? Genuine question. Is there a particular school of thought on this?
albemuth 10y ago
Serenity now, insanity later.

by muse900 10y ago

sliverstorm 10y ago

Literally starving is a problem, as is being homeless. But the hedonic treadmill is real, and people's notions of what is necessary tend to scale with income. Being rich isn't, by itself, the key.

toomuchtodo 10y ago
Happiness is feeling useful/having purpose (autonomy, mastery, purpose) [1], meeting your basic needs (~$75K/year research shows [2]), and spending time with friends and loved ones [3] [4]. [1] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u6XAPnuFjJc [2] http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019628,00.html http://content.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2019628... [3] https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-five-regrets-of-the-dying https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/feb/01/top-fiv... [4] http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/happiness_is_being_socially_connected http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/raising_happiness/post/happi...
- davidjnelson 10y ago
  Good stuff, but 75k seems awfully low when houses cost 2MM.
  - toomuchtodo 10y ago
    Doesn't apply to some real estate locale outliers.
- shostack 10y ago
  Is there a difference between whether that income (which obviously would need to be adjusted for different areas) comes from a single job you can't afford to quit vs say, passive investment income where you don't feel pressure to stay with a bad boss or something else? Those seem like big distinctions.

drzaiusapelord 10y ago

>and he seemed unhappy for a few days. This. There's a real dark side to this 'feel good' culture. I've been into meditation for quite some time and it really does make you much more entitled. You get complacent with low stress and it becomes your new norm. When that new norm gets broken its very jarring and you realize you have less control of your emotions than you assumed. Apparantly, this stuff is like a muscle. If you don't use it, you lose it. Meanwhile the guys who deal with shit all day don't get fazed as much. Of course the car company screwed up, they almost always do, and the people who work there are barely above working at McDonalds. Having lowered expectations and a low regard for others seem to be the real way toward contentment in the modern world. Sure, that sounds cruel, but its probably true. We just hired a new guy straight out of school to help out in IT and he's just easily stressed, surprised, and sometimes borderline livid at how bad some of our staff are and how terrible some of our vendors are. Life's different in college as college is something of a meritocracy. The office world and 'real life' are a non-stop shitshow of dishonesty, laziness, entitlement, rip-offs, and incompetence most of the time. You learn to live with it and things like meditation and positive thinking don't really help, especially if your tradition empathizes the 'goodness' in others. Thats simply is a disservice to you. People tend to follow a simple game theory-like strategy in life. They aren't going to be your pals and have your best interests in mind. They will have their own best interests in mind and a lot of times that means being shitty or lazy at their job. No 'happiness guru' is going to change that. I used to think I could live without cynicism (or perhaps Stoicism) and with always thinking the best of the other person, but it just made me like your friend. A bit drugged up via my own practice and being unable to handle real life, real stress, and real everyday people.

knz 10y ago
I think this is why the idea of teaching resiliency to children seems to have had a resurgence. It's hardly a new concept and I wonder if it's blowback from the stereotypes that are pushed onto millennials (coddled and entitled) as they now represent the child raising demographic.
- almostarockstar 10y ago
  How is resiliency being thought to children? Genuine question. Is there a particular school of thought on this?

albemuth 10y ago

Serenity now, insanity later.