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The idea of savoring experiences is a good start. An even better technique is when your brain isn't otherwise occupied, actively look for things around you to

The idea of savoring experiences is a good start. An even better technique is when your brain isn't otherwise occupied, actively look for things around you to appreciate or enjoy. Most miserable people's default behavior is to look for things to criticize, get angry over, be annoyed with, etc.

asciihacker 10y ago
> The idea of savoring experiences is a good start. Sort of. But real Buddhist mindfulness would call that 'savoring' craving. Nirvana lies in lack of attachment to the rise and fall of phenomena, not savoring the rise.
- CuriouslyC 10y ago
  That's really just a function of how you define savoring. For me, savoring something is being fully present in the experience, and really turning the senses experiencing it up to 11.
projektir 10y ago
Most miserable people also exist in miserable conditions where there are not that many chances for them to enjoy something or access to a philosophy that allows them to do that. Please have a bit more empathy for your fellow man, and remember that nobody tries to be miserable on purpose: something must have went really wrong along the way.
- CuriouslyC 10y ago
  I have a great deal of empathy for my species. That doesn't mean that I always have to be gentle. Jesus was about as loving of a cat as you could imagine, but there were times he laid down the law when people were out of line. The idea that only special things are worthy of being savored is at the root of the problem. A sunset, a flower, a slice of cheese pizza, whatever - it's beautiful, appreciate it.
  - projektir 10y ago
    Empathy is not about being gentle, it's about being able to understand the perspective, life situation, and mentality of another. Sunsets, flowers, and good-tasting slices of cheese pizza are actually kind of special. Plenty of people don't have access to these things. They wake up before the sun is up, then they go work in some building away from trees and flowers and the sky, eat the only cheap, low quality food they can find, and then come back home when the sun is already down. And after living life like this for many years, their brain starts to forget the beauty of the flower or the sunset or the cheese, and when they finally see it, it doesn't look as bright and beautiful as it does to us. http://ivn.us/2014/05/23/the-psychological-effects-of-poverty/ http://ivn.us/2014/05/23/the-psychological-effects-of-povert... http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2015/08/25/0956797615597672 http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2015/08/25/095679761559...
    - CuriouslyC 10y ago
      I feel for people that are suffering. I've been homeless, I've been crushingly poor, I've spent time with poor people in third world countries, I've suffered through all kinds of nasty stuff - I know firsthand what it is like. If your life situation is such that you don't have the ability to experience a sunrise/sunset/pretty flowers/cheese pizza/a variety of other equally common but amazing things, it is almost certainly because you put yourself in, and keep yourself in that situation. There's pretty much always a better option, if you really take a close look at things. I have limited empathy for self-imposed suffering, I feel that only reinforces bad choices. The analogy I make for most people is that their unhappiness is like being in jail, only their cell door is unlocked, nobody is guarding the prison, and nobody is keeping track of who should and should not be there. You could literally walk out at any time and be free. As for a hard life dulling your ability to feel pleasure, you are in control of how much you attend to your senses. It is exactly the thing my original comment was about - don't focus on how bad your life is and how much you suffer while you put this marvel of modern culinary magic in your mouth. Instead, quiet the mind, take a deep breath and inhale the aroma of the food. Really look at that beautiful slice of deliciousness, then take a bite, and roll it around on your tongue to truly feel the crispness of the crust and the spring of the cheese. Let the waves of flavor roll over you as the sauce and cheese intermingle in your mouth. When the food has been chewed to the point it is no longer pleasing, then swallow it and enjoy the feeling as it travels down into your stomach. You can literally do this for ANYTHING pleasant in your life, and it makes things _so_ much better.

asciihacker 10y ago

> The idea of savoring experiences is a good start. Sort of. But real Buddhist mindfulness would call that 'savoring' craving. Nirvana lies in lack of attachment to the rise and fall of phenomena, not savoring the rise.

CuriouslyC 10y ago
That's really just a function of how you define savoring. For me, savoring something is being fully present in the experience, and really turning the senses experiencing it up to 11.

projektir 10y ago

Most miserable people also exist in miserable conditions where there are not that many chances for them to enjoy something or access to a philosophy that allows them to do that. Please have a bit more empathy for your fellow man, and remember that nobody tries to be miserable on purpose: something must have went really wrong along the way.

CuriouslyC 10y ago
I have a great deal of empathy for my species. That doesn't mean that I always have to be gentle. Jesus was about as loving of a cat as you could imagine, but there were times he laid down the law when people were out of line. The idea that only special things are worthy of being savored is at the root of the problem. A sunset, a flower, a slice of cheese pizza, whatever - it's beautiful, appreciate it.
- projektir 10y ago
  Empathy is not about being gentle, it's about being able to understand the perspective, life situation, and mentality of another. Sunsets, flowers, and good-tasting slices of cheese pizza are actually kind of special. Plenty of people don't have access to these things. They wake up before the sun is up, then they go work in some building away from trees and flowers and the sky, eat the only cheap, low quality food they can find, and then come back home when the sun is already down. And after living life like this for many years, their brain starts to forget the beauty of the flower or the sunset or the cheese, and when they finally see it, it doesn't look as bright and beautiful as it does to us. http://ivn.us/2014/05/23/the-psychological-effects-of-poverty/ http://ivn.us/2014/05/23/the-psychological-effects-of-povert... http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2015/08/25/0956797615597672 http://pss.sagepub.com/content/early/2015/08/25/095679761559...
  - CuriouslyC 10y ago
    I feel for people that are suffering. I've been homeless, I've been crushingly poor, I've spent time with poor people in third world countries, I've suffered through all kinds of nasty stuff - I know firsthand what it is like. If your life situation is such that you don't have the ability to experience a sunrise/sunset/pretty flowers/cheese pizza/a variety of other equally common but amazing things, it is almost certainly because you put yourself in, and keep yourself in that situation. There's pretty much always a better option, if you really take a close look at things. I have limited empathy for self-imposed suffering, I feel that only reinforces bad choices. The analogy I make for most people is that their unhappiness is like being in jail, only their cell door is unlocked, nobody is guarding the prison, and nobody is keeping track of who should and should not be there. You could literally walk out at any time and be free. As for a hard life dulling your ability to feel pleasure, you are in control of how much you attend to your senses. It is exactly the thing my original comment was about - don't focus on how bad your life is and how much you suffer while you put this marvel of modern culinary magic in your mouth. Instead, quiet the mind, take a deep breath and inhale the aroma of the food. Really look at that beautiful slice of deliciousness, then take a bite, and roll it around on your tongue to truly feel the crispness of the crust and the spring of the cheese. Let the waves of flavor roll over you as the sauce and cheese intermingle in your mouth. When the food has been chewed to the point it is no longer pleasing, then swallow it and enjoy the feeling as it travels down into your stomach. You can literally do this for ANYTHING pleasant in your life, and it makes things _so_ much better.