4 ms·
I have a two year old. He can reason. "But I WAAANNNT TOOOO..." 'Firstly - that's whining. And you know that you are less likely to get what you want when you
by jbert 19y ago
I have a two year old. He can reason.
"But I WAAANNNT TOOOO..."
'Firstly - that's whining. And you know that you are less likely to get what you want when you whine, don't you?'
'Secondly, the reason you can't go over there is because that road is too dangerous for you to be near at your age. When you're bigger, we'll teach you how to do that more safely and you will be able to.'
[and if over-repeated...]
'Now, if you carry on complaining about that then we'll have to go home/you'll have to go inside/you'll have to go and stand over there as a punishment]. You're making this no fun for me and no fun for you. You can X Y Z which is a decent alternative'
[and never give a threat you're not willing and able to follow through on.]
[Child runs to road...."STOP!" + rugby tackle if need be.]
I don't dispute your right to raise your child as you wish, but I do dispute the reasoning you've demonstrated as your justification for doing so.
- noonespecial 19y agoI guess my point was not to argue the reasoning power of a 2 year old directly. I think we definitely disagree on this. My point was that spanking creates a visceral aversion to a behavior that is immediate and very different from a reasoned response. There is no "last time I did this I got spanked and so I don't think I'll do it again" thought process, only an automatic nervous response that associates built in pain avoidance with an action. I'm not here to say when or how much spanking is appropriate. This is for each parent to decide for themselves. I'm just saying that it can and does work where reason fails, and if used appropriately and with discretion, its not the soul-draining horror some alarmists make it out to be.