3 ms·
General principle: short sentences convey speed, long and meandering sentences will give the reader a sense of drawn out time. A pitfall many writers fall into
by SlyShy 17y ago
General principle: short sentences convey speed, long and meandering sentences will give the reader a sense of drawn out time. A pitfall many writers fall into is over describing their action scenes, which makes them seem oddly sluggish and dull.
The revision shown in the article to "A Bad Uncle lifted Captain Samson over his head and hurled her over the edge of the catwalk," is an example of this problem. The reader knows how you throw someone, they don't need an explanation.
"The Bad Uncle hurled Captain Samson over the edge." (Presumably the reader knows they are on a catwalk, too, so "the catwalk" is unnecessary.)
If it is really important to convey that the Bad Uncle is very strong you could do "The Bad Uncle hurled Captain Samson over his head, off the catwalk," or something similar.
Edit: Also, the article discourages adverbs, but doesn't mention that adjectives are similarly bad. Most adjectives can be better conveyed through an action or specific detail. Don't say "she was nice", but do show her helping a lost child.
- danh 17y agoAnother rule: use short words. "Short words are the best and old words when short are best of all," as Winston Churchill would have it.
- Perceval 17y agoChurchill is probably getting at the distinction between Germanic and Latinate root words in English. Hemingway used to write with a obvious preference for Germanic root words, which were short and tough and had a pleasing sound. Latinate root words are usually long ten-cent words lacking the same utilitarian grace of their Germanic root analogs. I always thought it would be a fun project to use an etymology database to make a Latinate-to-Germanic thesaurus, something you could use just like spell check on a document to suggest Germanic alternatives to Latinate words.
- jpwagner 17y agoI always thought it would be a fun project to use an etymology database to make a Latinate-to-Germanic thesaurus, something you could use just like spell check on a document to suggest Germanic alternatives to Latinate words. struck me funny that more than half of these words are 6+