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Genuine question here. Why is it that some lack the discipline to just do things that they want to do? Its a common theme that appears in most books (heck Just

by boyter 10y ago

Genuine question here. Why is it that some lack the discipline to just do things that they want to do? Its a common theme that appears in most books (heck Just Fucking Ship is a whole book on this) and I have noticed this over time with different people but never understood it. Is there a psychological reason behind this? Is it something that needs to be overcome with the ways listed here? I guess what I am asking is why is that many cannot just decide to do something and do it without trying to hold themselves accountable using techniques.

ziggit 10y ago
There's plenty of reasons. They can range from things like Depression, Anxiety, ADHD or Executive Function Disorder. It can also just be a matter of not encountering tools or techniques that they can apply to their daily life. As great as a book or system can be, it doesn't really do any good if you can't figure out how to apply it to your own life. Saying that people lack discipline can even be counter productive. It is incredibly exhausting to hear that you're undisciplined while you're simultaneously fighting to accomplish a fraction of things you want to do, much less need to do. Once you've heard this enough, it can seem futile to even try, and you can start to wonder if there's something wrong with you. I've personally experienced this while dealing with ADHD and Depression in my life, but, as my grandfather used to say "Different strokes for different folks"
reflexive 10y ago
> Why is it that some lack the discipline to just do things that they want to do? If I find myself unable to do the things I want to do, I have to ask: do I really want to do these things, or do I just want to want to do them? Let's say I'm convinced I need to learn a new programming language / library, and study to interview for a new job. But is this new language or new job really the thing that's missing in my life? Maybe what I really want to do is make some music, or explore my neighborhood. Maybe part of me knows I should be going out, meeting girls, getting married, and starting a family. When you try to make yourself work on things that don't address your real needs, you end up with priority inversion. If you find yourself saying "I can't do anything until X is done, yet I can't make myself do X", that could be a sign to say "Fuck X, what I really want to do is Y."
- rabidrat 10y ago
  And then some of us look back over two decades of half-finished projects, and think, "Wow, many of these Xes were really cool, I wish I had just sucked it up and finished a few of the Xes, even though at the time all I wanted to do is start yet another project like Y". The real issue is that some humans have a harder time integrating their short-term and long-term desires.
  - reflexive 10y ago
    It's always possible to revisit a decades-old project and pick up where you left off. If you don't have the time or motivation to finish it today, you can hardly blame your past self for making the same decision. Leaving your abandoned project in a somewhat "working state" can go a long way to facilitate this.
Geekette 10y ago
Why is it that some lack the discipline to just do things that they want to do? Because levels of motivation matter. A lot of times, people want to have things, not necessarily make them; it's the difference between being interested vs driven to do something. E.g. A person wanting and daydreaming about having a wooden scale model yacht may want to design it but not actually want go through the building process. There is also the issue of discipline and temperament: A person driven by nautical design or related toys may not go far if they often lack the discipline to finish what they start and/or get bored easily. Ultimately, successful side-projects require a combination of factors, not just desire.
ArkyBeagle 10y ago
People actually do what they really want to do. If that is different from what they say they want to do, then you have your answer.
- afarrell 10y ago
  But what people want to do can repeately make them miserable. "want" is not that simple of a word.
  - ArkyBeagle 10y ago
    The problem is that if they don't do it, I can't say they really want it. I can see being obsessed with something like that, but that seems separate somehow.
    - afarrell 10y ago
      Can you say that they "desire" it then? How about saying that they "believe it would make them happier"?
      - ArkyBeagle 10y ago
        I think they're doing it wrong if that desire makes them miserable.
        afarrell 10y ago
        Many people live in ways that they find frustrating.
pjc50 10y ago
Other way round: how do the rare few self-motivate themselves to do things on their own, persistently? How many people fully plan their day, rather than just doing adhoc or conventional things? Not many.
reitanqild 10y ago
If this is not a problem for you then good for you : ) For some of us it is a constant struggle. My biggest contributors for this specific thing (weekend procrastination) are probably: * fear of investing a lot of time without being able to finish (I get interrupted all the time outside of work). This might sound stupid, but it is really draining me to the point where when I was younger and not married I'd go to bed shortly after work, wake up and go to the office in the middle of the night just to get something I wanted to do done. * fear of failure, coupled with perfectionism, leading to hesitation while I wait or even more dangerous, search for the perfect solution. I worked my way towards "sloppiness", telling myself it is only a draft, I can always get back to it later etc. Helpful resources: "Cult of Done" http://www.manifestoproject.it/bre-pettis-and-kio-stark/ http://www.manifestoproject.it/bre-pettis-and-kio-stark/ as well as "The Now habit" by Neil Fiore. Now for anyone who doesn't struggle: there is nothing here (unless you want to be a good boss that happens to magically make people like us output more good stuff in shorter time while enjoying work).
brazzledazzle 10y ago
Because there's really two different "wants". We "want" to be productive but we "want" to screw around all day browsing the web/playing video games. The former requires focus, effort and discipline while the latter requires none. How rewarding they are is commensurate with the amount of effort.

by boyter 10y ago

ziggit 10y ago

There's plenty of reasons. They can range from things like Depression, Anxiety, ADHD or Executive Function Disorder. It can also just be a matter of not encountering tools or techniques that they can apply to their daily life. As great as a book or system can be, it doesn't really do any good if you can't figure out how to apply it to your own life. Saying that people lack discipline can even be counter productive. It is incredibly exhausting to hear that you're undisciplined while you're simultaneously fighting to accomplish a fraction of things you want to do, much less need to do. Once you've heard this enough, it can seem futile to even try, and you can start to wonder if there's something wrong with you. I've personally experienced this while dealing with ADHD and Depression in my life, but, as my grandfather used to say "Different strokes for different folks"

reflexive 10y ago

> Why is it that some lack the discipline to just do things that they want to do? If I find myself unable to do the things I want to do, I have to ask: do I really want to do these things, or do I just want to want to do them? Let's say I'm convinced I need to learn a new programming language / library, and study to interview for a new job. But is this new language or new job really the thing that's missing in my life? Maybe what I really want to do is make some music, or explore my neighborhood. Maybe part of me knows I should be going out, meeting girls, getting married, and starting a family. When you try to make yourself work on things that don't address your real needs, you end up with priority inversion. If you find yourself saying "I can't do anything until X is done, yet I can't make myself do X", that could be a sign to say "Fuck X, what I really want to do is Y."

rabidrat 10y ago
And then some of us look back over two decades of half-finished projects, and think, "Wow, many of these Xes were really cool, I wish I had just sucked it up and finished a few of the Xes, even though at the time all I wanted to do is start yet another project like Y". The real issue is that some humans have a harder time integrating their short-term and long-term desires.
- reflexive 10y ago
  It's always possible to revisit a decades-old project and pick up where you left off. If you don't have the time or motivation to finish it today, you can hardly blame your past self for making the same decision. Leaving your abandoned project in a somewhat "working state" can go a long way to facilitate this.

Geekette 10y ago

Why is it that some lack the discipline to just do things that they want to do? Because levels of motivation matter. A lot of times, people want to have things, not necessarily make them; it's the difference between being interested vs driven to do something. E.g. A person wanting and daydreaming about having a wooden scale model yacht may want to design it but not actually want go through the building process. There is also the issue of discipline and temperament: A person driven by nautical design or related toys may not go far if they often lack the discipline to finish what they start and/or get bored easily. Ultimately, successful side-projects require a combination of factors, not just desire.

ArkyBeagle 10y ago

People actually do what they really want to do. If that is different from what they say they want to do, then you have your answer.

afarrell 10y ago
But what people want to do can repeately make them miserable. "want" is not that simple of a word.
- ArkyBeagle 10y ago
  The problem is that if they don't do it, I can't say they really want it. I can see being obsessed with something like that, but that seems separate somehow.
  - afarrell 10y ago
    Can you say that they "desire" it then? How about saying that they "believe it would make them happier"?
    - ArkyBeagle 10y ago
      I think they're doing it wrong if that desire makes them miserable.
      - afarrell 10y ago
        Many people live in ways that they find frustrating.

pjc50 10y ago

Other way round: how do the rare few self-motivate themselves to do things on their own, persistently? How many people fully plan their day, rather than just doing adhoc or conventional things? Not many.

reitanqild 10y ago

If this is not a problem for you then good for you : ) For some of us it is a constant struggle. My biggest contributors for this specific thing (weekend procrastination) are probably: * fear of investing a lot of time without being able to finish (I get interrupted all the time outside of work). This might sound stupid, but it is really draining me to the point where when I was younger and not married I'd go to bed shortly after work, wake up and go to the office in the middle of the night just to get something I wanted to do done. * fear of failure, coupled with perfectionism, leading to hesitation while I wait or even more dangerous, search for the perfect solution. I worked my way towards "sloppiness", telling myself it is only a draft, I can always get back to it later etc. Helpful resources: "Cult of Done" http://www.manifestoproject.it/bre-pettis-and-kio-stark/ http://www.manifestoproject.it/bre-pettis-and-kio-stark/ as well as "The Now habit" by Neil Fiore. Now for anyone who doesn't struggle: there is nothing here (unless you want to be a good boss that happens to magically make people like us output more good stuff in shorter time while enjoying work).

brazzledazzle 10y ago

Because there's really two different "wants". We "want" to be productive but we "want" to screw around all day browsing the web/playing video games. The former requires focus, effort and discipline while the latter requires none. How rewarding they are is commensurate with the amount of effort.