3 ms·

I disagree to some extent. Men who are successful at being jerks are successful because they're confident. A man can be confident and not a jerk, and the reacti

I disagree to some extent. Men who are successful at being jerks are successful because they're confident. A man can be confident and not a jerk, and the reaction will for some women also be effective, but the reaction will definitely be different. It depends on what the woman is looking for. If she's looking for excitement and something casual, I think the evidence shows that being a jerk is a lot more effective. If she wants a husband, being nice is a lot more effective. But for the most part, you're not going to have much success at cold-openings with women by trying to appeal to their desire to find a husband. Being "a jerk" to a woman signals that you don't especially value her. It puts her in a frame of mind that you yourself must be valuable to not value her or fawn over her like lots of men do. It makes her chase you instead of you chasing her (which is boring because women get that all the time). Confidence is what makes it work, but I don't think it's the confidence alone.

NegatioN 10y ago
Since we're now wandering in to "pick-up artist" territory, it is actually often argued that "coming from a place of abundance" is one of the key factors. In other words, you like hanging out with the woman, and you will entertain her and yourself by being yourself. However you will not do any of these things from an ulterior motive of taking her home, you simply take actions guiding the outcome towards that if you feel like it. Otherwise you are perfectly content to enjoy the moment, as it is. And if it doesn't work out, you're perfectly fine with that as well. Your mental state is undamaged, and you're not signaling lack of value because you fall into desperation when "the only woman" (the one you worked so hard for!) you're with is leaving. I would argue (probably strongly influenced by others, RSDTyler mainly [1]), that it is easier to be "false confident" as a "jerk", and signal abundance in that way, than to have true confidence based in the actions you take every day, and the life that you live. That is why we've seen this stereotype of the jerk getting the girl. However this jerk might not be a good fit for a relationship (and neither is the "nice guy" sucking up to the girl with an ulterior motive), as they will not be able to stay centered and confident over a longer period of time. However it is probably easier to detect the "nice guy" and weed him out, than the jerk, as that more closely resembles true confidence. Interestingly enough, having true confidence means you kinda come full-circle and end up being a person with clearly defined boundries and probably a clear driving force in your life. Thereby turning into a more interesting person, and a better "mating partner". Interesting sources: https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576 https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges... https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24 https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-... [1]: https://www.youtube.com/user/RSDTyler https://www.youtube.com/user/RSDTyler [2]: The most engaged, but least attached: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWaDDCjuM0w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWaDDCjuM0w

NegatioN 10y ago

Since we're now wandering in to "pick-up artist" territory, it is actually often argued that "coming from a place of abundance" is one of the key factors. In other words, you like hanging out with the woman, and you will entertain her and yourself by being yourself. However you will not do any of these things from an ulterior motive of taking her home, you simply take actions guiding the outcome towards that if you feel like it. Otherwise you are perfectly content to enjoy the moment, as it is. And if it doesn't work out, you're perfectly fine with that as well. Your mental state is undamaged, and you're not signaling lack of value because you fall into desperation when "the only woman" (the one you worked so hard for!) you're with is leaving. I would argue (probably strongly influenced by others, RSDTyler mainly [1]), that it is easier to be "false confident" as a "jerk", and signal abundance in that way, than to have true confidence based in the actions you take every day, and the life that you live. That is why we've seen this stereotype of the jerk getting the girl. However this jerk might not be a good fit for a relationship (and neither is the "nice guy" sucking up to the girl with an ulterior motive), as they will not be able to stay centered and confident over a longer period of time. However it is probably easier to detect the "nice guy" and weed him out, than the jerk, as that more closely resembles true confidence. Interestingly enough, having true confidence means you kinda come full-circle and end up being a person with clearly defined boundries and probably a clear driving force in your life. Thereby turning into a more interesting person, and a better "mating partner". Interesting sources: https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges/dp/1591792576 https://www.amazon.com/Way-Superior-Man-Spiritual-Challenges... https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24 https://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-... [1]: https://www.youtube.com/user/RSDTyler https://www.youtube.com/user/RSDTyler [2]: The most engaged, but least attached: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWaDDCjuM0w https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWaDDCjuM0w