5 ms·

You just described my entire condition. I've had therapists tell me that I didn't want help because of these feelings and that things were fine I shouldn't real

You just described my entire condition. I've had therapists tell me that I didn't want help because of these feelings and that things were fine I shouldn't really worry (they actually said this to me). Reasonable comment from an outsider perspective maybe, but doesn't really help or offer any insight. The gaslighting comment is all too real. I wonder what's wrong with me because I don't feel contented. I feel like a fake all the time and then I feel like a fake for feeling like one. It's madness. Somehow I'm still able to carry on, but it's not fun.

fsloth 10y ago
Sounds like your therapists were not best suited for you. Mind if I ask which style of psychotherapy they practiced?
- yolesaber 10y ago
  I'm not entirely sure. One was a fancy lady with a union square office who was recommended to me by a friend. She was nice but tried directing everything towards my family which I thought was distracting. The best therapist I ever had was an older man from upstate NY who practiced zen buddhism. He was technically a psychiatrist I suppose but we had incredible talk sessions and he helped me manage it during the worst episodes (first years of college), because we mostly just talked about poetry or writing or anything but normal therapy territory. I'm not sure where he is at now but I would like to find something similar to that. But to be honest I'm pretty burnt out on therapy and my mood swings make it hard to build a consistent rapport with most practitioners. Also therapy is INCREDIBLY expensive and many don't take insurance. It feels screwy.
  - fsloth 10y ago
    The list of various styles of psychotherapy is vast and they differ greatly in their approach https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_psychotherapies https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_psychotherapies Cognitive behavioural therapy is one of the well known ones and to my understanding tends to focus on concrete patterns of behaviour rather than digging out some deficit in parental relationships https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy Totally amateur here but unfortunately a bit familiar of depression. What you described sounds like a familiar pattern and CBT was helpfull in that.
oldmanjay 10y ago
Having gone through some depressive episodes and a variety of clinical work to resolve them, I do not get the sense that anyone really knows what they're doing. The whole process led me to empathize deeply with the perspective of a dart board being used to learn the game.
- Terr_ 10y ago
  It's that fine line between "nobody really knows what they're doing" versus "doing anything is almost certainly better than doing nothing."

fsloth 10y ago

Sounds like your therapists were not best suited for you. Mind if I ask which style of psychotherapy they practiced?

yolesaber 10y ago
I'm not entirely sure. One was a fancy lady with a union square office who was recommended to me by a friend. She was nice but tried directing everything towards my family which I thought was distracting. The best therapist I ever had was an older man from upstate NY who practiced zen buddhism. He was technically a psychiatrist I suppose but we had incredible talk sessions and he helped me manage it during the worst episodes (first years of college), because we mostly just talked about poetry or writing or anything but normal therapy territory. I'm not sure where he is at now but I would like to find something similar to that. But to be honest I'm pretty burnt out on therapy and my mood swings make it hard to build a consistent rapport with most practitioners. Also therapy is INCREDIBLY expensive and many don't take insurance. It feels screwy.
- fsloth 10y ago
  The list of various styles of psychotherapy is vast and they differ greatly in their approach https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_psychotherapies https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_psychotherapies Cognitive behavioural therapy is one of the well known ones and to my understanding tends to focus on concrete patterns of behaviour rather than digging out some deficit in parental relationships https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy Totally amateur here but unfortunately a bit familiar of depression. What you described sounds like a familiar pattern and CBT was helpfull in that.

oldmanjay 10y ago

Having gone through some depressive episodes and a variety of clinical work to resolve them, I do not get the sense that anyone really knows what they're doing. The whole process led me to empathize deeply with the perspective of a dart board being used to learn the game.

Terr_ 10y ago
It's that fine line between "nobody really knows what they're doing" versus "doing anything is almost certainly better than doing nothing."