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Agreed. My wife and I have 5 kids. One thing our friends with 1 or 2 kids will never understand: we can't possibly keep an eye on all of them all the time.

by unit91 10y ago

Agreed. My wife and I have 5 kids. One thing our friends with 1 or 2 kids will never understand: we can't possibly keep an eye on all of them all the time. The reality is, the kids have ample opportunity for dangerous accidents. The solution in our household is have high standards of expected conduct, and play "whack-a-mole" with whoever needs attention (positive or negative). Looking back to when we only had 2, I actually think this is producing more responsible, content kiddos.

endymi0n 10y ago
Exactly this. Our second daughter has had so many cuts and bruises because we couldn't be all over her when looking after the first one in her terrible twos - and that way she's a much more relaxed and courageous child FWIW. I guess after the third you're happy when none of the kamikaze kids have any serious injuries at the end of the day. Having more than one child changes you in a very interesting way - you get a little more relaxed. Parents of only children IMHO are much more prone to getting helicopter parents.
- gbog 10y ago
  Well, there are methods that can help to avoid raising "kamikaze kids". None is a silver bullet and kids have a lot of variability by themselves, but still: - Start early to forbid things. My third don't talk yet but understands very well that I do not agree with him smashing his elder sister in the head with anything he found around. When this happens and I'm near enough to react immediately, the little thing will be slapped back, softly but enough for him to know that it is annoying. - Be more often in the calmer mode than in the exiter mode with them. I need to work more on this because when I get home and hug the little third, I'm too quick to tickle his belly and throw him in the air. He it nice to sit often together and read a book or play lego for a while. This show them. - Pick only a few rules and hold on them. I make no drama if one of them did not wash them teeth for one night. However, there's never a toy on the eating table. It happened to me to have forbidden something but thought the second after that it should have been ok. Then you can't revert easily. Less rules, but enforced, makes kid life safer than thousand of useless "be careful".

by unit91 10y ago

endymi0n 10y ago

Exactly this. Our second daughter has had so many cuts and bruises because we couldn't be all over her when looking after the first one in her terrible twos - and that way she's a much more relaxed and courageous child FWIW. I guess after the third you're happy when none of the kamikaze kids have any serious injuries at the end of the day. Having more than one child changes you in a very interesting way - you get a little more relaxed. Parents of only children IMHO are much more prone to getting helicopter parents.

gbog 10y ago
Well, there are methods that can help to avoid raising "kamikaze kids". None is a silver bullet and kids have a lot of variability by themselves, but still: - Start early to forbid things. My third don't talk yet but understands very well that I do not agree with him smashing his elder sister in the head with anything he found around. When this happens and I'm near enough to react immediately, the little thing will be slapped back, softly but enough for him to know that it is annoying. - Be more often in the calmer mode than in the exiter mode with them. I need to work more on this because when I get home and hug the little third, I'm too quick to tickle his belly and throw him in the air. He it nice to sit often together and read a book or play lego for a while. This show them. - Pick only a few rules and hold on them. I make no drama if one of them did not wash them teeth for one night. However, there's never a toy on the eating table. It happened to me to have forbidden something but thought the second after that it should have been ok. Then you can't revert easily. Less rules, but enforced, makes kid life safer than thousand of useless "be careful".