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The thing is, if you want to prevent your children from accessing sites you'd prefer them not to without accompanying them in the future... there's been commerc
by vertex-four 10y ago
The thing is, if you want to prevent your children from accessing sites you'd prefer them not to without accompanying them in the future... there's been commercial solutions to that almost since the first porn site existed. Net Nanny's been around almost as long as I've been alive. Combine that with ensuring that your child's computer is in a public place, not their bedroom.
Frankly, if people are going to be exposed to said imagery at some point, they probably need to be educated about it. And not just about porn - about people with racist and bigoted views, about the news they'll read about someone committing a school shooting or a bombing.
There's no way we're ever going to convince people on the Internet to self-categorise and warn people about what they're going to come across. The only option is to supervise your child's use of the Internet (and other media, tbh) while you try to prepare them for what they're going to come across.
- Freak_NL 10y ago> Frankly, if people are going to be exposed to said imagery at some point, they probably need to be educated about it. That's what this is all about isn't it? There is lots of stuff on the internet that may hurt a child's development, and I honestly doubt porn is one of the bigger bad influences. Kids are growing up watching popular peers give them beauty and fashion tips or perform dangerous stunts and pranks on extremely popular Youtube channels. Of course all you see is the side they want you to see: the successful prank with hilarious consequences, the perfect look by that pretty girl with the perfect figure. But left to their own devices your children won't see that girl's bad hair day, or the stunt that backfired and landed one of the kids in hospital. Your kids won't realize that the brand of lipstick the popular beauty vlogger promotes also sends her plenty of free samples in return for the favour, or that that hilarious prank was staged. It's our responsibility as parents and educators — as adults — to teach kids about this. Now for porn this always gets tricky, because a lot of people would like to stick to just the basic birds and bees (if even that) and just pretend that sexuality is something you receive with your drivers licence. It doesn't work that way, and believing that blocking a vaunted digital commodity will make it go away is an age-old fallacy. There will always be that one kid who can get the goods, with that one app or website that completely circumvents the blockade. Meanwhile you get to register for your approved pervert ID if you actually want to comply with the system and watch porn. It boggles my mind how anyone can think that this will benefit society rather than take another step towards a full Orwellian surveillance state. > I'm all for a better solution, but nobody seems to be proposing one. You are probably doing all right already. The computer and tablets stay in the living room where you can supervise incidentally until they reach the teenage years. And then the smartphones stay with you after bedtime. For the rest, it is up to you to set a good example, and to explain the world to your kids as they encounter it. That means talking about sex too, and that means explaining what they are looking at when they do stumble upon adult content — not acting embarrassed and making them feel guilty as if they've bitten into some forbidden fruit. "Oh this is just adult sex, you'll understand better when you are older. Any questions?" If it really bothers you; install filtering software. Filtering the parts of reality deemed not yet suitable from your children is responsible (just don't pretend it doesn't exist); filtering it from society at large is unbearably sanctimonious.
- zimpenfish 10y ago> That's what this is all about isn't it? There is lots of stuff on the internet that may hurt a child's development, and I honestly doubt porn is one of the bigger bad influences. Indeed, I'd list the MRA/PUA/GamerGaters as a much greater risk to young males (directly; young females as a consequence). I'd probably have the alt-right/conspiracy loons above porn as well.
- belorn 10y agoI would add watching news and using social media to that list, as there plenty of research that show how those destroys a persons ability to assess risk. Each year we get studies that show how people are factually more safer today than last year, and yet perceive the world as less safe.
- nightspirit 10y agoAs much as MRA/PUA types are nuts, they are also getting many things right that the mainstream has no clue about. Let's say that it takes some knowledge and skills to bed new woman every week, for five years straight. Few men would pull it off even if they didn't have moral objections.
- rayiner 10y ago> There is lots of stuff on the internet that may hurt a child's development [Citation needed.]
- Freak_NL 10y agoAre you seriously doubting that there are peer reviewed articles that assert that there are things on the internet that can harm a child's development and well-being? Have a look at Google Scholar for a plethora of papers about cyber-bullying, grooming, self-esteem issues (mental and physical), pro-anorexia blogs, etcetera. You can combine the keywords "internet" and "children" with any of the above to get an extensive list of papers on each topic.
- 10y ago
- joosters 10y agoCombine that with ensuring that your child's computer is in a public place, not their bedroom. Not really practical advice in an era of tablets and mobiles.
- vertex-four 10y agoVery practical - don't give your <12yo child a tablet or smartphone. They're not necessary parts of human existence, and certainly not of a child's existence.
- ipedrazas 10y agoof course, how we parents didn't think of that before!
- mobiuscog 10y agoMany don't. Unfortunately.
- mobiuscog 10y agoExactly. Unfortunately, this seems less usual than you would think.
- rayiner 10y agoMy 4 year old has a tablet, and I'm getting her a smart phone as soon as she can figure out how to text. She uses it to watch shows, draw, play games, facetime with her grandparents, look at family photos, etc. Most of the "harms" of screen time disappear when adjusted for things like socio-economic status: http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/screen-time-for-kids-is-probably-fine; http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/screen-time-for-kids-is-... http://daily.jstor.org/screentime-feminist-issue http://daily.jstor.org/screentime-feminist-issue. Basically, like most parenting advice, exhortations to limit kids' access to screens is based on pseudo-science and old wives' tales. It should not be taken seriously.
- Unbeliever69 10y agoThere will always be that kid at school or at a friend's house that DOES have access to these devices. We are already a paranoid, helicopter parent society as it is. Next step, strap kids into their beds and chairs and spoon feed them only what you want them to consume. Never let them leave home. Problem solved.