I think what you wrote is 99% about your cultural conditioning. I know the depression makes it even harder, but you should try to forget what everyone says and

I think what you wrote is 99% about your cultural conditioning. I know the depression makes it even harder, but you should try to forget what everyone says and just paint or write something. Do something not because people expect it but because it has some value for you. There is always something to do for oneself, no matter how small. Every day. -- Just 2 eurocents from fellow european. I have had my share of handicap and exclusion, it took long arduous years but now I can stay idle whenever I want and not give a fuck about people thinking what I should be doing instead.