There is a point early in your education as a physicist (Quantum Mechanics) where it becomes impossible to have an intuitive understanding. For Quantum Mechanic

There is a point early in your education as a physicist (Quantum Mechanics) where it becomes impossible to have an intuitive understanding. For Quantum Mechanics you can just do the calculation, there is no way you can get an intuitive understanding, other than by becoming comfortable with the mathematics. I used the feel the same as you, but then I gave up. One day I was like "screw it, I'm just going to take it for granted". I stopped caring about getting a feel for why things happen, just that they do and I know how to calculate them. When that changed I was suddenly free, I didn't have to worry about why things made sense or not anymore. You still should understand what the problem is though. Physics isn't just about understanding the mathematics, it's also about understanding the physical arguments that goes along with it. Like how can we come up with the problem to solve in the first place? One problem I have often had is that in a long derivation my brain will be so fried on the mathematics that I eventually forget what the terms in the equations actually represent. I'm like "what is q again? oh yeah it's a generalised coordinate". It's cliche but the important part is not giving up. My favourite lecturer, who is a theorist, says that the main issue that students have is fluency. They can do the mathematics, but they aren't fluent at it. They aren't quick, they're slow, it takes them time to work it out, etc. That is what makes you forget, but eventually after seeing the mathematics so many times it will becomes ingrained in your brain, and it will just feel obvious, and you don't have to think about it. Eventually you will become fluent in the mathematics and it will disintegrate as a boundary, and all you'll have to think about is the physics. It's just practise.