4 ms·

Is it really about what's written??? 90% is visual is it not? How is it for you ... if you don't find her attractive as im sure you look at her pics first.. a

Is it really about what's written??? 90% is visual is it not? How is it for you ... if you don't find her attractive as im sure you look at her pics first.. are you going to bother reading what her profile says?

bruceb 10y ago
Do people judge on looks, of course but women less so. How a profile is written can absolutely make a difference. It is your personality translated in to words.
- curiousdater 10y ago
  Nah as bisexual guy and in my experience women are more judgemental then guys. They after all might procreate with you.
  - greenhatman 10y ago
    My experience is the same as yours, but there might also be a big difference between gay and straight guys. The dating pool is a lot smaller for gay guys. What percentage of people are gay? Like 5%?
  - Consultant32452 10y ago
    Just to put some data on this phenomenon. Women rate 80% of men as less attractive than average. Oddly enough, they message them anyways. https://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/ https://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dat...
    - szemet 10y ago
      Average? That's ok. If it were median there would be some problem here though... ;) (e.g. If every men is the same, except one who is beautiful, than everybody is below the average but one.)
      - Consultant32452 10y ago
        Uhh, you can't have 80% below the median. That's impossible by definition.
        szemet 10y ago
        Yes that's my point. But 80% below the average can be a valid/true valuation, no logical glitch here: If the "wisdom of the (female) crowd" says that's the case, then it may be true - so I don't see the issue here... So to clarify - your data says nothing about whether women are judgemental - they may be just realistic ;) If beauty is in the eye of the beholder than how can we argue them?
- curun1r 10y ago
  From what I've seen, women judge more on looks than men, but what they find attractive is far more diverse than men. OKCupid has some interesting data [1] supporting this. When you consider that most relationships form between people of a similar age, it follows that the man is compromising more on looks. [1] http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/christian-rudder-dataclysm-okcupid http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/christian-rudder-datacly...
  - bruceb 10y ago
    Christian Rudder doesn't normalize his dating data. Take what he says with a grain of salt.
danharaj 10y ago
Having sat with both male and female friends who were swiping on Tinder, both are important. A poorly written bio does not get a pass from a pretty face and a well written bio can make up for average looks. With how much artistic discretion one has with a camera, lighting, and makeup, everyone should be able to take a good selfie. It's harder to make the case for personality in text than looks with a photo.
gregpilling 10y ago
TL;DR - Put some real effort and time into optimizing your dating profile. I think it is how it is written. I met my wife on Match.com 16 years ago, back in the dinosaur age of internet dating. If you look around on these sites, they often have a 2000 character (or similar) limit on the text you can put in the profile, and most ads do not even use 10% of that. "I'm not good at these forms, just ask me anything!" or some useless drivel that does not tell me about the person. My profiles had the most success when I used all the character count, and I spent a fair amount of time editing in Word. Since you get one shot to make a first impression, why not make the best possible? I try to get someone who knows me well to read it, and to check to make sure the tone is correct. Who wants to date someone who comes across as angry or bitter? If I put that much effort into the wording, I would always get a ton of top level choices. The women wrote me, I didn't have to chase them. I think the differentiator was that they could clearly get a sense of my personality (what I thought was funny, etc) from reading the max length profile, and it stood apart from the 100 character competition. At the end of the day, it is a sales job like any other - put on your best presentation, clearly explain your deal breakers in a positive way, and be better prepared than the next guy. Because all you have to do is be more appealing than the competition. If the other guy is more attractive, but seems boring, then you will probably beat him if your profile is amusing. Intelligent women get tired of pretty but stupid guys, they usually want someone with more substance. If you can communicate that in your ad before the first date, then you are several steps ahead. I have an outside sales background; once I put dating in the context of selling it became something I was quite good at. I was just selling myself after all.
cloudjacker 10y ago
Replace your profile photos with stock photos of models and see how your results differ You'll be able to come to your own conclusions

bruceb 10y ago

Do people judge on looks, of course but women less so. How a profile is written can absolutely make a difference. It is your personality translated in to words.

curiousdater 10y ago
Nah as bisexual guy and in my experience women are more judgemental then guys. They after all might procreate with you.
- greenhatman 10y ago
  My experience is the same as yours, but there might also be a big difference between gay and straight guys. The dating pool is a lot smaller for gay guys. What percentage of people are gay? Like 5%?
- Consultant32452 10y ago
  Just to put some data on this phenomenon. Women rate 80% of men as less attractive than average. Oddly enough, they message them anyways. https://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/ https://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dat...
  - szemet 10y ago
    Average? That's ok. If it were median there would be some problem here though... ;) (e.g. If every men is the same, except one who is beautiful, than everybody is below the average but one.)
    - Consultant32452 10y ago
      Uhh, you can't have 80% below the median. That's impossible by definition.
      - szemet 10y ago
        Yes that's my point. But 80% below the average can be a valid/true valuation, no logical glitch here: If the "wisdom of the (female) crowd" says that's the case, then it may be true - so I don't see the issue here... So to clarify - your data says nothing about whether women are judgemental - they may be just realistic ;) If beauty is in the eye of the beholder than how can we argue them?
curun1r 10y ago
From what I've seen, women judge more on looks than men, but what they find attractive is far more diverse than men. OKCupid has some interesting data [1] supporting this. When you consider that most relationships form between people of a similar age, it follows that the man is compromising more on looks. [1] http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/christian-rudder-dataclysm-okcupid http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/christian-rudder-datacly...
- bruceb 10y ago
  Christian Rudder doesn't normalize his dating data. Take what he says with a grain of salt.

danharaj 10y ago

Having sat with both male and female friends who were swiping on Tinder, both are important. A poorly written bio does not get a pass from a pretty face and a well written bio can make up for average looks. With how much artistic discretion one has with a camera, lighting, and makeup, everyone should be able to take a good selfie. It's harder to make the case for personality in text than looks with a photo.

gregpilling 10y ago

TL;DR - Put some real effort and time into optimizing your dating profile. I think it is how it is written. I met my wife on Match.com 16 years ago, back in the dinosaur age of internet dating. If you look around on these sites, they often have a 2000 character (or similar) limit on the text you can put in the profile, and most ads do not even use 10% of that. "I'm not good at these forms, just ask me anything!" or some useless drivel that does not tell me about the person. My profiles had the most success when I used all the character count, and I spent a fair amount of time editing in Word. Since you get one shot to make a first impression, why not make the best possible? I try to get someone who knows me well to read it, and to check to make sure the tone is correct. Who wants to date someone who comes across as angry or bitter? If I put that much effort into the wording, I would always get a ton of top level choices. The women wrote me, I didn't have to chase them. I think the differentiator was that they could clearly get a sense of my personality (what I thought was funny, etc) from reading the max length profile, and it stood apart from the 100 character competition. At the end of the day, it is a sales job like any other - put on your best presentation, clearly explain your deal breakers in a positive way, and be better prepared than the next guy. Because all you have to do is be more appealing than the competition. If the other guy is more attractive, but seems boring, then you will probably beat him if your profile is amusing. Intelligent women get tired of pretty but stupid guys, they usually want someone with more substance. If you can communicate that in your ad before the first date, then you are several steps ahead. I have an outside sales background; once I put dating in the context of selling it became something I was quite good at. I was just selling myself after all.

cloudjacker 10y ago

Replace your profile photos with stock photos of models and see how your results differ You'll be able to come to your own conclusions