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So this guy has a job, is able to commute, is able to donate money to charity, able to smile though bitterly. He had big dreams, and now is down? I don't get it

by c13k 10y ago

So this guy has a job, is able to commute, is able to donate money to charity, able to smile though bitterly. He had big dreams, and now is down? I don't get it. He's not jobless, he's not homeless, he's able to commute probably not even in a wheelchair or crutches. He's has spare change in his pocket. There is no sense of gratitude for what he does have and complains about what he doesn't have. Welcome to reality.

wott 10y ago
This is typically the kind of absolutely clueless reaction that makes me even more depressed about human beings.
DocG 10y ago
It does not work that way.
adenot 10y ago
That's called depression... can hit anyone, no matter how fortunate they are, and doesn't mean it's their fault.
- makx 10y ago
  Though you don't know if he's clinically depressed, just has a rough week, or generally lives in a rather bleak environment.
smonff 10y ago
Reacting this way is surely the worst thing you can do.
farresito 10y ago
You are implying that someone who has everything you mentioned is happy, when it's often the opposite. The society we live in burns people emotionally, and it's precisely because of the lack of understanding from people like you (no offense intended) that we can't often do more about it. Do we work to live or live to work? Is donating money actually going to make him happy when he can't see the results first hand? Does money actually make people happy if we don't even have time to spend that money doing the things we would like to do? (It's common in the US to have shorter vacations than a lot of other countries.)
Jugurtha 10y ago
Think about it as a closed loop system. There's a desired state, a process/plant that produces an output given the desired state, a feedback loop that brings information about the output, and a comparator between the output and the desired state. This fellow had big dreams (desired state) and has a process (his actions) to produce his current situation (output). He compares between his desired and current states and the error is huge. What does that cause? The process works to bring the error down. It might overshoot, slowly converge, diverge, or oscillate around the desired state. A lot can go wrong in this simple example. As you suggested, his life might be not bad at all but his transducer might be faulty and sending defective information. His feedback might be screwed so what he sees of the current situation is altered. He might also have one transducer giving a good reading on one quantity, but missing the other output's quantities because he doesn't have transducers for them. His plant can also be at fault. The actions he's taking and how he conducts life might not be bringing the error down. In other words, he's not getting closer to his desired state. His desired state might be changing. Which would be normal for many to evolve but this fellow might not have the satisfaction of accomplishment because the system doesn't register it has ever reached a desired state. The sense of accomplishment is never there. His comparator might be at fault, too. His desired state might be beyond the plant's capabilities and it's impossible for it to reach it. The communication lines might also be the cause because someone hastily crimped the connectors and did a poor job.
- c13k 10y ago
  I think you see what the issue is, and I agree with you. In fact, I've experienced the exact same thing as the person in the article, about 20 years ago. From here you could gather how old I may be. I've been so down in depression and anxiety, and I could easily have penned the article myself during my downtimes. Without giving way too many details, my desired state back then was the home with a white picket fence, a couple children and a lovely spouse. The output (reality) was that I was became divorced, my only child kept away from me, and living in my parents basement as a fully grown adult, going through nasty nasty court battles. I lost all my money to lawyer fees. The Comparator between the output and the desired state was HUGE. Then this affected my job performance, causing all sorts of other issues. I hit rock bottom, and then I made a decision: crawl under a rock and die, or pick myself up. I chose the latter. Looking at the positives of what I did have (my life, able to walk, commute to work, give money to charity to help others) etc - this is what made me turn my life around. Lots and lots of hard work ensued, and some missteps along the way (some health issues due to stress). I cleaned up my diet, sought professional counseling help, went to the gym, personal trainer, took medication, did better at my job, got a promotion, found a new spouse, bought a house again. My desired state mentality has also changed over the years. Instead of trying to get the latest gadget, the biggest house, more promotions, more everything - I am now content with what I do have. I am content with the reality I have created. We all have a life story, and different perspectives.
tluyben2 10y ago
Having a 'job' and commuting actually made me wonder about the meaning of life, because working for someone (in a fugly grey building) and standing in a traffic jam or in a stinking subway is not really my idea of meaningful. Or, in other words, it differs from one person to the other.

by c13k 10y ago

wott 10y ago

This is typically the kind of absolutely clueless reaction that makes me even more depressed about human beings.

DocG 10y ago

It does not work that way.

adenot 10y ago

That's called depression... can hit anyone, no matter how fortunate they are, and doesn't mean it's their fault.

makx 10y ago
Though you don't know if he's clinically depressed, just has a rough week, or generally lives in a rather bleak environment.

smonff 10y ago

Reacting this way is surely the worst thing you can do.

farresito 10y ago

You are implying that someone who has everything you mentioned is happy, when it's often the opposite. The society we live in burns people emotionally, and it's precisely because of the lack of understanding from people like you (no offense intended) that we can't often do more about it. Do we work to live or live to work? Is donating money actually going to make him happy when he can't see the results first hand? Does money actually make people happy if we don't even have time to spend that money doing the things we would like to do? (It's common in the US to have shorter vacations than a lot of other countries.)

Jugurtha 10y ago

Think about it as a closed loop system. There's a desired state, a process/plant that produces an output given the desired state, a feedback loop that brings information about the output, and a comparator between the output and the desired state. This fellow had big dreams (desired state) and has a process (his actions) to produce his current situation (output). He compares between his desired and current states and the error is huge. What does that cause? The process works to bring the error down. It might overshoot, slowly converge, diverge, or oscillate around the desired state. A lot can go wrong in this simple example. As you suggested, his life might be not bad at all but his transducer might be faulty and sending defective information. His feedback might be screwed so what he sees of the current situation is altered. He might also have one transducer giving a good reading on one quantity, but missing the other output's quantities because he doesn't have transducers for them. His plant can also be at fault. The actions he's taking and how he conducts life might not be bringing the error down. In other words, he's not getting closer to his desired state. His desired state might be changing. Which would be normal for many to evolve but this fellow might not have the satisfaction of accomplishment because the system doesn't register it has ever reached a desired state. The sense of accomplishment is never there. His comparator might be at fault, too. His desired state might be beyond the plant's capabilities and it's impossible for it to reach it. The communication lines might also be the cause because someone hastily crimped the connectors and did a poor job.

c13k 10y ago
I think you see what the issue is, and I agree with you. In fact, I've experienced the exact same thing as the person in the article, about 20 years ago. From here you could gather how old I may be. I've been so down in depression and anxiety, and I could easily have penned the article myself during my downtimes. Without giving way too many details, my desired state back then was the home with a white picket fence, a couple children and a lovely spouse. The output (reality) was that I was became divorced, my only child kept away from me, and living in my parents basement as a fully grown adult, going through nasty nasty court battles. I lost all my money to lawyer fees. The Comparator between the output and the desired state was HUGE. Then this affected my job performance, causing all sorts of other issues. I hit rock bottom, and then I made a decision: crawl under a rock and die, or pick myself up. I chose the latter. Looking at the positives of what I did have (my life, able to walk, commute to work, give money to charity to help others) etc - this is what made me turn my life around. Lots and lots of hard work ensued, and some missteps along the way (some health issues due to stress). I cleaned up my diet, sought professional counseling help, went to the gym, personal trainer, took medication, did better at my job, got a promotion, found a new spouse, bought a house again. My desired state mentality has also changed over the years. Instead of trying to get the latest gadget, the biggest house, more promotions, more everything - I am now content with what I do have. I am content with the reality I have created. We all have a life story, and different perspectives.

tluyben2 10y ago

Having a 'job' and commuting actually made me wonder about the meaning of life, because working for someone (in a fugly grey building) and standing in a traffic jam or in a stinking subway is not really my idea of meaningful. Or, in other words, it differs from one person to the other.