3 ms·
Compare: "Perhaps you, like I, read The Voyage of the Beagle and found it to be a remarkable triumph of literature and naturalism and science and, dare I say i
by JackFr 10y ago
Compare:
"Perhaps you, like I, read The Voyage of the Beagle and found it to be a remarkable triumph of literature and naturalism and science and, dare I say it, the intellect."
with
"The Voyage of the Beagle was a triumph of literature, naturalism and intellect."
Not one fact deleted. There's no accounting for taste -- maybe you like crap writing. But worthwhile ideas remain so even when presented in simple declarative sentences.
- dragonwriter 10y ago> "Perhaps you, like I, read The Voyage of the Beagle and found it to be a remarkable triumph of literature and naturalism and science and, dare I say it, the intellect." > with > "The Voyage of the Beagle was a triumph of literature, naturalism and intellect." > Not one fact deleted. There's no accounting for taste Which is, in fact, the thing deleted (that is, the former version expressly emphasizes that the conclusion it offers is an opinion -- even as it clearly expects the reader to recognize that it is a quite common one, and that the author expects the reader to be likely to share it -- and the latter suggests it is a simple statement of fact.) > But worthwhile ideas remain so even when presented in simple declarative sentences. Yes, but sometimes changing the sentence structure also -- as in the example you present -- substantially alters the idea being presented.
- JackFr 10y agoI don't imagine I'll convince you, but here goes. Consider your response to me. If you had left it at "Which is the thing deleted" your point would have been well and cleverly made. But you go on to undermine it with a less clear parenthetical exposition of 50+ words (1 sentence!)