You seem to have externalized all the failures that have lead to your current situation. At least that's how it comes across. You are in charge of the situation

You seem to have externalized all the failures that have lead to your current situation. At least that's how it comes across. You are in charge of the situation. Just because you have been coding since 10 doesn't mean you are entitled to anything. It doesn't mean you should be rich and it doesn't mean you should have a well-paying job. Most of the people that do well tend to have a different attitude. They assume that success and failure is in their control (to a limited extent of course). They also tend to do work that they find fulfilling regardless of how much money they make and whether other people shower them with praise or not. In short, the motivation is intrinsic. The success then seems to happen on its own. Not to say that luck is also not a factor but it's out of your hands anyway so focusing on that aspect is wasted mental effort.