4 ms·

Living together is no guarantee that a couple will discuss those things. The solution to the problem of not discussing things isn't to live together, it's to di

Living together is no guarantee that a couple will discuss those things. The solution to the problem of not discussing things isn't to live together, it's to discuss those things.

Diederich 10y ago
It's not a binary question. Living together produces all kinds of 'mundane' contact that dating doesn't, which can facilitate those possibly uncomfortable discussions. Those discussions are certainly possible without living together, but they are far more likely to happen if people do live together.
- hueving 10y ago
  So the answer is still to discuss those things.
prawn 10y ago
Instead of living together, travel together. Few things more than travel force you to make decisions together involving money, schedules, priorities and more. It's also easier to extricate yourself during or after a holiday than from a joint living arrangement.
- ansible 10y ago
  Taking some trips together is good. I'd also recommend doing some projects together. Are you there type that likes to wing it, and your partner is the type to careful read the all the directions? You want to find out these sort of temperament issues before getting married.
  - icantdrive55 10y ago
    Bill Murry (actor) suggested taking a trip around the world before marriage. Yes, only the wealthy can think like this, but I will never forget what he said, and how he said it.
- dorfsmay 10y ago
  But living together will force you to be with the other in their state that you will share 90% of your life together. For example if they're happy not to wash the dishes for a whole week, you'll find that out and can argue about it when living together, but when travelling you might stay in a hotel where others do the dishes, or might stay for short enough period of time that you'll never find this out.
  - memonkey 10y ago
    Hah! You just typed my comment. OPs is only another facet of being in a relationship and definitely a good one. But for some, traveling often is not a real option, and the majority of the relationship is spent doing mundane things like washing the dishes, or working out, or finding time to create space and learning how to settle into roles together.

Living together is no guarantee that a couple will discuss those things. The solution to the problem of not discussing things isn't to live together, it's to discuss those things.

Diederich 10y ago

It's not a binary question. Living together produces all kinds of 'mundane' contact that dating doesn't, which can facilitate those possibly uncomfortable discussions. Those discussions are certainly possible without living together, but they are far more likely to happen if people do live together.

hueving 10y ago
So the answer is still to discuss those things.

prawn 10y ago

Instead of living together, travel together. Few things more than travel force you to make decisions together involving money, schedules, priorities and more. It's also easier to extricate yourself during or after a holiday than from a joint living arrangement.

ansible 10y ago
Taking some trips together is good. I'd also recommend doing some projects together. Are you there type that likes to wing it, and your partner is the type to careful read the all the directions? You want to find out these sort of temperament issues before getting married.
- icantdrive55 10y ago
  Bill Murry (actor) suggested taking a trip around the world before marriage. Yes, only the wealthy can think like this, but I will never forget what he said, and how he said it.
dorfsmay 10y ago
But living together will force you to be with the other in their state that you will share 90% of your life together. For example if they're happy not to wash the dishes for a whole week, you'll find that out and can argue about it when living together, but when travelling you might stay in a hotel where others do the dishes, or might stay for short enough period of time that you'll never find this out.
- memonkey 10y ago
  Hah! You just typed my comment. OPs is only another facet of being in a relationship and definitely a good one. But for some, traveling often is not a real option, and the majority of the relationship is spent doing mundane things like washing the dishes, or working out, or finding time to create space and learning how to settle into roles together.