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I've been thinking about this lately and I've concluded that a big driver of overwork is the misguided quest for fulfillment. Not really fulfillment like we n

I've been thinking about this lately and I've concluded that a big driver of overwork is the misguided quest for fulfillment. Not really fulfillment like we normally call it, I'd say more like acceptance. Perhaps many of us are seeking love and acceptance from bosses and coworkers, and overworking ourselves to obtain it. I believe that building your identity on anything that isn't yours is stressful. Building your ego on your job performance or on the positive feedback you get from coworkers isn't healthy. It's like emotional sharecropping. You are building your ego on someone else's land. People need to remember that work is the place where they have "human resource" departments, where they will make cut and dried decisions on who to retain and who to lay off the moment they want to adjust a budget.

infodroid 10y ago
> many of us are seeking love and acceptance I would go further than that, because I don't think this gets to the heart of the matter. The main driver of overwork is the promise of higher status that certain cultures bestow on those who pursue it [1]. The respect of bosses and the admiration of coworkers are just the consequences. As are the material benefits, like the increased salary and all the things it might buy. Yet advising overworkers to stop looking to others for positive feedback is not going to work for everyone. A large proportion of people identify as extroverts, people who need validation from others in order to feel good about themselves. And it's unrealistic to expect extroverts to be happy with valuing their self-worth the way introverts do. [1] Alain de Botton has a great book on this topic entitled Status Anxiety: http://alaindebotton.com/status/ http://alaindebotton.com/status/
RankingMember 10y ago
> It's like emotional sharecropping. You are building your ego on someone else's land. Nicely put.
SmellyGeekBoy 10y ago
> People need to remember that work is the place where they have "human resource" departments, where they will make cut and dried decisions on who to retain and who to lay off the moment they want to adjust a budget. Or looked at from another angle, this is one of the very reasons people want to be seen to be "going the extra mile" compared to their colleagues (not that I'm disagreeing - the point about seeking acceptance is a very important one).
kafkaesq 10y ago
Not really fulfillment like we normally call it, I'd say more like acceptance. That's exactly it -- people strive for "fulfillment", but find it to be at best a nebulous goal, ever out of reach. So they settle its poor imitations - acceptance and recognition.
vlaskovits 10y ago
"emotional share-cropping" is a brilliant and moreoever, accurate term. The writer of the piece, Jonas Koffler, is my co-author for Hustle. In the book, we address the difference between 'renting your dream' (ie emotional sharecropping) and 'owning your dream' finding your personal meaning, momentum and money. "I believe that building your identity on anything that isn't yours is stressful." We couldn't agree more. We also describe how one should diversify their identity/ego into a portfolio of sorts. https://www.amazon.com/Hustle-Power-Charge-Meaning-Momentum/dp/1623367166 https://www.amazon.com/Hustle-Power-Charge-Meaning-Momentum/...

infodroid 10y ago

> many of us are seeking love and acceptance I would go further than that, because I don't think this gets to the heart of the matter. The main driver of overwork is the promise of higher status that certain cultures bestow on those who pursue it [1]. The respect of bosses and the admiration of coworkers are just the consequences. As are the material benefits, like the increased salary and all the things it might buy. Yet advising overworkers to stop looking to others for positive feedback is not going to work for everyone. A large proportion of people identify as extroverts, people who need validation from others in order to feel good about themselves. And it's unrealistic to expect extroverts to be happy with valuing their self-worth the way introverts do. [1] Alain de Botton has a great book on this topic entitled Status Anxiety: http://alaindebotton.com/status/ http://alaindebotton.com/status/

RankingMember 10y ago

> It's like emotional sharecropping. You are building your ego on someone else's land. Nicely put.

SmellyGeekBoy 10y ago

> People need to remember that work is the place where they have "human resource" departments, where they will make cut and dried decisions on who to retain and who to lay off the moment they want to adjust a budget. Or looked at from another angle, this is one of the very reasons people want to be seen to be "going the extra mile" compared to their colleagues (not that I'm disagreeing - the point about seeking acceptance is a very important one).

kafkaesq 10y ago

Not really fulfillment like we normally call it, I'd say more like acceptance. That's exactly it -- people strive for "fulfillment", but find it to be at best a nebulous goal, ever out of reach. So they settle its poor imitations - acceptance and recognition.

vlaskovits 10y ago

"emotional share-cropping" is a brilliant and moreoever, accurate term. The writer of the piece, Jonas Koffler, is my co-author for Hustle. In the book, we address the difference between 'renting your dream' (ie emotional sharecropping) and 'owning your dream' finding your personal meaning, momentum and money. "I believe that building your identity on anything that isn't yours is stressful." We couldn't agree more. We also describe how one should diversify their identity/ego into a portfolio of sorts. https://www.amazon.com/Hustle-Power-Charge-Meaning-Momentum/dp/1623367166 https://www.amazon.com/Hustle-Power-Charge-Meaning-Momentum/...