3 ms·
You do procrastinate. What is happening is that you basically forced yourself to work when you did not want to for so long, your emotional system learned that w
by pipio21 10y ago
You do procrastinate. What is happening is that you basically forced yourself to work when you did not want to for so long, your emotional system learned that work is pain, basically.
Think of this like a Paulov conditioning a dog to have an electric shock every time he lights a bulb. At the end the dog avoids the lightbulb at all cost, even when not lighted.
Forcing yourself to do something painful trained your brain and created a trauma with work, as simple as that. Your body wants to help you not letting you work because: 1 work is associated as painful and 2 you can avoid it on the short term, so you avoid it.
A good psychologist can help you easily solve the issue, but probably there are not good ones or are expensive for you on your current situation. A bad one could also damage you btw.
So my advice is for you start learning about psychology yourself and learn how to recover from a traumatic experience using self help info. It is not difficult, basically is facing the traumatic experience but with a good outcome or getting rid of beliefs like "work is painful" that you learned over time. And of course, making work something pleasurable or at least neutral.
Think of this as a curiosity or funny game you play, not like work to do. You could start with "Wake up productive" of Eben Pagan, "The now habit" audiobook and training to remove specific beliefs.
If you are broke you can pirate it. Then pay for it when your life is better.
Forget resolutions and to do list by now. It is making it worse as it is introducing guilt for what you should do, adding more emotional pain.
Start making your life better, independently of your job. Eat well, exercise, enjoy beautiful and cheap places, the best things in life cost nothing...if you are jobless you are lucky and could go to amazing places when people are working, specially in overworked America! Go outside, no inside, and met people.
Start being grateful and enjoying your current situation. It looks crazy but is exactly what you need. Look at it as the opportunity to learn and be a much better person in the future that what you were.
- romankolpak 10y agothis comment is just beautiful
- gadthrow 10y agoThank you for this. I went through something similar and therapists told me it was simply depression, but this is a better and more thorough explanation by far.
- GFischer 10y agoCognitive Behavior Therapy is exactly for this kind of problems. I'm not sure where the original poster is, but here in my country, you can get free therapy by going to the training/university centre. You get therapy by postgraduate trainees (but very sharp and with everything fresh), and supervised by some of the very best, unaffordable professionals :) Here's a list in the United States (where I guess the poster lives): http://www.academyofct.org/lowcost/ http://www.academyofct.org/lowcost/ pipio21's suggestion of self-directed therapy seems to be validated :) : http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/19/depressed-try-therapy-without-the-therapist/ http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/06/19/depressed-tr...
- throwaway28935 10y agoYou guessed well. :) Thanks for the links, I wouldn't immediately have thought of universities. I like pipio21's suggestions as they sit very well with current situation.
- throwaway28935 10y agoWow. This resonates strongly. The parts I didn't mention, like for the 4 or 5 years of madness I could see the damage going on at home. We ended up so toxic towards each other, I'd feel guilt for the staff at the business and my partner and kids. No choice was guilt free or win, so the pressure built quickly. Looking back I wish I'd let the staff go long before I did, and shutter the business far quicker. Walking away and getting a low pressure job for a year would have been better for everyone. Doing what I was doing for the family cost me the relationship. We had a good split, the now ex came back to help when I broke and helped deal with all the outstanding business things. We still talk, though she doesn't understand what's going on with me, but neither do I, and thinks I can snap out of it. I like your suggestions, the hacker me always wants to understand everything, so it appeals on many levels, and as you guessed medical options are a bit limited now. Thank you. With all the responses to my quick comment last night, and writing out my replies I've got a real lift today. I need to make progress from that. Thank you everyone.